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[ - ] You're old: The Situation from Jersey Shore is 41 years old 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:31 AM Flag
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And so am I. So we are old together LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:38 AM Flag
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So? Everyone ages. One day Taylor Swift will be 50 y/o. Justin Bieber too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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This! And some will look great and others won’t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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Justin Bieber is well on his way. He's going to look terrible at 40. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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They’ll all be dead soon no matter what. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:50 PM Flag
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I'm pretty sure that is not correct. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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He's 36, which still makes him almost 20 years younger than me. Now that's old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:49 PM Flag
[ - ] If you have had an affair, tell me about the sex. Is it incredible? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:27 AM Flag
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sucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:32 AM Flag
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Really? Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:33 AM Flag
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Wasted a ton of time and hurt my conscience all for a small underwhelming penis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:35 AM Flag
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Did you only do it one time? That bad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:36 AM Flag
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totally disappointing. Did not live up to the fantasy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:42 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:43 AM Flag
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I’d imagine so. You don’t know each other but then casual sex was never appealing to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:14 AM Flag
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YMMV [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:25 AM Flag
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best sex ever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:10 AM Flag
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+1000 - The affair (he was married, I was not) was the very best sex I ever had. Sensual, kind, adventurous and amazing. Of course he is still married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:08 PM Flag
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Off the charts amazing. And it's not so much because it's illicit but because it was really that great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:04 PM Flag
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Was there crazy chemistry leading up to the point where you were physical? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:11 PM Flag
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Do you still keep in touch? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:17 PM Flag
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Sex amazing - life terrible. Was a very difficult time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:13 PM Flag
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Difficult with DH? Did the affair help you cope? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:16 PM Flag
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No affair was and is a narcissist - he tortured me and we work together still. It’s a nightmare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:19 PM Flag
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That is tough. Did anyone find out? How long did it last? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:22 PM Flag
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I am pretty certain people in the office knew but beyond that no. Seven years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:24 PM Flag
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Wow, both married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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Terrible. You think it's great at the time because of the build up. It's just the same sex you had in your 20s so it's spontaneous and not scheduled. It seems exciting because you've been married for a while, have DCs, etc... It makes you feel young. Until you ruin your life and he dumps you. It is not worth it for one second. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:36 PM Flag
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Amazing. Best ever. I haven't kissed DH in years and with the Other Guy, we make out like teenagers. He's also eight years older than DH, and knows EXACTLY what to do. Very commanding in bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:06 PM Flag
[ - ] What's the best public middle school for DC? DC is switching from private to public middle school. 4.49 ELA, 4.49 Math, As and A-s for grades. Assuming DC is qualified, which citywides/unzoned/charter middle schools effectively combine rigor with inquiry? NEST has the reputation of being quite didactic. Is this true? How is BSI? Do the kids master the basics? Mark Twain seemed traditional and mediocre. Does the school allow for independent projects and critical thinking? Would it be worth it to consider citywides further afield? Does he seem like Hunter material? Should we stick with a local middle school and attempt Hunter next year? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:51 AM Flag
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The thing is you have to try for everything and be happy if you get even one of these options. Odds are so low for the citywide schools and same for Hunter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:58 AM Flag
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Thank you for the advice! I appreciate it. So just list every citywide and cross fingers? Should I consider any other schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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Yes. What district? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:04 AM Flag
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I already have choices lined up in my district. I'm more concerned about unzoned schools that I may not have considered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:05 AM Flag
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Homeschool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:14 AM Flag
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Very slim chances at any great publics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:50 AM Flag
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Dc are at NEST. You sound like you would like Hunter but you can’t plan around it. Those are really high scores. A bunch of kids started at NEST sand went to Hunter the next year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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Dc are at NEST. You sound like you would like Hunter but you can’t plan around it. Those are really high scores. A bunch of kids started at NEST sand went to Hunter the next year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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If dc is currently in private school, how did you get these test scores? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel badly, but DH has a long-time friend who has a family and we have spent time with them in the past. The problem is that they have always been rude to me from the day I met them. I used to stay quiet when they said rude things to me or made a dig at me, but now I simply won't spend time with them if I can help it. Do you blame me? Jeez. They have kids who I don't enjoy being around either. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It's too bad, but I don't feel good around them. Go figure. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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Why would you feel bad about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:44 AM Flag
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op: DH's friend's wife asks us to get together. But, I could have DH take my DC's and get together with them. That way I am not uncomfortable and DH gets to see his good friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:49 AM Flag
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Why is dh ok with this family being rude to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:50 AM Flag
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op: great question. I've told him about it,but he doesn't react. Wierd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:53 AM Flag
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Weird, dysfunctional, disrespectful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:01 AM Flag
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op: truth [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:04 AM Flag
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NP DECLINE the invitation. Your dh can make plans with just the husband if he wants to. You don't want your kid around people who are rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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and your husband is an ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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op: true. my kids are no angels, but they are respectful to others and kind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:05 AM Flag
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op: I didn't decline, just said we were away and not around. It's true actually! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:06 AM Flag
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That is declining. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:29 AM Flag
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What's with your dh? Is he usually respectful to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 08:49 AM Flag
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*I feel bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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I was about to post this. Feeling badly means you have trouble feeling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Will ice actually speed up the healing of a bruise? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:33 AM Flag
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It reduces the blood flood (and swelling). The smaller the area, the faster the healing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:36 AM Flag
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Flow, not flood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:46 AM Flag
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Yes - Ice first 24 - 48 hours then use heat to reduce the color. For a heatpad, I put rice in a sock and put it in microwave - I get alot of bruises!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:36 AM Flag
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TY! "Socking it" right now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:49 AM Flag
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Try Arnica cream [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:50 AM Flag
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we use the gel, but same idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Any advice? A have a wonderful “friend group”. One of our friends brought a new women in this year. The rest of us can’t stand her, but now she’s invited to our get togethers. I don’t know what to do. I would feel mean excluding her, but really don’t enjoy spending tome with her. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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You have to pull rank or majority vote on the inviting friend, and on an official basis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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I'm trying to imagine how a group of functioning adults with spouses and kids and possibly jobs decides to organize an official vote on whether Jane can come to the next Sip'n Paint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:29 AM Flag
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IKR? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:16 AM Flag
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You might be writing about me. I brought a friend into my circle and I can tell the other women are bristling. The problem is that I like this woman and she likes the group. I can tell she has no idea that she is grating on the others. I don’t know how to handle it. She would be hurt if I started excluding her and I don’t want to lose her friendship. Now I feel guilty that I brought her in and disrupted the dynamic. Its difficult all around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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Bow out. One of those friend dates don’t be there and the group will x her in your absence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:18 AM Flag
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This is a very hard situation. I had the same thing. I really don't like the person and she tends to dominate the group. What can you do? It feels too harsh to tell her she is not invited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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A friend of mine sort of crashed our group, and she does grate on some people in the group, but, like the poster above, I can't tell her. She's a dear friend, and I would never do anything to hurt her feelings. I was thinking about this recently, though, and over the years there have been some other people who have come and gone that I found annoying or didn't enjoy spending time with, and it really wasn't that big a deal. At any rate, if my group voted to disinvite my friend, as the first or suggests, I would have to leave the group too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:04 AM Flag
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Either spend time with everyone in the group, or find a new group of friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:12 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:35 AM Flag
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Seconding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:19 AM Flag
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This is why "friend groups" are over-rated in adulthood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:28 AM Flag
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What's wrong with her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:59 AM Flag
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There is a difference between excluding someone and not inviting her. Just invite the people you like when you are the host. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Good gift for a girl turning 6 with very cerebral parents. if books, give me examples, please ! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:12 AM Flag
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Zooey And sassafras book series! So great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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There are some beautifully illustrated fairy tales/myths out there (The Twelve Dancing Princesses or Pegasus by Marianna Mayer; Sleeping Beauty by Mahlon Craft; Rumpelstiltskin or Rapunzel by Paul Zelinksy; Cupid and Psyche by M. Charlotte Craft; The Tale of the Firebird by Gennady Spirin; Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters by John Stepto). The Story of Holly and Ivy by Rumer Godden and Barbara Cooney is a perfect Christmas story for this age. Blueberries for Sal, One Morning in Maine, and Time of Wonder (all by Robert McCloskey) are some of my all-time favorites. James Herriot's Treasury for Children and The Animals of Maple Hill Farm are perfect for animal lovers. Chapter books: Ramona the Pest; Charlotte's Web; Stuart Little; My Father's Dragon; The House at Pooh Corner. You could get several Bill Peet books (Cyrus the Unsinkable Sea Serpent is fun, but you can't go wrong with any of them). Or get a selection of poetry picture books: Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening (illustrated by Susan Jeffers); Casey at the Bat (ill. Christopher Bing); Paul Revere's Ride (ill. Ted Rand); When We Were Very Young (poetry by A. A. Milne). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:37 AM Flag
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You might want to reread Rumpelstiltskin: a young girl has to spin a room of straw into gold overnight. If she doesn't, she is killed by the king; if she does, she gets to marry the king. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 09:22 AM Flag
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Common sense media [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 07:59 AM Flag
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Games eg board or card [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 08:00 AM Flag
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the book Elsie Piddock Skips in Her Sleep by Eleanor Farjeon and a jump rope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 09:17 AM Flag
[ - ] I posted this earlier. My MIL's 54 years old. I am 37. I am aware she is very young. She and FIL moved in with us. FIL is having memory issues, and we live near the place they want him treated. DH and I think FIL has epilepsy. MIL thinks FIL has FTD. No one seems to think he has Alzheimer's, so that's good. MIL has no degree, no career. She worked at Hardee's with FIL in the '80s until FIL joined the military. She got a job at ABC Liquor for two years in the '90s, but then FIL got transferred. She has a lot of health issues. She's in pain a lot, needs to lay down during the day, is not comfortable being in the car for a long distance like 50 miles. She has seen many doctors about her pain. She says it's a complication from the chemo treatments she had for cancer back in 2011. She seems depressed and takes Lexapro. She wants to start a business with FIL. Sometimes she talks about doing real estate with FIL. Sometimes she wants to start a video game company. Sometimes she talks about starting a foundation to search for the cure of whatever it is FIL may be diagnosed with. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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This came out long, but I tried this before and was told more information was needed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:14 AM Flag
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Is there a question here? It does sound tough for all involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:19 AM Flag
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Before I was just asking what advice you'd all give. I understand she doesn't want a boss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:33 AM Flag
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I’d sign her up for therapy and redirect her annoying chatter there and use medium chill when I couldn’t avoid her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 08:01 AM Flag
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She needs to find another dr about the pain, etc. No, she does not seem qualified to start a business. Did FIL used to do RE? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:40 AM Flag
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She's gone to lots of different places for the pain. The army's paid for them to travel and put them up in hotels to see doctors. She calls it "bone pain." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:35 AM Flag
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Wow, that situation sounds like a #hotmess [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:44 AM Flag
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She can't "start a business" bc it doesn't sound like she has any $$ or real experience. Working somewhere doesn't mean you know how to run a business and all it entails. It also takes stamina. I think she has wishful thinking. She needs to figure out her and her dh's health first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:53 AM Flag
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She thinks they should use the contacts FIL's made during his three decades of service to get friends to invest in them. They did flip a few houses before the market crashed, but just on the side and for fun. They were able to sell a house they lived in for less than two years without penalty as well because of FIL getting transferred. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:39 AM Flag
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Did they make money flipping? How can she do that if she’s in pain? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 08:00 AM Flag
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Yes, they made money from it. I don't know how she plans on being as active at something she did a decade ago when she always needs to lay down. FIL has to help her off the toilet sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:14 PM Flag
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I answered before that i was 54 and that was not old. But here's something else I got from this post: FIL has a military pension. Unless you are in a very high cost of living area, that means they can afford to move out, which sounds like it would be better for al concerned. And MIL needs to be a grown up and get a job. Yes, they suck sometimes and you have a boss but that's what you do for money. I wouldn't advise her to start a business (does she have any education, training in anything related to it, beyond a couple of years working?) but that's not your problem. What does your DH say btw? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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Yes, I made sure to put in the post this time that I'm aware 54 is young since it seemed my omitting this fact implied otherwise. FIL has a good pension, plus he separated with 100% disability. They could afford to rent a studio or one bedroom. They could afford more if they commuted to the doctors. They do have an auto loan they're paying on that's probably more than $800 a month, and they are paying storage unit fees for all their stuff. The original plan was to have FIL get a job using his degree and skills, but he lost his security clearance due to the memory issues. FIL got his master's, but MIL never pursued any of the spousal education benefits. She volunteered with the FRG (Family Readiness Group). My DH thinks it would be a big mistake for her to waste the money and contacts on one of these ideas. He hopes it's just her talking and not something she'll actually act on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:10 PM Flag
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She’s not the type to start. company successfully. Some people who say that mean they don’t want a boss, but true entrepreneurs are super driven type As. She is just a slacker. Get her out of your home! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Are you happy with your weight? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:55 AM Flag
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I would like to lose 5 or 10 lbs & be a slimmer version of myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:56 AM Flag
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Yes. Just shy of 5'6, weight 123. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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What’s your weight management routine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:36 AM Flag
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Yes, I could stand to lose another 15 lbs but I wear a size 8 pant so I'm not terribly overweight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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How tall are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:58 AM Flag
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4’10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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Not yet, but I’m working on it. Need to lose about 20 pounds. I’ll still be UB fat, but I know it’s a good and sustainable weight for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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5'5, 135 lbs, 40 yo. Happy enough with my weight but would like to be more fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:09 AM Flag
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Yes! I look amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:10 AM Flag
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Stats? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:20 AM Flag
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Yes, 5'6", 120lbs, 3 DCs who keep me busy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:13 AM Flag
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Happy with my size & weight but not my fitness level. I work out on weekends only, because my work days during the week are so long. I like to run and try to enter races but I always feel ill-prepared and don't do very well because I never have time to run enough. I also get backaches and the like from sitting so long at work every day. I need to be doing more core work, stretching, maybe yoga to prevent it. Also I have bad shoulders due to injuries over the years and I should be keeping up with the PT and I hardly ever do the exercises so I am always afraid I will hurt them again while out skiing or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:33 AM Flag
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No, 5'6" 150#. Working on it. I have lost 13 pounds since Feb 2016 (I know that's ridiculously slow) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:34 AM Flag
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I used to want to lose like 10 pounds, now I am dealing with severe stomach issues and am trying to gain back 3. Would rather be 10 pounds extra. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:17 AM Flag
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Yes but not body fat percentage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:21 AM Flag
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No. I gained 15lbs this year. :-( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:41 AM Flag
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No. 5'7" 140. I'm much happier at 125-130. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:00 AM Flag
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Yes 5’3, 108 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 09:23 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:29 PM Flag
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Ok, this is the skinny UB crowd. Feeling fat at 5'4" and 118 now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:37 PM Flag
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190, down from 210. I'm actually happy with my body, but my parents are overweight, too, and they are now dealing with joint replacements, diabetes, and other health issues, so I know I need to lose. I'm on a plan and losing 2-4 pounds a month for two more years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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Not at all. I used to be naturally really thin. Was around 108 when I got married. Now 40 with 3DCs and 160 :( I don't need to be that tiny but 130 would be nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:02 PM Flag
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Yes. I'm 31, 5'5 and 120-125 lbs. I had a baby 9 months ago. My body looks similar to how it did before prior to pregnancy, but I'm guessing there are certain parts that won't look exactly the way the used to (boobs once I'm done breastfeeding, my ribs stick out and got wider, my tummy skin is... stretchier?), but it's okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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No. 5'6 and 133. Feel better at 115-120. Stomach issues at this weight.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:14 PM Flag
[ - ] OMG! This is crazy. https://nypost.com/2018/12/09/cops-caught-on-video-trying-to-wrestle-child-away-from-mom/ 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:50 AM Flag
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Well, look at it the other way, can someone have a free rein and be disorderly and avoid being arrested simply by having a baby with them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:02 AM Flag
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THIS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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Did you actually WATCH the video and read the story? She was sitting on the floor because their were no seats available. The one cop pointed a STUN GUN at people and bent down to show it to her. Ignorant, poorly trained officers. http://gothamist.com/2018/12/10/video_cops_infant_mother_brooklyn.php [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:49 PM Flag
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They were ripping the baby out of her arms. Because she was sitting on the floor, FFS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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^And to clarify, the objection here is the safety of the baby, not so much whether she should be arrested. This is the mindset that police should be able to just assault anyone who complicates their day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:04 AM Flag
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What is your solution- they asked her to leave and she wouldn't. I imagine they said come with us, you are under arrest, and she acted boneless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:07 AM Flag
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Lol. It's not up to PP or you to offer a solution. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:08 AM Flag
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But it is up to the police and they went with one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:09 AM Flag
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Wow, the posts just get dumber and dumber. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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Nothing wrong with this- my previous comment had a response of "shutup, it's not up to you". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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My solution is that police put more effort into communicating with people who are acting irrational, even if it takes time and patience, instead of setting off a melee that endangers a baby. Is that unreasonable, really? Police often act like lazy, abusive parents who tell the kid once to stop jumping or whatever and when the kid doesn't comply within seconds, they go ballistic and hit them in the face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:16 AM Flag
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I don't know why you are presuming that didn't already happen, as it would have occurred off camera. They asked her to leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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WTF, so if you ask someone to leave and they don't leave, you're allowed to create this kind of scene that physically endangers a baby? Freak. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:26 AM Flag
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It is normal to expect to be removed if you don't obey law enforcement. What is not normal is for the mom to endanger the child by continuing to resist the authorities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:50 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:35 AM Flag
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They simply aren't emotionally willing to do that, but I agree, that should be a major emphasis in training. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:04 PM Flag
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Won't SOMEbody PLEASE think of the Children?!?!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:48 PM Flag
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Mom should think and follow instructions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 11:57 PM Flag
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What is so crazy? That even legals are using their kids to avoid being arrested? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:02 AM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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So far, the responses here are assuming that the individual was being disorderly. There will be an investigation and then you armchair detectives can opine again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:05 AM Flag
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I would take the s off of detectives, likely one person who is going to continue answering themselves [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:06 AM Flag
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Yes, there's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:07 AM Flag
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It is what the article says and it just so happens to make sense to explain the officers' behavior. Forgive us for going with it despite what you want to believe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:08 AM Flag
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It's not what the article says. What part of "investigation" do you not understand? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:10 AM Flag
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Yes it is. The article says the criminal was described by the facility as "disorderly", precisely the word OR chose to use. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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Yet she's been tried and convicted here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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She was arrested by the police and there is a plausible story contained in the article as to what behavior prior to the cameras turning on might have caused them to arrest her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:21 AM Flag
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Oy. I've got an idea: let's let a judge or jury decide. If your next door neighborhood reported you for behavior, you would expect the same due process. If you wish to bypass that and have bystanders or the facility decide, you can certainly save everyone some time and plead guilty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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I didn't start the conversation, Jane. It's a free country- if I want to give my opinion on something reported in the media, I will. The media isn't taking the attitude, "Hey, let's not report this and let's quietly allow the wheels of justice to do their boring jobs." Shutting us up isn't going to make her less guilty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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Go to bed, little one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:28 AM Flag
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If you want to exonerate her because you hate the police, show us some evidence that she did nothing wrong. So far, the evidence is that she was reported to be "disorderly", not by random people, but by the government authority that runs that facility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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I don't hate the police, but I think it's laughable that you get all your facts BEFORE anyone knows the whole story. EVEN the police said they're conducting an investigation. Now, I have to go to bed because I have work tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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I just read the link; I am barred by you from commenting on it in a rational fashion? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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No honey, rationality involves due process. You're taking content (the "facility said") on a daily rag and spinning it into an indictment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:47 PM Flag
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"By the facility", and who would that be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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I wont insult your comprehension skills by telling you things from the article you can read yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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Lazy troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:25 AM Flag
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You can. bet your bottom dollar that when they show the video tape from the DCS you will see that she was completely crazy and out of control. I do think they could have handled it better but she was crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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They showed the tape. She couldn't find a chair and sat on the floor to wait her turn. She had been there for 2 hours trying to get services. I would be damned if some jerk told me to leave emptyhanded too. She wasn't causing a scene at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 09:59 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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And now you have a glimpse into what it's like to be poor and black and female in this country. You should all be disgusted by this video. Blocking a hallway does not deserve this, and wouldn't have been the result if we were talking about someone with means or who wasn't a person of color. Absolutely disgusting this video. Horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.18, 02:28 AM Flag
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And now you have a glimpse into what it's like to be poor and black and female in this country. You should all be disgusted by this video. Blocking a hallway does not deserve this, and wouldn't have been the result if we were talking about someone with means or who wasn't a person of color. Absolutely disgusting this video. Horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.18, 02:29 AM Flag
[ - ] I was raised in a household where the discipline could be described as borderline abusive (my shrink would just say abusive, but my sibs and I are all successful and doing okay, if not exactly well adjusted). Because of this, I REALLY struggle with disciplining my kids. I have read 'How Toddlers Thrive" and "The Whole Brain Child", and can use the gentler methods described here when kids are older (2.2 yo twins, hard to reason with them at this age). I also started 123 Magic, but will never do separation time outs when it upsets them so much. Any recommendations for books that might help me figure out the line between being a totally permissive parent (current direction, unfortunately) and feeling I am being abusive? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:43 AM Flag
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Current catalyst was dinner tonight - long story short, after a series of negotiations, DS basically had a lollipop for dinner. Did not feel like an excellent parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:46 AM Flag
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I grew up with a lot of spankings so I get it. I feel like I'm being abusive when I follow through with taking things away or doing time outside since they act like the world is coming to an end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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Typo..possibly Freudian slip. Meant to type time outs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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It's cheesy but DH and I both love watching Supernanny. She has seen it all and has so many great suggestions. She is calm and cool and what I like best is that she gets a bit detached during discipline. Without being overtly harsh it sort of reminds the kids that she is an adult, she is in charge and she should maybe be feared at least a little bit. All business when dispensing punishment but quick to get back to lovey dovey when matters are resolved. She follows through consistently, which is huge. After years of watching this show we are also big on talking through emotions when kids are upset and helping them think of alternate ways to deal with frustration. Can work even at age 2/3. We also TRY not to negotiate but I know it's hard because initially it sounds harmless to explain yourself. SN doesn't fight over dinner -- either they eat what is offered or they do not eat it. She does NOT offer second choices at meal time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:53 AM Flag
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Having a “Naughty spot” is not great parenting in my book [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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this is such great advice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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No time outs. Child is allowed their feelings—even if it’s not a big deal to us (ie tantrum over lollipop). Empathy. But hold the limit. Lollipops don’t make a great dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:33 AM Flag
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but how do you deal with like - hitting, kicking, pushing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:49 AM Flag
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2 yo is really too young to discipline , but don't give him a lollipop. Ignore the tantrum [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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Time outs can definitely be used for a 2 yr old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:54 AM Flag
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OP - you will laugh, but I do extremely light time outs where I lock them in the play pen. I am in full view of them the whole time (elsewhere in the room), and the play pen is full of toys (it never occurs to them to play when in time out). Even this is mildly devastating to the kids, but a little bit effective. They just stand at the door all puppy dog eyes saying sorry and asking to be let out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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I’m laughing picturing you in a rocking chair eating their favorite snack while doing this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 08:02 AM Flag
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They really aren't that useful. Kids at 2 don't have the capacity to really understand the time out. I did them too b/c this was the way people claimed you needed to discipline but tbh you just redirect them, take away temptations and don't give negative attention to give them power. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:15 AM Flag
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Look at Parenting with Love and Logic; it's all about natural consequences and calm, consistent discipline. I too loved to watch Supernanny, like the poster above, and the love and logic methods remind me a lot of what she does. I raised 4 DCs on these books (they have them through teen years), and the three older ones (25, 23, 19) have turned out pretty well. Jury's still out on the HS one :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:08 AM Flag
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I love the Positive Discipline series. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:10 AM Flag
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I hate time outs. We do time ins. When my child is upset I don't isolate him. And, BTW, we have a lovely, responsible teen now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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I had a kid who needed time ins. Some kids just do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:04 AM Flag
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Hand in hand parenting and aha parenting. Both have books and blogs. We don’t do time out either. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:21 AM Flag
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Just want to mention something as someone who works with a lot of 20-somethings. I sincerely get the feeling that many of them have never had anything taken away from them before. They will blatantly flout rules but are then consistently SHOCKED when there are actual consequences, even relatively minor ones. It is bizarre to me and hard to watch. They lack basic coping skills and are struggling to continue participating. I seriously wonder what will happen to them when parents (with whom the speak daily or close to it) pass away and then they are hit with eventual double whammy of money running out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:23 AM Flag
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Thank you. My childhood is by today’s standards abusive but I’m fine with the results :p [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:23 AM Flag
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OR: I just meant there is a sweet spot in the middle -- don't feel bad about little punishments that seem reasonable to you but seem like end of world to them. And I an sorry for your struggles growing up but glad that you are doing well now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:47 PM Flag
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i have the same issue! we talk about it every night. and we often cross the line one way or another. it's so hard. i read a lot of aha parenting (laura markham), 'the explosive child' 'the spirited child' more so than overall parenting books bc i think you need one toolkit for a difficult child that may be more speciific than for one who is not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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Read Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott. Also The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. I think you will love these. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:36 AM Flag
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Love and Logic is good too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:37 AM Flag
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Children Will Talk. By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:17 AM Flag
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Becoming the Parent You Want to Be is a fantastic book. It makes you think about what your goals are when you discipline. It helped me so much, i give it to all of my new mom friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] My waiter fat shamed me at dinner tonight. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:41 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. Shame on him, he is there to serve customers and help them have an enjoyable experience. Sounds like he is unhappy about something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:46 AM Flag
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Sorry OP, that's just completely ridiculous. I hope you said something, you don't need some idiot waitstaff giving you attitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:50 AM Flag
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Aw sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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What did he say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:53 AM Flag
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Usually I have some leftovers, but tonight I ate everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:56 AM Flag
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And? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:05 AM Flag
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maybe he was trying to say you liked the meal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:26 AM Flag
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Np I do this often. This is for one person? You’re sure? Eyes bigger than stomach? What You doing in the bathroom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:24 AM Flag
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Maybe you’re just being sensitive. If he’s been a waiter long enough he’s seen it all like binges, gluttons, EDs, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone use class pass? I’ve been doing different classes for about 6-7 months and just realized classpass is a ton cheaper. Is there a catch? Same barre and boot camp classes I already do 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:39 AM Flag
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Usually there’s a limit to how many times you can use the studio. I use it to play tennis. I save a ton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:43 AM Flag
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The lrime times are blocked out at many studios. So if you never need to work out before work or after work, it’s fine. Also, there can onky be something like 2-4 class-passers per class, so the sign-up times can be competitive and you may need to set a phone alarm. I did it three years ago for about two years before I had kids and I lived it. Not sure how much this advice still holds up though, so anyone else, feel free to chime in! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:58 AM Flag
[ - ] I’m so done with my dd. The school is doing toy drive and I had a toy delivered by Prime Now tonight, but then she opens up and uses it 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:36 AM Flag
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How old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:37 AM Flag
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12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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OP. 4. Not 12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:54 AM Flag
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Or: you have very high expectations of a 4 year old then. My now 5 year old ds has wanted every toy I’ve purchased for a birthday party so I’ve just learned to only buy stuff for other kids that he has. I think having a brand new toy in front of a young child that is in your home and they can’t have is a difficult concept and I have a generally well behaved ds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:49 AM Flag
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The thing was that she has a similar stuff that she no longer even plays with. So I thought she wouldn’t be interested in this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:52 AM Flag
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Just skip the toy drive; no one cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:38 AM Flag
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Of course we care!! We're doing a toy drive for homeless kids--those kids need it so much more than mine!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:16 AM Flag
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Well, next time, hide the toy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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OP. Above is not me. Someone impersonating me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:37 AM Flag
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Sorry, what a shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:38 AM Flag
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Maybe beat her with the toy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:39 AM Flag
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Ok. The child is FOUR. She hasn’t mastered implode control or empathy. She’s not being a jerk. Totally age appropriate, albeit frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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Where were you and the other adults during this time frame? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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Did she know what it was for, and that she wasn't supposed to touch it? If she did, maybe have her help with some age-appropriate chores to "earn" money to donate a new toy. If she didn't know, what can you do....frustrating though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:43 AM Flag
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She did know. The toy drive ends tomorrow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:56 AM Flag
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So she's being a shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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A 4 yr old might not be able to resist this temptation or might not see the big deal about playing with it. You should have put it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:16 AM Flag
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THIS THIS THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:05 AM Flag
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Dd and I were talking like, let’s buy a toy to donate. So I thought she would do better than this. Also it was nothing new or different from what she already has [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Why don’t people lie more? I tutor and if you tell me your kid is puking I say oh sorry to hear that, I hope he feels better soon. But if you tell me you made a mistake in the schedule and are canceling with less than 12 hours notice, I expect payment. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:32 AM Flag
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I don't lie because I hate lying and if I have to cancel something last second I think the person I'm canceling on still deserves payment. Especially if I like them and rely on them a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:39 AM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:40 AM Flag
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+1. Matter of respect - of the other person and of myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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She asked if she still had to pay. I’m such a pushover. I didn’t say no but I didn’t say yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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I'm a tutor. Is this a long-time thing or a new student? Long-time, I might let it go. If not, I might say, How about half this time and going forward the whole thing if you have to cancel with less than 24 hours (or whatever) notice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:47 AM Flag
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About two years with the client. She was honest bc she wanted to see if I could switch the time slot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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Oh, then I would try to switch, and if I couldn't, I'd probably let it go but mention that in the future I'd need to get paid.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:18 AM Flag
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NP: agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Just started season 1 of Dr. Who on Amazon. Is this a waste of time? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:31 AM Flag
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Not my thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:33 AM Flag
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My friends are into it. Men & women. Not my thing either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:34 AM Flag
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I can't even tell what genre this is...science fiction? It seems rather cheesy even for 2005 standards which is when Season 1 came out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:36 AM Flag
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I think it is sci fi/fantasy...looks cheesy, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:44 AM Flag
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Used to lie to my parents all the time and after I moved out consider not having a lie a privilege. I’d only lie to someone if I were scared of them and I’m not scared of anyone (within reason obviously). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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Oops wrong thread [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:43 AM Flag
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I dont think this is meant for the Dr. Who post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend a divorce mediator? We want to avoid battling lawyers.. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:12 AM Flag
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Please reconsider. My friend used a mediator b/c she thought she and dh were going to be fine. She now wants to sue the mediator b/c she claims the mediator was biased in her husband's favor etc. I kept telling her to get her own attorney. She says the mediator didn't delve deep enough to see if her dh had funds he hid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:15 AM Flag
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How would a lawyer be able to find something a mediator couldn’t? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:19 AM Flag
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NO: a mediator is there to mediate a resolution, not to perform records searches and other discovery problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:22 AM Flag
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NP, not NO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:23 AM Flag
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They try? This mediator took them at their word and didn't delve into things. A lot didn't add up in my mind regarding their finances. She was very nonchalant. I suppose in an amicable divorce maybe that is fine but this ended up becoming very tumultuous and by then a mediator isn't that practical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:23 AM Flag
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Because it's not a formal proceeding. Not the mediator's job to delve into things. They are there to facilitate settlement, no more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:29 AM Flag
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Which is then how you can get screwed. So a non-suspecting spouse (male or female) can get railroaded by the other spouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:36 AM Flag
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My advice is to get a lawyer. I'm just telling it like it is with mediators. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:40 AM Flag
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Well, I guess I wonder... do lawyers have some mechanism by which they could find something a mediator couldn’t. Because our mediator looked at 3 years of tax returns. I’m not sure where money could have been hidden unless it was from more than 3 years ago. And I guess that could happen but it seems unlikely to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:30 AM Flag
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1. Did the mediator look at the returns and take them at face value, just to see what income is? 2. Is all of your and ex's income from W-2s and 1099s. 3Not certain what your mediator did with the returns, are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:35 AM Flag
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I am self employed, exdh is all W2 income plus some income we each had from investments. She said she was looking at them to understand what kind of income each of us might expect to make in the near future . For example, if my business made $20k this year but made $150k the previous two years, we would figure out what that was all about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:50 AM Flag
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Did she ask/examine whether 1. You have or could have cash income? 2. Whether DH might have any stock options? Other deferred compensation? 3. If either of you had any trusts, which invested solely in tax exempts? Or did she assume you guys were basically honest and disclosed all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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NP I would be surprised if anyone would overlook the possibility of a small business owner possibly getting cash income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:05 AM Flag
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Np That isn’t the mediator’s job. Mediator is to craft an agreement both parties will sign, not to approximate what would happen in court. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:01 AM Flag
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Do not due this unless you absolutely certain what you would be entitled to. I would at least meet with an attorney [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:19 AM Flag
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Entitled to in services or in a settlement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:26 AM Flag
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Entitled to as in a settlement, child support, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:26 AM Flag
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Don't go that route. Trust me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:26 AM Flag
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Don't listen to these bitter women. Mediation worked very well for us. You can't go in expecting to get more than half, or even half. You have to go in thinking that mediation is best for the child(ren) and you are willing to get less to preserve the relationship and to think of it as an investment in the child(ren). Chris Sorensen was wonderful. Mediation is a game changer because it allows you to retain the focus on what is important in the long-term. FYI, I still go to therapy with ex every 2-4 weeks for co-parenting. We spend time together with/for our child from time to time - recitals, parent-teacher conferences, school interviews and tours. We are also planning to spend Christmas day together WITH my boyfriend and his son, and my ex's girlfriend would be welcomed with her children if it wasn't such a new relationship. I think that mediation set us up for this positive, post-divorce relationship. Don't get me wrong - it's still tense sometimes. But our kid feels it less when we can all spend time together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:12 AM Flag
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Mediating OP here - I still paid two attorneys to review the mediation docs. I'm not dumb. I think we paid about 15K total to Chris for mediation and filing, plus a couple grand to our individual attorneys who reviewed the docs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:15 AM Flag
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What was the total $? How many meetings / time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:31 AM Flag
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So, in essence mediation is not trustworthy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 12:35 PM Flag
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Mediation screwed DH. Wish he had a do over [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:38 AM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:31 AM Flag
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Consider collaborative divorce. Get someone trained in it. I do not reco mediation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:07 PM Flag
[ - ] What is something you’re really hoping for right now? 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:54 AM Flag
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A good night's sleep. Hell week coming up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:57 AM Flag
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To find a country house with all of requirements in our price range. Looking impossible but budget is restricted bc we’re buying cash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:59 AM Flag
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VbA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:00 AM Flag
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Not if you heard our budget, which is 200-250k. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:07 AM Flag
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That's still a significant amount of disposable cash for 99% of the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:08 AM Flag
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I realize that but I usually feel poor on this site. We are big savers so when people talk about $500-$5000 dresses here it feels like I’m visiting a different planet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:11 AM Flag
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What area? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:02 AM Flag
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Looking about an hour away from the union square area, mostly northeastern New Jersey and near Woodbury area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:09 AM Flag
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You'll get a lot more for your money as you go west. Try Sussex County [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:31 AM Flag
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We are, thanks! I don’t know NJ well (been looking for two months) and I thought Sussex was northeast NJ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:38 AM Flag
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^northeast is more suburban, we want at least a half acre [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:39 AM Flag
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Where? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:02 AM Flag
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cash is smart! congrats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:05 AM Flag
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Thanks:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:20 AM Flag
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For the real estate market to take a significant dip [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:03 AM Flag
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Prices will dip but rates will rise. Do you have cash? By that would be the sweet spot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:57 AM Flag
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This will sound pathetic and hopeless, but I really hope he comes around and we get back together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:07 AM Flag
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A proposal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:21 AM Flag
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GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:23 AM Flag
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a 2 bedroom apartment for me and 2 dds. We live in a one bed and it's very hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:33 AM Flag
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To have my project picked up by people who can finance it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:35 AM Flag
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That this baby is born healthy, that DS stays happy and healthy. That is all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:38 AM Flag
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Best wishes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:44 AM Flag
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Thank you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:00 AM Flag
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A good observation tomorrow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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For the price to drop about 50k on the apartment I saw today [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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Just offer 100K below asking. If they have no other offers, the 50K cut might seem reasonable to meet you in the middle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:00 AM Flag
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Asking is 450, so 50-100k drop would be huge (unreasonable). If it’s still on the market in 60 days though, I might offer 400-410. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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It could happen! Neigbors dropped their price 10% recently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:02 AM Flag
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DEFINITELY offer. i bought my apt at 80% of asking. it was a weird time in the market but still. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:51 AM Flag
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That DH lands a job in the next couple of months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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An offer for DH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:38 AM Flag
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A career, not a job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 06:32 AM Flag
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For DW to be able to quit smoking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:11 PM Flag
[ - ] How is the University of Indiana @Bloomington? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:54 AM Flag
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Nice. Lots of Jewish kids which is what I assume you're wondering about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 01:55 AM Flag
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Great music school. Several other good schools. Beautiful campus, especially in spring, summer and fall. Large Greek life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:05 AM Flag
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Makes sense no wonder friends son can't find a job. He's a drunk now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:47 AM Flag
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The music school is best in the country, among the best in the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:08 AM Flag
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Good to know! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:51 AM Flag
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Good, but not the best. That's Eastman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 04:40 AM Flag
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I originally went for piano performance but then switched to Business after 1st semester (realized I wasn't going to make any money - piano much harder than other instruments since an orchestra doesn't have a piano compared to numerous other instruments). Eventually got in to Kelley Business School, majored in Finance and got a job in i-banking in NYC. Very Greek school and beautiful campus. Good sports culture (when i was there the soccer team wont the NCAA title twice and basketball team went to finals one year). A bit of a party school, but as a student you can choose how much you want to partake in that scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:18 AM Flag
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How about for Journalism? LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:47 AM Flag
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Ehh not very academic. Safety school for dummies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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I posted above and certainly wouldn't consider myself dumb....I-banks don't hire "dummies". I also still play piano on an advanced level - a skill that most people don't have. Your school doesn't always determine how well you do career-wise. Mark Cuban went to IU; Marc Andreessen went to Univ of Illinois. Are they "dummies"? I know people - men - who went to Princeton and Harvard who make $250k a year - less than I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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^^ IU also has an Investment Banking Workshop offered to top students in the Business School (started a year or two after I graduated). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:30 AM Flag
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Who cares? I hate when people think being an investment banker is the best possible thing you can aspire to be in life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:54 AM Flag
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NP: another piano player here..what would,you consider to be “advanced level” piano? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:48 AM Flag
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Well, I got in to the music school for performance sooo....I can still play alot of pieces from memory. Chopin Scherzos and Etudes, Beethoven Sonatas (my favorite), Mozart Piano Concertos and Sonatas...my hands are nowhere what they used to be, but I can still manage. Once my three kids get a bit older (all under 5) I will have alot more time to practice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:29 PM Flag
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Thats great! I didnt get as far into it as you did, despite having had 8 years of lessons. I know all 3 movements of Beethovens Moonlight Sonata, and can play Chopin Waltz Op 18 (Grande Valse Brilliante) but now trying to get myself up there just for fun. Taking classes at Juilliard Evening Division, just tackled Chopin Nocturne op72/1. It is hard stuff!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.18, 02:30 AM Flag
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Considered one of the "state Ivies". Beautiful campus, incredible music program, great business school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:12 AM Flag
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Wait WHAT? Not true. Signed, Michigan alum [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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It was when I went. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 10:58 PM Flag
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It is a very easy to get into school. 78% acceptance rate. It is no state ivy like Penn or Binghamton which are much more competitive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:28 AM Flag
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You again? Penn is U of Penn, a real Ivy. Penn State is a state school. No such thing as a "state Ivy." You are an idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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No she is not. I knew what she meant. Penn = Penn State. UPenn= Univ of Penn. state Ivy= slang for the best state school, which is NY would be SUNY Binghamton (best SUNY). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:47 AM Flag
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np. Cornell University has a few state colleges. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:32 PM Flag
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It's a respected college. Not highly selective. Except for the Kelly School of Business, which has marketed itself as a top business school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:55 AM Flag
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There's this cool website for discussing Indiana at Bloomington. https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/indiana-university-bloomington/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 05:38 PM Flag
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