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[ - ] Any ideas for a gift for a six year old girl? Lives in a house (not in the city) so space not an issue. I’m still in toddler mode so appreciate the help with anything more for her age! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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Lol Surprise Dolls, crafts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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Lego friends set [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:58 PM Flag
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Ikea circus tent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:47 PM Flag
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Shrinks dinks, lite Brite, make lip gloss or slime, pearler beads [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 11:00 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 01:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Trying to figure out what to do re. health insurance options until DH's new job's insurance coverage kicks in. Cobra, for all 4 of us, would be over $2000/mo., which we really can't afford, so was thinking of just having DH be covered for $658/mo and figure something else out for me and dc's. Looking at the marketplace I can't find anything more affordable and we make too much to qualify for Family Health Plus. Or....thinking of waiting out the 60 day period to sign up for Cobra and only if one of us needs medical care then we sign up to get retroactive coverage. Just hate that it's so expensive and complicated! 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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Would not wait it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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op: I get the reasons why we shouldn't, but it makes me ill to think of coughing up over 2K a month and then none of us even needed to see a dr. Money is tight right now so this would really hurt us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:57 PM Flag
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Wait the 60 days. This feature is like a free option. You don't pay anything, if you need in it that 60 day period, THEN you pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:35 PM Flag
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^^^On a side note, I'm also disgusted by how high the premiums are for the new plan, along with the higher deductibles and then a coinsurance once you meet your deductible! I remember the days where we just paid a not-so-bad premium and had no deductible or coinsurance, and copays were around $20. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:53 PM Flag
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It’s depressing. I have “great” benefits because I work for a large health care lobby. Had a benefits fair today and everything is going up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:55 PM Flag
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How much time would you have to wait? We paid $1800 for Cobra for over a year, and when I looked at the ACA plans for when it ended, the bronze were so much cheaper than the Cobra. Since we have no health issues, there was no point in paying for the higher level of service. If we had a catastrophe, we would just deal with it when it happened. We saved thousands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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The new insurance plan will go into effect in early January. We have until December 30 to sign up for the Cobra plan. I could check the bronze plan on the marketplace and compare, although after DH looked at all the options online yesterday he didn't find anything more affordable (or at least, the deductible was insanely huge). The thing is we're in that unfortunate spot of making too much to qualify for something like Family Health Plus, but not enough to have money to spare each month for health coverage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:06 PM Flag
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Why would you care about the deductible for a few months worth of coverage? All you should be worried about is a catastrophic injury during that time. If you only have to wait until Jan, you can just suck it up and pay the 2K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:07 PM Flag
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I get you....I guess the point of this post is more bitching about how the cost of health insurance sucks, and especially so when we're not on an employer-sponsored program where the employer is at least covering part of the premium. Not to be dramatic, but these costs are a big part of what's keeping us from getting ahead financially. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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Yes, it really sucks for those of us that have to pay the full amount of our plans with not employer contributions or subsidies. You are very fortunate that your dh is getting another job where he gets this perk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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Op: it is a perk, although the employer is only paying $88.89 to our $332/week. Even that pre-tax payment makes enough of a dent in his weekly income and I’m venting about that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:27 PM Flag
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If the 2K for a few months is going to stop you from getting ahead, then chances are you make little enough so that you qualify for ACA subsidies. Check that out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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Op: the main reason why it would stop us from getting ahead is that we have debt we’re trying to pay off. We got a consolidation loan with a fixed monthly payment of $1167 plus we have a little credit card debt. Any added expense right now makes things very tight. And the last time I checked on subsidized health plans our hhi was over the limit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:23 PM Flag
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Kids - Child Health Plus. You can pay full price for it, income irrelevant. Go on market place, click "need financial aid" button and it will pop up. I make $500K and my kids are on it - beats any self-employed options, and it's really decent insurance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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Op: thanks! I was not aware of this. I will definitely check it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:27 PM Flag
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I thought they discontinued that in NYC when they introduced the ACA plans. Is it still available? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:42 PM Flag
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COBRA can be used retroactively no? Meaning don't pay anything in the interim period, if you wind up needing insurance because of an event then you can backpay for the COBRA. Find out the details but this is usually how it works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:29 PM Flag
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Op: this is what I was thinking of doing. Although in the event that something happens we will suddenly need to come up with a lot of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:31 PM Flag
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The alternative is that you're spending that money anyway to pay for unnecessary coverage. Just take what you'd be spending and keep it somewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:33 PM Flag
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If something happens that costs more than what you'd have to pay for COBRA, you will still be saving money. If you have a sudden $500 expense, you still make out better than if you'd paid for COBRA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:37 PM Flag
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ITA. I would sign up for COBRA only if you end up needing it retroactively. Just make sure you don't accidentally miss the deadline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:35 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:11 AM Flag
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remember you will pay a penalty for any time without coverage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:34 PM Flag
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I think there's a short gap exemption. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:40 PM Flag
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Have health insurance. If you must get the cheapest, only catastrophic care one but dont be without. And why dh gets it and not kids (who more likely to need it)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:45 PM Flag
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Op: dh has a blood clotting disorder and has a history of stroke, so he definitely needs it at all times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:54 PM Flag
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If anyone should be covered, it’s the kids, not dh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:50 PM Flag
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Op: see right above; he’s the one with an on going condition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:56 PM Flag
[ - ] 14 yo DD wants to work at Burger King. Has a friend who already does. We live in affluent town and most kids don't even work. I worked as soon as I was able. Happy that she wants to work and make money and I'd prefer she does something else. Paid internship, etc. She's insistent on this so she can work with her friend. I should let her, right, even though I'm being a snob about it being BK? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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Hi, mom! My first job was at McD's and my mother was mortified. It was fun, thoguh (and very educational about how the world really works). I say let her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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Mine too! I got fired for giving free food to friends though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:57 PM Flag
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oh goodness yet let her do it. She's not going to get much of a paid internship at 14, but working at BK isn't going to take over her life either so she can certainly do other things that are more substantive. FWIW, my overachiever kid who does a million impressive sounding extra curriculars had an absolute blast working as a dishwasher in a B&B this summer - I couldn't believe that she was so into washing dishes and hauling bags of trashed but she loved it and worked hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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Just what sort of paid internship do you think an overprivileged 14 year old deserves? Nothing wrong with hard work at a fast food place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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14 year olds can't work at McDonalds. 15 year olds can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Wrong. In NY they can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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^but hours are limited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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Well you sound just like my mom! Fwiw, both my sister and I could only work in cool boutiques, nothing really demanding. It killed our work ethic for a long time, like certain jobs were below us. I suggest you let her work there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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Let her do what she wants. Good learning experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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I had so many odd jobs beginning at 14 and learned so much. Let her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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I think the job would be good but I would dread the grease smell getting into everything, ugh. Can she work at a grocery store? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:06 PM Flag
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Well, she'll be wearing a uniform and as long as she washes it and herself, she should be fine. It's not like carpet or upholstery in your home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:44 PM Flag
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Oh for fuck's sake..who is going to give a 14 year old child a "paid internship"? You are so full of shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:27 PM Flag
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I know many successful people, I could call in a favor? I want my DD to realize she is BETTER than the people who work at Burger King. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:52 PM Flag
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Trolling, trolling, trolling down the river... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:08 PM Flag
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Angry much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 11:05 PM Flag
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I want both of my kids to work as waiters. They will eventually get the assets in their trust but learning how to do it is important [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:46 PM Flag
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Absolutely. It will do more for her ability to relate to people, her independence, and work ethics than any internship she can get at 14. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:38 PM Flag
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Absolutely. It will do more for her ability to relate to people, her independence, and work ethics than any internship she can get at 14. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Hailey Baldwin has dead eyes. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:32 PM Flag
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I dont see it. But I also find her to be the best looking (face/body) celeb at the moment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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Random acts of meanness? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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She has sad eyes, not dead eyes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:28 PM Flag
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So does her dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Any recs for hotels like the Mayflower Grace? Anywhere on east coast - an intimate, upscale hotel. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:31 PM Flag
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Isnt that hotel already on the east coast? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:34 PM Flag
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The Point is supposed to be nice but it's in the Adirondacks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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The Point or Lake Placid Lodge in Adirondacks, Twin Farms in VT, Hidden Pond in Maine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I just got my second juror questionnaire, after ignoring the first. Honestly, if I ignore this survey is there any consequence? its not a summons, just the questionnaire to see that you speak English, etc. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:28 PM Flag
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if you answer any they have you - the fine is like $2K - for me I would rather take the tiny chance that I would be fined than to willingly give up what amounts to more than that in income. Crazy that the jury are the only people in the room whose time is not valued, even the recorder is making $150 an hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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It is your duty and privilege to serve on a jury. WTF is wrong with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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duty maybe, but privilege? NFW - I would not be able to restrain my right to nullify any law I didn't like in any case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:56 PM Flag
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That's part of the privilege of serving, IMHO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:34 PM Flag
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then i am glad you do it, but you will not be sitting next to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:48 PM Flag
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My employer pays me for jury duty. I don't willingly give up anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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In my case, if I don't bill I don't get paid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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same. Freelancer. I was on jury duty last year, sitting in the room for three days before I was dismissed. You can't bring electronics into the Federal Courthouse, so I was up half the night trying to do the work I couldn't do during the day. Got a lot of crossword puzzles and reading done, but I don't get paid for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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I just can't do that - god forbid I get on an actual case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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NP. Same. Self employed. Can't use your phone. Other people were delighted at being paid by their job and getting the pittance through jury duty. When they let us go at 3 pm I raced to the office to do 8 hours of work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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screw that, and I would be seriously pissed if I got on a civil case to award the plaintiff money, after wasting my time they can go fuck themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:27 PM Flag
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And you're just the kind of person who shouldn't be making decisions for your peers. Good riddance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:56 PM Flag
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these are not my peers, most of this rabble is beneath me in every possible way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:57 PM Flag
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Exhibit A. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:24 PM Flag
[ - ] There is something very wrong with Donald Trump's non-stop defense of Saudi Arabia as "good guys" when they tortured and murdered a journalist. But it is telling that Trump has far more hatred toward Barack Obama (who he still claims is a lying Kenyan born illegal President) than he shows toward the country who just murdered a journalist. What is wrong with that man? And what is wrong with Americans who would vote for the party whose new mantra seems to be "we can be bought by the highest bidder and we'll lie to you, just like our leader"? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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Did anyone else do anything interesting today? I bought trash stickers at town hall so I can take a million things to the curb tomorrow, and I'm going to make chicken fajitas tonight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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Try using your brain, or is that too boring? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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I'd cancel those fajitas if I were you. You might get deported. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:05 PM Flag
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+1 chili ok if not too spicy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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he makes a lot of money personally off the Saudi royal family, so... there ya go! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:29 PM Flag
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This ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:43 PM Flag
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Simple. Iran is our ENEMY. Saudi is Iran's enemy. Therefore Saudi is our FRIEND. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 05:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone here stay in good shape without a lot of cardio that gets your heart rate up? I have been having a lot of hip/lower back pain when I run or spin. If I take it down a notch and swim and walk and combine with yoga for a couple of weeks it feels much better. I just worry that if I stick to this only for the long term I am going to get out of shape (plus it is much more time intensive). I also do some pilates/weights hybrid classes in an effort too strengthen my core and alleviate the back pain 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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swim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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I do. I like cardio for mental health but it doesnt ever change my body. pilates and barre and yoga are great for staying in shape [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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Swimming is the best exercise and you can continue to do it into your 90's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:15 PM Flag
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Op - how long should I swim for? I did 25 mins today but it didn't really feel like enough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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How fast? What type of stroke. (That's wonderful btw). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:23 PM Flag
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What is your swim workout? You need to mix it up...5 laps free style, 5 laps using a kickboard, 5 laps using the float thing that goes between your legs so you are only using your arms, repeat 5 times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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Staying in shape is more about diet than anything else. HIIT classes like bootcamp, tabata, etc. give you the best bang for your buck because they combine cardio and strength training. And then throw in some yoga or pilates on the side for toning/flexibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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OP - I am actually more concerned about being strong, keeping bone density as I age and having good cardiovascular fitness. I am usually thinner when I don't work out because I eat less and have less muscle but I don't feel healthy like that. What exactly is tabata, I don't belong to a fancy gym so have never come across that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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Tabata is a mix of HIIT and circuit training. Basically you do 5-6 circuits of the same set of hard exercises (or could do 3 circuits one set of exercises, and 3 of a different set). And the methodology is 20-30 seconds of high intensity exercise, 10 seconds of rest. And then you go right into the next exercise. There are actually tabata apps you can download and design your own exercise. I use to do it when I was on maternity leave and couldn't make it to gym while DB was napping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:30 PM Flag
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^ design your own workout, I mean. The exercises would be something like push ups, burpies, jump squats, mountain climbers, etc. Things like that. It gets your heart rate up really fast. Just 30 minutes and you're sweating buckets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:32 PM Flag
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I do. I walk most days and do yoga a few times a week. Mix in some pilates and occasionally a bootcamp/circuit style class. Fit and trim size 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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same here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:22 PM Flag
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You need to do more for core strength [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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This is happening with me too! I have been doing some weights, yoga and I play tennis. But I am changing my diet a little- to eat less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:30 PM Flag
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I had back pain, so I started pilates with a well regarded instructor. I slowly got leg pain which I later learned was sciatica from a herniated disc. The phys therapist said that the pilates reformer is the worst for back pain because as you try to use your core, you inadvertedt put pressure on your disks. So basically, pilates is not a good plan. My pain got so bad for most of a year that I considered surgery. After stopping pilates, I slowly healed but it took 6 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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Also, to strengthen core, improve posture and walk walk walk a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Pilates reformer, some of the higher-level classes are challenging and great for this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:53 PM Flag
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Be very careful if you have back pain. There are a lot of standard exercises in pilates and yoga that are bad for that as is running which puts lots of pressure on. Walking is good but not high intensity. Stair climbing is good (but not going downstairs as it is similar to running pressure on the disks). There are a number of physical therapy videos which will give you insight into what is okay and what is not. Take a look at this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZcfJfn32oQ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:58 PM Flag
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I'm 55. My diet is 90% of how I stay in shape. I walk 2-3 miles everyday and I do light weights for maybe 10 minutes a day. Easy. And I don't starve myself either. I do eat mostly healthy foods and small portions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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Genes. I'm almost 50 and have never been on a diet. Don't exercise, drink and smoke. Look piping hot naked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it possible that I have Postpartum thyroiditis? I went through IVF 6 times, back to back, and my TSH is 1.31. I have many of the symptoms: 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:46 PM Flag
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cont'd: fatigue, depression (now on 2 anti depressants), constipation (an almost all greens based diet resolved that), feeling cold (my extremities are cold to the touch, GP decided I have Raynauds), dry skin, weight gain (IVF Dr. said was water weight, haha), muscle weakness, pain and stiffness in joints, dry, thinning hair (I use Rogaine now), impaired memory, fertility difficulties (IVF 6 times and no baby), muscle stiffness, aches, and tenderness... If yes, how do I ask a new GP about this? My current GP doesn't think there's any reason to investigate further. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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I saw an endocrinologist. GP's just look at numbers in my experience. Endo's get to the root of the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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You sound just like me (minus the IVF)! My GP took a look at my tsh and said it was fine, no problems here. But I'm like a walking advert for hypothyroidism. So frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:28 PM Flag
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We may have the same GP :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:26 AM Flag
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Birth can dip your immunity and enable illnesses that your immune system was handling to take over. These are also Lyme symptoms but you need specialty labs to confirm (not Labcorp or quest) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:43 PM Flag
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Lyme is a possibility. I hike a ton, and backcountry camp too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:26 AM Flag
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You should rule it out. You have to go to a Lyme dr though because you need specialty labs for Lyme and coinfections so not just Lyme itself. Test for Lyme babesia anaplasma and ehrlichia with Igenex pcr ifa and fish and test for Bartonella with galaxy ePCR plus ifa. If you must you can try bioreference which is the only lab that might come up with at least something and a regular dr might order for you. But if it’s negative I would then test with the other labs. Labcorp is always negative. There are other strains like Rocky Mountain spotted fever, etc etc but not as common in NY if you are in fact in NY. The ones I gave are the most common in NY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 02:28 AM Flag
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And like your current symptoms most drs know nothing about Lyme and will brush off all symptoms. You need a Lyme dr - ask ilads.org. Do not go to an infectious disease dr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 02:30 AM Flag
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I’m in BC, canada hence the referral issue. Does that change the test type? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 04:59 AM Flag
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No because there are very few test options. They are specialty labs so not cheap by regular labs aren’t sensitive enough. You could try dna connections or armin labs in Germany but Igenex and galaxy are best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 10:46 AM Flag
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Igenex and galaxy are more sensitive so less likely to be false negative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 10:48 AM Flag
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You're amazing. Thank You! Why are you so interested in Lyme? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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submitted to ilads.org :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Because my son has it and it caused crazy neurological symptoms and it took a year to figure out the underlying issue. Then I got it after cancer surgery which dipped my immune system. We think the Lyme caused my cancer. And I’ve probabky had it for 20 years probably contracted sexually and perhaps gave it to my son congenitally. I caught mine fairly quickly after symptoms started (also terrible symptoms for me too like speech issues in my 40s) because I had just spent a year navigating this craziness with my son. If you have Lyme do not breast feed and your child probably has it from sharing blood et al while pregnant. In this case you should delay vaccinating your child and spread out the vaccines or at least get him or her tested for Lyme too because if the baby has Lyme they have a damaged immune system. (There is more to it explanation wise but that’s the heart of it). Canada has just acknowledged congenital Lyme. Also Lyme has been found in breast milk. I know I’m probably panicking you :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 02:50 PM Flag
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And I’m interested because I can’t believe that the medical community and the government (of all countries) have mismanaged this so horribly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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Also I think many Canada people come to the US. Some Lyme drs are better than others. Get on Lyme Facebook boards. Amazing information. Try beating Bartonella group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 02:54 PM Flag
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No advice, just want to say that sounds awful and I'm sorry for what you're going through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:15 PM Flag
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too kind, thank you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:26 AM Flag
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Appreciate all the great advice, thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:26 AM Flag
[ - ] My MIL is scoping out venues for my SIL’s wedding because mil wants a particular setting and time of year. Only thing is, SIL and her boyfriend just moved in together but are not engaged. My SIL seems to only care that her boyfriend gets her a specific ring setting and type. Oh boy. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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Sounds promising. Cant wait to hear about the bridesmaid dress she puts you in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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lol. And the multiple showers, bachelorette weekend, hairdo required. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Spray tan so everyone matches in pix [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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All tattoos must be covered up, no one but bride can wear heels, everyone else in flats to make bride look taller and thinner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Jeannie Rice just crushed my excuse for not running anymore at age almost 50. Shame on me. See - https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a23742988/70-year-old-woman-sets-marathon-record/ 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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Good for her bones! I'm a candidate for hip replacement after years of running. Miss it, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:14 PM Flag
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Can you go bare feet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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I got back into running at age 53. You can do it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:15 PM Flag
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OMG, you're incredible! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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ILY! 1 marathon down, 1 to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:08 PM Flag
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Running sucks for the joints! Do swimming instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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Wow, she beat my best time by a minute! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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How old were you when you did 3:31? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:22 PM Flag
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At what age? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Would love some reassurance for my kid. Dd, going into high school, has average of core classes as 92, and high 3s on tests. She thinks she won't get into any of the schools that require 90-100 because those will likely fill up with kids in either high 90s or that have 4 on tests. Anything I can tell her to reassure, or is she pretty much right? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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It really depends. Schools like Bard have their own exam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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she is def applying to Bard, but outside of that and SHSAT, she is really worried... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:17 PM Flag
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You think she will get into SHSs with those scores? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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not sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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Not happening. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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Not necessarily. The SHSat is not a very difficult test. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:01 PM Flag
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whoever said "not happening" - thanks for the vote of confidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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np: a friend's son had pretty bad grades and low 3s. Got no match from his list of 12. But he got into Tech and is happy there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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Wrong. Math, which has heavier weight, is rather hard for an average student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:22 PM Flag
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how long ago did your dc take the test? it has been more aligned to common core beginning last year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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They changed it. It’s easier now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 01:22 AM Flag
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And not heavier weight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 01:23 AM Flag
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She is right. What are your backups? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:15 PM Flag
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Are you in D2? TBH, it's the 3's that are more concerning...so many kids got 4's this year. But you should certainly put down schools like Millennium, Nest, Baruch and Lab (she won't get into Elro) but absolutely put some "safety" schools on that list as well -- schools like Museum, East Village Community, Manhattan Hunter Science, Frank McCourt, Essex St Academy, SOF. Also schools like Beacon and Bard that weigh their own tests/portfolios as well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:17 PM Flag
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^^and Harvest Collegiate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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thanks. Putting museum on as a safety, and probably man hunter science, but really not sure about McCourt, Essex and SOF. Out of those, which are "stronger" schools? I'm actually crying writing this... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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I think SOF out of those other three [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:10 PM Flag
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My kid goes to SOF. Obviously it's a wider range of abilities than ElRo, but it's an excellent school for a curious kid. The lack of Regents means they really learn to write and speak. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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yes, we are in 2. I hear that lots of kids got 4s... she didn't. She never gets 4s on these tests, and that's just our reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Also look into the iSchool, not district 2, but progressive. DF's kids love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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np: and ICE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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we hated it :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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She has a decent shot at Beacon if she's a good writer and can get points on the essays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:59 PM Flag
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she is a decent writer, and is writing her essays now, but really? I thought it was next to impossible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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In the past when they did their interviews, they were really looking to cherry pick...so there was no rhyme or reason to who they picked and it certainly as not the highest scores. If you read their rubric, it seems (and I've toured 3x so get this feeling as well) that they really want someone who displays passion, creativity, and curiosity. They want someone who is going to be there and be pat of their community. So if your dd takes art in any EC like a sport they have, or drama/theater, weave that into your essay about their passion. And try and have your dd come across as someone who takes advantage of all the opportunities available to her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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I think you can expect smth like 3rd or so choice for her, depending on what schools you put in, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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Clinton? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone remember the DH who posted on a Saturday morning 5 years ago that he caught his wife cheating by looking through her UB 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:09 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:12 PM Flag
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DH? is that you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:15 PM Flag
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No. How would he even know to do that? My DH doesn't know this board exists. If he did he would swear I would never be on a board like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:08 PM Flag
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sounds fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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Mah. I make confessions all the time on UB of stuff I never did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 05:01 PM Flag
[ - ] any natural deodorant users? what's your favorite? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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I find that no deodorant is better than a natural one. Natural ones make me smell worse than I would smell w no deodorant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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Ha, i'm opposite. That's what the regular brands did to me. Since switching over to natural, I only smell if I've just finished a workout. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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oh interesting. I guess everyones PH is diff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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I use Schmidts. Once I switched over, I found that my underarm odor is MUCH less, even on days that I don't use deodorant. The regular brands were actually making me smell worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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Schmidts in the container or stick? Does it make a difference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:07 PM Flag
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I use the stick. It can be a little abrasive, so I don't use it immediately after shaving under my arms. They have a sensitive skin formula now too that is smoother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:11 PM Flag
[ - ] so lots of Meghan and harry in news. Curious: what exactly are they doing when they travel around and meeting with folks? other than wave, hug, smile for cameras? What do they actually do? give money to organizations and support them? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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What does Ivanka Trump do? I know that Meghan and Harry do 1000x times more good than she does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:12 PM Flag
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was just really interested to know. they go on "tour" so what good things are they providing to people? I read Meghan baked people a bread today and that's doing good and sweet and all but...really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:16 PM Flag
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np: they help bring attention to important causes and promote the “commonwealth” identity. Other than that, not much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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I have no idea really, so take it with a grain of salt, but it seems that they visit charities they support, attend events for organizations they are involved with, and meet with dignitaries, take pictures with kids, etc. It's probably similar to the life of a socialite. Charity dinners, charity luncheons, auctions, fundraisers, ceremonies, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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This. And they open things, like community centres and hospital wings and whatnot. My friend worked in a hospital and the queen was coming to visit, and none of the old people would agree to go home, even though they should have, because they wanted to be there when she came through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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I wouldn't think too deeply about it. Generally these tours are done to promote good will from the royal family to the commonwealths. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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I'm in Melbourne and they are coming here today, apparently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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Apparently they are going to ride on a tram, visit a school, and have some kind of reception at government house, which is where the governor lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:30 PM Flag
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Maybe they give some money, but when they show up people will pay $$$ to see them. So the charities make money. That’s my guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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No... You don't have to pay to see them, but you do have to be invited. Unless you want to line the street an wave, for some reason, that would be free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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It's all PR. It's their job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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They create content for the media, which is good PR for the charities and for the UK. What don't you get - how is this different than a First Lady showing up at a library or whatever to promote literacy? And in the Royals case, they do 'walkabouts' too, which are similar to politicians campaigning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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well I guess a first lady is married to a president so people have an interest I suppose. not sure their children go on tour unless they are promoting an book or something. I guess I don't understand modern day royals- and what powers they have or don't have [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:06 PM Flag
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They are "figureheads" of the monarchy and are goodwill ambassadors for their nation. So think of them as large mascots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:18 PM Flag
[ - ] My 9 y/o DS has some form of ADHD which was finally "diagnosed" at school last year so he has an IEP in place, which is helping. But no matter what the consequence or incentive he can or will not stop answering back to teachers and being generally disruptive. It has gotten much better but he has no friends to speak of. Not one kid wants a playdate. It's out of my control but makes me so sad for him, and also resent him. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it improve with maturity? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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It will improve when you mature out of "resenting" your own DC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:14 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:14 PM Flag
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Why do you resent him? He's your child, your genes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Ignore these people. Your feelings are completely natural. Of course you have a mixture of sadness, concern and anger. Get a good therapist. It is very hard to deal with, and you will have to find a way to do best by him while also taking care of yourself. Having some resentment that you are being honest about doesn't make you a bad person; it makes you human. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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OP: thank you. I'm certainly not proud of it, but I worry about him constantly. It disrupts my sleep, my concentration, my work. Yet these are choices he's making: he is making the choice to be rude and disrespectful to his teacher, to not keep his hands to himself, to lie. By virtue that he has no friends, we haven't been able to get to know the other parents and therefore build friendships- some moms hold me responsible for his behavior and don't talk to me, or say unkind things behind our back. My husband and I are stressed and worried about him, and often argue. He has no friends so I never ever have a moment without him to have a short break (my DH works many weekends) or sometimes some time to myself. It's not about me but, yes, I resent him sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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You can’t make friends with other parents or have a minute to yourself. It’s not about you. Sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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OP: this is not all about me. But I'm getting flamed for admitting that one of my many emotions is resentment. So if you don't want to actually respond to my question "has anyone else experienced this and does it improved with maturity" then why snark. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:07 PM Flag
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If he legitimately has ADHD, the choices are not totally in his control. Would you resent him for having diabetes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:58 PM Flag
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OP: agreed, good point. And you're right- I would not resent him for having diabetes. Unfortunately teachers and parents of classmates don't really see it that way. Back to my question: have you experienced this? Does it improve with maturity? Not sure if he "legitimately" has ADHD, his pediatrician has never seen it. This came out in an assessment by the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:13 PM Flag
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+1 He has limited control over his impulses. I'm sure he knows it's wrong and feels bad, but cannot help in the moment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:39 PM Flag
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Totally normal for you to feel this. Is he getting therapy? Is he on medication? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. Somehow we're focusing on my feelings. My question was: has anyone else experienced this and does it improve for him with maturity? We're starting with a therapist now. We went to one when he was younger (4) and she seemed to not be a good fit (she actually was overextended with patients) so we literally had our first appointment with someone new two weeks ago, starting with just DH and I. He's not on medication. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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Is he on meds? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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Schools can not diagnose adhd. Go to a developmental ped and get a diagnosis and meds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:05 PM Flag
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If you, his own mother resents him, how do other kids and parents feel. Your feelings are normal but Medicare so he can control himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:13 PM Flag
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OP: meds stop a kid from being disrespectful to teachers? that seems to be the biggest problem he's having, the IEP breaks have helped a lot with the other issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:14 PM Flag
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I'm confused. why is diagnosed in quotation marks? He wasn't diagnosed with ADHD? Or he was? He is choosing to have ADHD? What are you actually saying here? You seem to think your 9 year old child is some behavioral deviant who can't control himself, but don't want to accept his diagnosis for a disease which, among other things, makes it very hard to self-control behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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OP: the school's assessment is that his behavior reflects possible ADHD, which is why it's in quotes. It's not an actual diagnosis. His pediatrician thinks he's fine. The therapist I've scheduled an appointment won't bee seeing him until the 29th. I'm not sure it's to act out. Could it be for attention? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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NP: you mention that you resent him. If he's acting out rather than actually ill, maybe it has more to do with your treatment of him. I think you both need to be 'evaluated'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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I wonder how he feels about his behavior and your reaction to it. If he has been diagnosed (unclear from your post), then it certainly isn't under his control. If you believe he is making these choices to act out, why do you think he is making those choices? What does he gain from it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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OP: the school's assessment is that his behavior reflects possible ADHD, which is why it's in quotes. His pediatrician thinks he's fine. The therapist I've scheduled an appointment won't bee seeing him until the 29th. I'm not sure it's to act out. Could it be for attention? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:26 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. I'm sure it's rough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, more because I just don't know what to do or how to help him. Or how to respond to the teacher's updates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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Things sound very tough now, but good that he's getting therapy. Hopefully that will help him with impulse control and might help you worry a bit less. Consider hiring a babysitter who can do an activity with your son for 2-3 hours. He will have fun and you'll get a break. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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OP: I'm optimistic. Things are getting worse in the classroom. I need to look into a babysitter, we haven't had luck in the past. Therapy is a slow process but I'm hopeful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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No friends is one of the standards we have for when we would medicate and 10 ur old. That and low self esteem or not doing well in school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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OP: who is "we"? He's doing well in school academically. It's the behavior issues which is a problem, which then flows into how he interacts with the other kids. I'm not sure how much that impacts his self esteem, he seems happy enough at home but it might also be a kind of denial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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We being dh and I. In your situation, I would do therapy or meds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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He went grow into social skills if kid doesnt have friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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I know how you feel. I have the same issues with DD. She is 7 and hasn't been invited to a birthday party in over a year. Kids don't like her because she wont share and acts like a child. I get bad reports of behavior from her school and I feel like the world is shitting on me. Someone said last week that think of it is something that is happening to them too and try to have some empathy. It really sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:32 PM Flag
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OP: this is EXACTLY our situation. He has a hard time sharing, is immature (more so than the kids his age), bad behavior reports and his disrespect makes the teacher dislike him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:46 PM Flag
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It's normal for them to be immature. Try getting some Executive Functioning coaching and/or an after school social group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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Time to try meds. Do not let his self esteem suffer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:12 AM Flag
[ - ] DC enjoys volleyball. Any recommendations for the day and sleep-away volleyball summer camps? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.17.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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We're in Forte Greene, Brooklyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:03 PM Flag
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What age? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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13 y.o., currently in 7th [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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Volleyball camp? For real? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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Kids play ball where you're? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:09 PM Flag
[ - ] A woman at my work smelled funky today. I had to sit near her. I feel disgusted and irrationally enraged by this. Normal response or too much? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:43 PM Flag
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Enraged...calm down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:45 PM Flag
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I felt like I was going to vomit. Don’t go out in public if you can’t be bothered to wash yourself. No one wants to smell it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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I guess it just feels like you're making it about you. Sure, she has hygiene problems. And probably a lot of problems. Move your seat for the day. Find a conference room. The way you're being enraged is kind of cruel behavior. Clearly the woman has some serious issues. Be a bit kinder. If it's an ongoing problem, gently let HR know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:52 PM Flag
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She has "serious issues"?? Sh probably just forgot to put on deodorant and overdressed for the day. It happens. Op is nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:53 PM Flag
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Well, I guess the way OP described it, it felt like coworker hadn't showered in two weeks and was wearing mismatching clothes or something. You think it was just a bad scent of perfume? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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Doubt it. Some people smell if they forget anti-perspirant, even if they shower. This is me, and I've noticed it on others where I work as well. It's so far from a big deal, I can't even imagine OP "going to vomit" or whatever. You delicate women! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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^And if I wear a recently-dry-cleaned silk shirt, forget it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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theres a huge difference between a "fresh" body odor smell that occurs on the same day you have showered compared to days/weeks of bad hygiene and wearing dirty smelly clothes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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not really. IF I skip the deodorant, I reek. And how the F are you such a connoisseur of BO varieties? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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haha just from observing. like if you go to a wedding and people are dancing and getting sweaty but you know they all showered before, the smell is a specific kind of smell. But then if you are near someone who has chronic bad hygiene, and clothes that arent perfectly clean, the smell is so so so much worse than the first scenario [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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haha, it's not true though. Some of us were blessed with strong BO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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so a few hours after showering you may have terrible smell? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:55 PM Flag
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I agree. I am very sensitive to smells. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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Too much. That's how people smell, and it's never bothered me--artificial scents are more disgusting, IMO. You should question why you're so repressed as to demand that other people match your values and honor your sensitivities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:52 PM Flag
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NP: I'll be more frank with OP: body odor can be cured (either medically or with hygiene), but you can't cure personality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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Where do you work that people can get away with body odor? I mean, I work in psychiatry so I have to tolerate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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Too much. I understand not wanting to be around an offensive smell, but "irrationally enraged" is not a normal response to much of anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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Are you by any chance in peri menopause? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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or pregnant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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I worked with a woman who smelled horrible. She wasn't dirty per se but was on some kind of diet that I think affected her 'scent'. It got to the point where other coworkers and I had to say something to hr because it was like you had to choke back vomit when around her. Normally I think HR is a pretty easy gig but I can't imagine how you bring up bo & hygiene with an adult who does her job well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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Not sure where the "rage" comes from- how can you be sure she even knows it? I've been using Dr Hauschka deodorant lately but secretly wonder if I stink to the outside world. I'd have no idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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I think for one day you will be fine. I would have more of an issue if someone smelly would be sitting next to me every day. I worked at an office where one of the women didn't believe in deodorant and also liked cheapo polyester dresses, which she didn't wash frequently - a truly bad combination. I was fortunate to not sit next to her, but every time I passed by her in a bathroom or a lunch room, I wanted to gag. I could not survive being in her immediate vicinity all day. I don't know honestly what to do in this situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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Put some vicks under your nose. It'll help. (cheesemonger mom). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:20 PM Flag
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I smell like mildew [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:21 PM Flag
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Were you on the bus yesterday? Lady had a moldy smell but I assumed it was her raincoat. Plus she didn't brush her teeth. Oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:28 PM Flag
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How on earth would you know whether someone brushed their teeth? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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on a bus? You're literally nearly face to face in a crowded one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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You or your clothes? I feel like my clothes smell moldy sometimes too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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Depends on what the smell was. I work with a woman who occasionally smells fishy and it drives me bananas that she doesn't notice this. It's gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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I am very sensitive to smell so I get it. when people smell really bad for any reason it really hits me at my core! I cant help the reaction [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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Normal. I hate dirty oily hair smell the worst. Wash your hair people! Yes, we can smell it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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yes same!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Any of you has a kid who is like an absent-minded professor type? How did you address this? I have a kid who is very smart and things come easy, but is a bit reckless doing work, not paying attention all the time and also a bit lazy to practice and has attitude. DC coasts by and often does well enough because of it comes easily, but will never reach potential or be a top student this way. Should I suspect ADHD and get evaluation or it's totally normal for a kid of age 9 to space out? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:38 PM Flag
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We are in district G&T, so it's a bit more HW and kids are pretty competitive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:39 PM Flag
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My dd is like that. I suspect she has ADHD but never had her tested because it is not hindering her school performance at this point. If it started affecting her self esteem or she began failing, I would consider having her tested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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Yes, my ds is exactly like this. I've been on the fence about testing him for years. He is doing well in school, so we wouldn't qualify for any services anyway. Just hoping he grows out of it I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:09 PM Flag
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My DC is doing well enough, not at the bottom of the barrel yet, in the middle of his G&T class and sometimes gets high scores too. It's just I noticed that it's sliding and being at the bottom of the barrel is becoming more realistic as time goes by. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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Me! I thought for sure she had adhd, but it was actually anxiety and depression. We have that under control now, but she's still like an absent minded professor. Such a perfect description. Her desk is a mess at school, she's always forgetting folders and books that she needs to do homework, her room is a mess, her book bag is a mess. But she's smart, very creative and not at all bothered by the messiness around her. Let me know if you figure out the magic solution! The only thing that has helped with the school stuff is making a checklist to tape on her desk and another to tape by the back door at home. Reminds her to check for all of the things she needs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:12 PM Flag
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Thank you for the checklist idea! I am now worried my DC might be the same, although no obvious anxiety/depression signs yet. But I have this going in the family, so genetically it's possible :( I have terrible anxiety myself an so does my mother. None of this with DH, so maybe there is hope this terrible disease passed him by? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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If you think there is a risk factor, it is worth checking. It is very manageable for my DD now, but we got early intervention and changed the way we parent. I'm happy to say that she is 1000% better than she was a few years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:22 PM Flag
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^^I should add that my DD showed a lot of signs of both anxiety and depression. She was very sad, irritable, low self esteem and generally just unhappy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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I see. DC is different, he is more aggressive, can show some anger when tired or hungry, just more angry than sulking and depressed I guess. Also can be defensive and talk back. Maybe boys have different symptoms. Self esteem seems to be ok, as DC tends to think he is awesome and smart, event though he is clearly an average student among his peers even if the peers are screened G&T kids and have tiger parents. Any recommendation is appreciated! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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The anger can be the anxiety and depression. Kids don't always show it via sadness, but often lash out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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How did you change the way you parent? Any specific book or approach you would recommend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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I stopped trying to "talk her out" of being sad, angry, frustrated, upset, etc. Instead I acknowledge what she is feeling (even when I don't necessarily agree) and we talk through options and solutions. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk helped me a LOT. She feels like I listen a lot more now (because I do) and I feel much more in control, even when the behavior in my house feels out of control. It has helped me with all of my kids, but especially with this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 09:07 PM Flag
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Does your dc want to be more organized or not? If not, then there isn't a lot you can do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:14 PM Flag
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I don't think so, DH is very messy, I became like this too over the years living with him. There is clutter everywhere, maybe this also negatively affects DC. I do make an effort to have all school stuff organized and keep a good system though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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Top potential? When I was a kid no one cared. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:21 PM Flag
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I get it, but when you see your kid sliding down you have naturally some concern. If he were consistent at least I would not worry much. The school is competitive, so naturally many parents push their kids harder and many kids are high performing and also ambitious. DC used to be pretty ambitious and caring where he stands as well. Now less so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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Kids still shouldn't be competitive. I think it ruins their self esteem (and sorry if this inflames those who say 'self esteem' pish posh). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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It's sort of hard when the vibe of the program is very competitive, as it often the case with selective schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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You and the poster above are describing ADHD symptoms to a T. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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Which ones, can you list the red flag symptoms? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 07:58 PM Flag
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Who me? With the equally absent minded daughter? We had her tested and it isn't adhd. She can focus quite well on tasks that interest her, but school work isn't one of them. She was diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with anxiety and major depressive disorder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:23 PM Flag
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^^sorry, this was meant in response to me describing adhd symptoms to a T. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:23 PM Flag
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depression and anxiety can be byproducts of ADHD, when the kid feels bad/shamed about his/her behaviors and it impacts his/her mood. The inattention to detail. messiness, focus only on things of interest, impulsivensss, classic ADHD. Checklists are a great idea. Also, setting alarms for home work, one directive at a time, etc. Meds can be helpful too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 10:56 PM Flag
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I've said twice that my DD was tested by a nueropsycologist and was not diagnosed with ADHD and meds were not recommended. Why are you so insistent that she has ADHD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:13 AM Flag
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I think I have ADHD and this fuels my anxiety/depression, it just got worse with age and motherhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:37 AM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:07 PM Flag
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yes, my ds was like this all through school... turns out he is very creative, works in brand imaging and plays bass guitar in a band for fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.17.18, 08:03 PM Flag
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Read "Smart but Scattered." My daughter is like this. We are putting things in place to help her with building executive functioning skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.18.18, 12:28 PM Flag
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