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[ - ] S/O on the PT conference comment post. How positive is your DC's teacher about your child? DC is in 5th grade and it's always rah rah she's doing great, brilliant, etc. I can't tell if the teacher is not allowed to provide negative feedback. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Rule is say positive. Say negative. Say positive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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That's how we did it in my sorority. It's the only good thing I've taken from that ridiculous organization. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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the "compliment sandwich" LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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yep, I've heard it called a "sugar sandwich" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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YES! And sometimes the positives were so painful. "Um...she didn't steal anything from me..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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Depends on the teacher and depends on the school. DD's 1st grade teacher spent the entire conference shaking her head sadly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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Awwwww [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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I had two who told me my chikd was not normal and “dx” him and suggested full workup at NYU — dc was perfectly fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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PR - ah, memories!! She used to schedule "ambushes" in which she would "invite" us in to talk and the HOS and school psychiatrist were also there! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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My experience was public school - and I knew to ask who was attending in advance. HINT HINT other moms. Always ask [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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They bring up the positive but I make it clear each time I go into a conference that I want all the specs, and they are honest (Catholic school). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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There have been years where my positives have been less than enthusiastic, so the positivity may be real. You can always ask for things she needs to improve on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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If the teacher is giving specific examples its truth. If it's rah rah and that's it, probably has no idea what's happening with your kid- unless they are doing super badly and ruining test scores [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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Mine were always the same (you'd think my kids were perfect) until high school. That's when I started hearing about problems with time management, meeting deadlines, and study habits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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Why assume any negative feedback? What do you think is something negative about your kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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My daughter had an amazing 2nd grade teacher and I guarantee, every kid thought they were the teacher's "Favorite." Such an amazing educator! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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In elementary, every kid is at the top of the class. This is yet another reason why that OP shouldn't tell her son what her teacher said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:47 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you handle this, in general: we were planning to go out to our place on Long Island just because another friend is there this weekend, so we'd be heading out to spend time with them. Today she told me they're available on one of the weekend days from 3pm until dinner. From my perspective, it's great to see them, but seems silly to travel out there just for that amount of time. How do you handle, what do you say? Thanks 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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Just say your plans have changed and you won't make it out there this weekend. It's probably not a big deal since it seems like they have a lot of other plans. But what were you expecting? To spend two full days together? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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OP: makes sense, you're right. No- definitely not expecting two days. Normally we spend one day together, so 12:30 thru dinner-ish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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sounds like they have plans with other people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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OP: they definitely do, I knew that. THey have family in town so are seeing the sights nearby- I knew this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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well there you go, I probably wouldn't go, it sounds like they are squeezing your in anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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what part of long island? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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They are probably going to the parade. Did they tell you about that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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OP: which parade? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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montauk. Are you near there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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OP: nope, Westhampton Beach. Is the parade on Saturday? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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....I just looked: it's on Saturday. I'm guessing = crowds and traffic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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no sunday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:53 PM Flag
[ - ] How much does your 2 year old talk? My DD just turned 2. She has about 50 words...a few phrases like "more please" or "up please" but beyond that not much. I hear other kids talking much more. Her bff wakes up and asks for yogurt, to go outside, go to the coffee shop for a treat etc. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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So get her evaluated for speech therapy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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There is a huge variance of language development at this age. Yours is fine. You can model a complete sentence for her. I had some non-verbal 2yo's in my classes and by the time they were 3 they were exactly on par with their more chatty classmates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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Thanks it's so hard to tell what's "normal" at this age. I know she understands me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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When my son was that age there was huge pressure and discussion about the fact that he wasn't speaking yet. I remember being stressed. But, in the end, he started when he was ready- and now he's a mad talker. Don't worry yet. The next time you have a regular peds appointment, maybe ask what your doctor thinks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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Sounds like me: our DD waited until a month or so after turning 2, and then never shut up. As long as there's nothing wrong with her hearing, enjoy the silence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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My two year old was at about 40 words, and we had her evaluated for a speech delay. She’s been in twice a week speech therapy since January and has made a ton of improvement. There’s no harm in getting an evaluation - I’m so glad we did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
[ - ] If your DC's teacher tells you at PT conference that your DC is the top kid in the class, would you convey this info to your DC or just keep it to yourself? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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What grade? Find it hard to believe a teacher would say that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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3rd grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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Haha :) I was going to say the opposite. I the past few weeks, I have heard this from my office mate (re: his kindergartner), my brother (re: my 2nd grade nephew), and my SIL (re: my 5th grade niece). All at different schools in different districts. Starting to think this is just a thing teachers say... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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The teacher is very effusive about DC, and says stuff unprompted. The reason I'm considering telling DC is because it would make him very happy. He puts a lot of pressure on himself and always worries if he is doing well enough at school, so I want to alleviate some of that stress for him, but I'm not sure if telling him will make it better or worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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np: I was told to praise how hard a kid is working vs. how great their grades were. Sometimes grades will become a harder thing and then they get down on themselves. But hard work and perseverance is important when things get rougher. I personally would not talk about this. I would just say that their teacher is happy with their progress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Great advice. Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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THIS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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Grade matters [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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Holy cow- no QUESTION. I would never tell my DC. The biggest problem kids have when they're told how smart they are is then realizing they have to continue working. Also when they're told how wonderful they are, there's a lot of pressure not to fail [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Hmmm, you are right. I will not tell him. Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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OR: I think this is the right way to go. My DS is very smart. He's shown this his whole life. When people comment to him (in front of me) how "smart" he is, I almost immediately interrupt and say, "thank you- smart is great, but not much comes of it without hard work, I've found." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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^^^ I would comment to your DS that you met with the teacher and you're proud to hear how hard he's working and how well he's applying himself to learn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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I say this to my DH, too. He is constantly grinning about how "smart" our Kindergarten DC is. Sure, he is very bright. But I just don't think it is useful to think that way and focus on it. Focus instead on the teacher saying how hard he works, what a good listener he is, how creative he is, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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Agreed! Focus on the work effort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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amen. DH said he found out he had a genius IQ and basically stopped trying hard for years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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I would just say "your teacher is so happy that you're doing so well for her" and leave it at that. Kids can get weirdly attached to things like rankings, they don't have the experience to put them into proper perspective and hang on to them as having some kind of permanence. Think about what happens when as a child someone tells you that you remind them of X celebrity. That celebrity takes up permanent residence in your head just because someone said it once, and it changed how you saw yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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NO: not "for her"... (for him!)--- kids need to take ownership, otherwise they have the impression that they're achieving these things for other people (their parents, their teachers, etc) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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I would keep it to myself. You would be developing an inflated ego into a 8 year old. You can say- Your teacher said you are working so hard in the class and are doing great! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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When my DD was in preschool, the teacher maintained a communication notebook for each child, and would use them to provide a running commentary on the child's progress throughout the year. One day at pickup, a mom gloated how the teacher said her kid was "top of the class" (whatever that means for preschool). People started comparing notes, and it turns out a bunch of them had ALL been told the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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No no no. I think it's fine to pass on compliments about their work/attitude etc, but nothing that compares them to other kids there is just no good outcome to that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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Agreed. It is unlikely that the same child will be the top performer every year. Why manufacture pressure for them to sustain this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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disagree on this. at my DCs ES the same 2-3 kids always at top. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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Plus. My DC went to a school that actually posted GPA and rank in classroom. Created such issues (for both those at top and those not). BTW - we left the school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Any moms who work full-time and still cook dinner every night (or most nights)? How the hell do you do it? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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I do. I'm at work by 7 am and home by 5:30. I've been cooking for years though and have fine-tuned methods for getting food on the table. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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home by 5:30 means you dont have to fine-tune anything. lmao. also do you work a block from home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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Me, not every night but many. All depends on if shopping done. Usually home by 6, make dinners that take 1/2 hour or so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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Two for one. For example, lasagna on Sunday and leftover lasagna on Tuesday. Roast chicken on Saturday and leftover roast chicken on Monday. Crock pot roast beef on Wednesday and leftover roast beef on Thursday. Friday takeout [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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Do you have a recipe for the roast beef? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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I put potatoes, onions and carrots on the bottom. Bunk of meat on top. Add some water. Cook on low for 12 hours. You can buy a seasoning packet at any grocery store if you want more flavor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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My pleasure. I also cook corned beef and pork bbq in crock pot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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I don’t peel potatoes or carrots. Quarter or halve onions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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DH works full-time and is the cook in our house. He makes something Sunday night we can eat for a night or two (chili, quiche) and then during the week we eat a lot of simple things like burger and salad, roast chicken from the store and salad, rice bowl with salmon, frozen pizza and salad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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I cook while son sits at table and does homework. It works for us. Not super complicated. Last night I put fish with capers and lemon in the oven, then sautéed some spinach and garlic, and sliced a baguette. Quick and delicious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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That's me! I lean on Plated quite a bit. I also start early but can get home by 6:30 or so to start, which is a huge help. I also double recipes whenever possible so we have leftovers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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I cook every night, but some nights a component in the dinner is partially from a "shortcut" food-- like pasta sauce from a jar, or something from the Frozen section. Quick things include stir fry+ rice, fish and roasted veggies, burgers, breakfast for dinner (eggs, mostly), Mac and cheese (I make from scratch in a quick way), and a crock pot meal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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I do. I start work at 6 am so I can be home by around 4 each day. I love cooking, and I have a ton of easy recipes that I can have on the table quickly. I’m a careful planner, so I always have exactly what I need on hand. Once a week I have a cheat day where I incorporate something like Trader Joe’s precooked carnitas is fresh tamales. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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I've committed to cooking every night this week and I actually did it. It was hell. I don't know if I can keep this up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:25 PM Flag
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I make enough for every dinner for it to last for two nights. So one night is cooking, the next is just throwing the leftovers on the table. And the pattern keeps on going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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PRactice, good cook books (rachel ray or Use it Up cookbook) and make doubles and freeze [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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I am one of the kids who started working 2 full time jobs at 13 every summer. (yes 7-2pm at one restaurant and 4-10 at another my entire life) and one of the benefits of that is that I am a great cook. I spent thousands of hours in restaurants and I find cooking so easy. I can put a filet of sole with rice and veg together in 15 minutes start to finish. I never would have had this skill had I not worked in restaurants [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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See I think that everyone should work in a restaurant. Either as a line cook or a server. Important perspectives and life skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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So this. I worked as a waitress in HS and college. Taught me how to multi-task. Also shows there are kind people and aholes everywhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:52 PM Flag
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op-I waitressed full time when I was 14. I did it through college and even after bf i got a 'real job', I learned more from waitressing, I liked it more actually than my real job, and it was priceless in terms of life skills. Too bad it gets no resect or I would probably be doing it now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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++ The fact I said waitress and not server probably dates me. I also loved it. Fast paced, and I was good so made great tips. Also got to eat for free, meet lots of people. But would be hard to do for 40 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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I work 9-5, my commute is 20 minutes, and I enjoy cooking and view it as a way to unwind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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its not the cooking. that can be meditative. its the pots & pans. who th F wants to scrub a pot after a long day. hate it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone use Skinceuticals CE Ferulic? Is it really that good? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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I've been using it for about a year now, and I like it a lot. I use it in the morning under moisturizer and an SPF, and I think it's definitely improved my skin as far as less break outs (hormonal) and protection from sun when used with their SPF. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:53 PM Flag
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OP - What about sun spots (if you have any)? Mine became much darker with my pregnancies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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I do, unfortunately. I also use the Skinceuticals Metacell Renewal B3, over the CE Ferulic. I've noticed a huge lightening of my sun spots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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OP- Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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It’s great, albeit super expensive. Drunk Elephant has a vitamin c that’s pretty good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Isn’t L’Oréal suing a Drunk elephant for patent infringement over their vitamin c? So in other words...it’s a very similar cheaper version? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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I have excellent skin thanks to genetics, so I don't use these expensive products. I do read about them, however. This is a product that has many much less expensive dupes. Google for the lengthy list and reviews. You would be foolish to shell out that kind of money for "hope in a bottle." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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Glad for you that you have great skin, but many of us don't. Definitely do your research before buying expensive products, but deciding to do so (if you can afford it) isn't "foolish" if works. That's not hope in a bottle, that's actual results. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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Hi Skinceuticsls PR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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I believe the ordinary and timeless have good dupes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:50 PM Flag
[ - ] I was reading the NYT article: How Not to Be a Snowplow Parent and while I agree with it on a lot of levels I kind of feel that DC do need a bit of help navigating certain things like college admissions. At first they gave an example of the mom who had the child in musical theatre. That is all very complicated and competitive as are many other things. Growing up my parents never helped me with anything. It wasn't because they were bad parents they just weren't engaged. In hindsight I would have liked a little more support. I think I missed out on a lot of opportunities because of this. I think there needs to be a balance but this article goes too far. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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I agree...my parents stayed out of my life, and at times I wish they had helped a bit. I try to let my kids make mistakes which I feel is a valuable lesson as well. But the competitiveness of life is such I feel I need to insert myself into their applications (letting them make their choices with discussion). It's complicated for sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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As a counterpoint, here is another NYT article (let no one say they don't represent all sides! I kid...) https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/07/opinion/helicopter-parents-economy.html [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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OR - btw, I totally agree that there is a balance. Teach your kids to manage their own schedules, be accountable for their work, be resilient after failures (by letting them fail). But, no child should be expected to navigate life-determining choices (high school, college, etc.), or learn critical life lessons, without their parents supporting them to some extent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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I agree--I think your job as a parent as kids get older becomes more of a coach and less of a hands-on manager, so to speak. My college and grad school kids still call me for advice, or just to talk things out, and I think that's perfectly acceptable. I get so tired of posters on this board shouting "land the helicopter" every time a parent posts a question about their young adult DC. You don't stop being a parent as they get older; your relationship just changes somewhat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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Oh good-firing up the chopper! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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I graduated from college in the mid 90s. My parents were very clear that I was now an adult and it was all on me; finding a city to live in, finding a job and finding an apartment. For the most part all ties were cut at that time. They explicitly let me know that they were done supporting me financially and emotionally. Me not having a clue decided to go to law school. I still struggled after getting the law degree (1st tier, bottom 50% - it happens). I experienced unemployment, depression and almost got evicted because I had no money to pay rent (that was the ONE time my parents decided to help - begrudgingly). Every step of the way my parents let me know where I was falling short and fucking up. It was horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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I think some people, like you, need a little extra support figuring out what to do. I think the actual number of DC are motivated and have no doubts as to their calling but the other 90% of us need a little help while being nudged to independence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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I had no help at all. Father died when I was 5. Mother died when I was 22. I went to college and med school on scholarships and mostly loans. Child of immigrants. Mother didn’t speak English well, I wrote the checks for bills since I was 9 yrs old. Siblings all had to cook, clean, do laundry. Made my own dentist appts since 2nd grade. Walked to school or took a bus. Moved many times. No other relatives for support. Never questioned it. My own kids lives were very privileged but they have my values for education and hard work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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Wow! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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I cant imagine a 7 year old scheduling dentist appointments when they still believe in santa. you have a strong work ethic, but at great cost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:51 PM Flag
[ - ] How often do you speak with your parents on the phone (assuming they live far away)? Who calls - you or them? I read a story about a guy in his 30s whose dad called him every day from abroad, right when he came back from work and before he had dinner. It broke my heart - I used to call my mom every day, but since she did something mean to me I stopped. I am doing some sort of trial where I wait to see how often she would call me if I don’t call her. Result - at most once every 2 weeks. Oh wow.... 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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A few weeks can pass between calls, depending. We do text and e-mail frequently though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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When my mom was alive, I called once or twice a week. (Dad died when I was in college and she never remarried.) I miss Mom. Don't do trials. Just call her. It may change the whole dynamic, and you never know how long you'll have her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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I understand you completely but it’s like she doesn’t even care. I am always the one reaching out. I wish someone could care about me for once... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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How old is she? My mom was older (had me at 39) and she was the same way, but she didn't call because she didn't want to "bother" me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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71 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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That's not so old. I know it's hard, but I'd try calling her once a week. I don't know how mean she was to you, but the mother-child bond can be pretty strong and it would be a shame to nurse old hurts and sacrifice time with her. My mom and I butted heads, but we had a pretty good relationship overall, and I miss her so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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First OR above: my mom says something similar: "I know you're really busy and didn't want to catch you in the middle of something." That's why we've settled into frequent text and e-mail communications. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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One a week or every other week I'll call my dad, we text a couple times per week though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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My mom: several times a week. Dad: every few months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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You can up your calls esp. as she gets older. I barely call my kids and they are in their early 20's. We all live in NYC and they are busy as am I. But we do regroup from time to time. My dh called his mom every single day. Whew! That was a lot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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When my parents were alive, I always made the call. They never called me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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My dad is 88 and lives in another state, I call him every evening at almost the same hour, we speak briefly, mostly about the weather (lol) but it makes him happy, if don't call he worries, once in a while he calls me, least I can do as I don't really know how long he will be around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Mom was everyday and dad almost never. Since she died I call him every few days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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What did she do to you? Nosy but want to know how severe it was to gauge your reaction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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It’s not really about that but the fact that if I don’t call, she never does... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] My 2 year old DD threw a fit when I dropped her off at daycare this morning. Before we left the apartment, she started saying she was sick and that she was going to "puke". No temperature so we took her. Teacher called and let us know she was totally fine after we left. But the teacher did mention that she has been more emotional and crying more lately. Should I be worried about something like this? Isn't it normal for 2 year olds to have phases like this? (She's normally very easy going, happy and independent.) 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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PreK teacher here--it sounds normal tbh. How long a day is it for her and what is she like at pick up? Does she nap at home or at the school? Kids go through stages so likely it's fine. Just keep open communication with your center. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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OP - Thanks. She has a long day, typically 7:15 am to 5:15pm. She naps at daycare - 1.5 to 2 hours. She's happy when I pick her up. For a while, she didn't even want to leave but now she's more excited to see me and go home. DH very rarely does drop-off with me, but was working from home today. So that could be it. She was also still awake when I got home at 9:30 last night (DH watching her), so she could've just been really tired. But I felt bad when teacher said she's been unhappy lately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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My 3-year-old had BAD separation anxiety for six months. It was the longest six months of my life. But then she was fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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OP - So hard to leave them like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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It was torture. I rode the subway to work in tears. GL, this too shall pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:36 PM Flag
[ - ] UB is overly fixated on schools but no one every, hardly at all discusses DC getting jobs or entering the workforce. Is this the point where we throw in the towel. Is it too painful to dive in after all this trouble and millions of dollars in tuition later to sit with the realization that DC wants to be a bartender? 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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Wow. Your job as a parent is over. They leave for college, you are no longer part of decision making process [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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Millions of dollars? Not in my world. But as OR said, it's out job to help get them through school, rest is up to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Hmm, do 22-year-olds really know how to search and network for employment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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Omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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I do a job that is not ordinary and I have an Ivy degree. I don't think I wasted any time or money getting it. I still am an educated member of society and vote and have held several jobs in my life--teacher, office admin and now food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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Obviously my example of spending money on tuition was off the subject. I'm just wondering why nobody ever discusses job prospects. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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In what way? I think trade jobs should be talked about more--they pay very very well, as do some union jobs. I agree--here it seems to be all academics and such. But maybe it's just the pool of people that self-select to talk here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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I'm not dissing bartending and I know it can pay very well. I used to drink a lot and know a lot of bartenders and a lot of them are very well educated and very smart people. But let's face it: bartending is not what we imagine our children doing for the rest of their lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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Ok, of course. But some outliers will want to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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I agree. I think some of these temp jobs become permanent jobs by default. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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NP: I"m in corporate recruiting...my opinion, there's a whole industry (see recent scandal) built around getting your kid in the right school. There isn't a similar industry around helping a kid develop work and life skills. That's how you end up with kids who don't know how to get to work on time and have to have mommy call in for them when they have the flu (my DH is in Big Law, and this has happened with new Ivy paralegal employees.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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I totally agree. Life skills, work ethic, organization are all mostly ignored. I can't believe the last part of this: Their parents called?!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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Yes, more specifically, mom. And, the "girl" was 26. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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My theory: Graduates from top schools don't feel that sense of urgency about using their degrees or credentials the way prior generations did. My parents told me "Get a job, we're not supporting you." So many of the parents I know are supporting their Ivy graduate kids till the kid finds that "perfect job". Our DD will never go to an Ivy (LD), but knowing that we've always insisted that she have chores a home, keep a planner to make sure she gets those chores done, volunteer, work in the summers, etc. We've really emphasized work skills. I don't see my friends whose kids are Ivy bound doing the same. Yes, they may discuss it, but they really don't prepare their kids in a practical way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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I graduated from college in the mid 90s. My parents were very clear that I was now an adult and it was all on me; finding a city to live in, finding a job and finding an apartment. For the most part all ties were cut at that time. They explicitly let me know that they were done supporting me financially and emotionally. Me not having a clue decided to go to law school. I still struggled after getting the law degree (1st tier, bottom 50% - it happens). I experienced unemployment, depression and almost got evicted because I had no money to pay rent (that was the ONE time my parents decided to help - begrudgingly). Every step of the way my parents let me know where I was falling short and fucking up. It was horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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Same scenario here, but it made me stronger and tougher. My parents were immigrants and barely spoke English so they were role models...you can make it on your own no matter how hard it is if you stick with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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DD knows that she will need to support herself. How she does that (as long as it's not illegal) is up to her. At this point (she's almost 13), I just feel it is my responsibility to give her the appropriate tools to reach that goal. We aren't TT or concern ourselves with TT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Actually, I think you are TT but not in the UB defined way. I do believe kids should be interested in their careers, but "follow your bliss" isn't the best advice. Never every kid is destined to be Spielberg, but so many kids have been told to pursue in a career in what they enjoy, and they not be the most talented in that area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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I'm not sure where I indicated that I told DD to "follow her bliss." She needs to support herself. How she does it is up to her. She may stumble along the way, and that's fine, and that's life, but she needs to figure it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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Sorry, perhaps that post wasn't clear. I'm complimenting you and commenting that many parents don't emphasize working enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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I don't know how many kids wants to be a bartender after graduation. I do think a lot of parents don't understand that an employer is looking for work experience. And, a lot of parents don't urge their kids to take advantage of the career guidance department at their school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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I do talk to my DD about her interests and possible careers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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NP: Our 16 year old has a LinkedIn profile and it lists all her employment/volunteer work. In college, we'll seek out internships. We've told her that she is expected to earn a certain percentage of her college tuition. I have two nieces who are in their late 20s, still being supported almost entirely by their parents while they bounce from job to job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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It may be that with the UB demographic that most of the posters here don't know the broader job market or job market realities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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I have one graduating a year early from UCBERKELEY in comp sci; has a great high paying internship this summer, after soph yr. Next yr I think he’ll have a lot of choices to get a good job wherever he wants. He has a business that he created at 14, online video game programming, global sales. DD is 4 yrs younger, has 3 yrs hs left. Not as sure what she wants to do yet, but prob STEM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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GO BEARS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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NP: I think therein is the challenge. If your kid is not in STEM, but a liberal arts type, it is hard to find a career path. It isn't like previous generations where a degree in English meant you could get a job in advertising/media, et al. So much has changed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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This is interesting. I want my DD to know how to work hard, but I also don't want her to have to work in a particular profession--this was my issue as a non-rich kid coming out of college with loans. We have two apartments (DH is European) Will give her one. She will be responsible for maintenance which will be very cheap, relatively. And she has to decide how she wants to live. Maybe she wants to be doc filmmaker and have roommates, maybe she'll be a social worker, marry a social worker and not take vacations. Maybe she will go for big-money law, sell our place which isn't in a posh neighborhood and live a keeping up with the jones life (I hope not). But the point is she will have a stable place to live in NYC (or the other, a major Euro city) and won't have to make decisions based on that. And beyond that, she will make choices about what matters to her. That's all she's getting from me as she begins her adult life (have no idea what grandparents will leave her. DH from wealthy family, I am not). For grad school, I paid for it, at a non "TT" place, unlike my college, because I realized that I'd rather have no loans. That might be the kind of decision she will make. I just don't want her decisions to be based on subsistence and health insurance (she'll have to earn enough to pay for that). This is something I can give her and its actually something the state would provide if she lived in Stockholm, for example. It's just not something U.S. provides. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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NP: I understand. I came from a working class family and lived in awful apartments in awful neighborhoods. However, I grew up in a basement apartment (which I suspect wasn't even legal). We will buy DD an apartment in a decent neighborhood as a graduation gift, or perhaps give her one of our current rental properties. We will also leave her with a modest trust fund after our deaths so she has some cushion against adversity. However, she knows none of this. She fully expects to struggle, and to me, that's what many kids don't expect in life...to struggle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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NP: Something I also think about: higher education is a business. Who is going to tell all those English, political science, history majors that those are not marketable majors. Our local Pier One is staffed almost entirely by art majors. Our local Starbucks is history and English majors. Unless someone with a liberal arts degree has connections or a talent in STEM, the prospects aren't great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Why can't we have clementines/mandarins year-round? They're the only fruit I like. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 03.22.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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Because there's this thing called peak season for certain produce. If you want it year around, they will probably have to be shipped from far away and at great cost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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Okay, I know WHY. I was just venting... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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Okay, cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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What on earth are you talking about? "At great cost" - that's simply not true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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Hey Literal Mom, how's it going? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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I'm just pointing out that you're literally wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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Clementines where I am are $4.99 for 5 lbs. Imported from "far away" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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It always cracks me, when people look past all the "costs" of food that they think they're entitled to. It's more than economic costs, it's the cost of shipping stuff half way across the world, the natural resource costs, etc. Same thing with bullshit Fiji water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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It's called seasons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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oy, okay, okay! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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they can be had for the right price [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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They are cheap year round. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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just eat candy, they are basically sugar bombs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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just eat candy, they are basically sugar bombs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Yes, oranges have a lot of sugar but also a lot of vitamins and fiber. Whole fruit is much healthier than juicing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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Scurvy Mom strikes again! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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What a stupid comment, comparing a piece of fruit to candy. Good lord. Sure they both have sugar, but that's where the similarities end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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It's why Americans don't get enough fiber. They've decided carbs and sugar are OMGEVIL and they're throwing the baby out with the bath water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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I'm confused. I just bought a crate of Darling clementines at BJs. Imported from Morocco. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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Lots of other yummy fruit. How about watermelon, strawberries, mangos? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:16 PM Flag
[ - ] For kids who received more than one high school offer, when are their decisions due, and how? Is there a registration process? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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April 5 - you send letter to GC with choice marked [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] I have an incoming 6th grader ds- waiting for MS results. He's judged his MS picks on schools that have the sports he wants to play. He's into football but has never played it. I, of course, ranked the middle schools according to those that I think he would thrive in. He wants to be a professional football player. Is this dream going to petter out by 7th-8th grade when he realizes that he can't play football in NYC (or be a professional)? Please don't laugh- He's about a year or two behind emotionally for his age. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:16 PM Flag
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Yes, it could. But right now our job as parents is to support our kids' dreams. For all we know your ds may become a sports commentator on CBS or write a sports column in a newspaper. My dh was into learning statistics about baseball and got very good in math. Please don't worry about what an 11yo is saying right now. His interest will keep him going to school and enjoying life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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Thank you. I have never told him the football player thing probably won't work out- right now I'm trying to keep him on the tennis track which is the sport he's been playing for two years. I don't want to overdo it as a parent but I don't want to underdo it either. So hard:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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He can do both...maybe ask him and talk about the choices and what it could mean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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Football is a tough, high-impact sport. You will either excel early on or you'll quickly find out it's not worth getting beat up in practice just to watch the first team play on game days (while you stand on the sidelines in the cold for a few hours). I wouldn't worry too hard about it. It will sort itself out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:26 PM Flag
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Why not sign him up for flag football outside of school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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How far off are your lists? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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I don't know, I honestly didn't even check to see which schools offer which sports. I just smiled at him when he told me he wanted a certain school because of a sport. We went and visited schools together but I didn't tell him how I ranked them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:47 PM Flag
[ - ] There is so much misinformation on UB . EVERYONE received a match this year and 44% received their first choice. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:09 PM Flag
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OP : Forgot to add this is for DOE high school admissions, per Insidesschools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:10 PM Flag
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You know this how? Mistakes never happen? How can you receive a match if you only listed 2 schools and your kid is a D student? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:23 PM Flag
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In that case you are assigned to a school that has space for you. A “match” does not mean you got a school from your list. It means you were offered a school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:26 PM Flag
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So it's not a match...it's an assignment. Match implies from a list. I'd find that term very misleading and disingenuous. A.k.a. a lie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:28 PM Flag
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For example...I have a red sock. I was told I would receive a match in March. I get my package and inside is a blue sock from Amazon. Is that a match? No. It is just a sock. Not much use for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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True. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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Apparently some people received a SHS and didn't receive a screened school. This is probably Ok because of matched with a random school not on their list they would have taken the specialized anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:28 PM Flag
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Is this true? It doesn’t seem right, esp if they listed schools in the general hs list. They should at least get assigned to some general hs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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They are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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That isn’t true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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That was a troll posting over and over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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I can't believe they would just go on that assumption. I know of one kid who is not taking the specialized placement (don't ask me why) and will take an arts high school- not LaG. There are kids like this. They take the test just for the hell of it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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It's all bullshit. They can't do anything like that with the way their system works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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The way I understood from kids who have done it is that you get a specialized placement, if qualified, AND a placement from the list. No? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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Yes, and they are entirely separate processes and not at all dependent on each other. There are 80K students doing this. Nobody goes through the list and evaluates each candidate and their potential offers and changes them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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now I know you are fake, 44% did not get their first choice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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And you k ow they didn’t how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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np: people here are making stuff up. In reality we have NO idea what the hell the DOE did. It's a new system this year right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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they screwed up somehow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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I hope not. I'm waiting for MS results and scared to death [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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np. Well technically, 44% is off, but not by much as that is the number for 2018. 45% received their first choice in 2019. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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That percentage is on the Insideschools website , go check . I will search for the link [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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LOL! Nope. You didn't even read the piece you posted: "Roughly 78,000 eighth-graders received their high school letters this week and about 45 percent were matched to their first choice, compared to 44 percent in 2018. " [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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See, that's just it. I did read the article when it first came out and it said 45%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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That is high [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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44% misleading as many/most students rank obligatory zoned schools first and/or are in places like Bronx ranking schools that never fill...what is relevant would be to know what percent of, say, D3 or D2 students in Manhattan get their first choice. To me....I am sure it is far less than 44% but it may be that 44% get one of top 3.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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And this is how you know that someone in Carranza/Deblasio's office is on UB... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have a Ragdoll cat? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:04 PM Flag
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My mom's got one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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Good for kids? Supposedly they have a friendly personality and will follow you around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:12 PM Flag
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NP: I have two orange tabbies who fit that bill. In fact, they're too needy and friendly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:14 PM Flag
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Aw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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Do they sit on your newspaper and computer keyboard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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Yes, anything that involves an activity that isn't exclusive to them. I have to lock them out of the room when I'm sewing or doing other things that require paws-free or tushie-free work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:26 PM Flag
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Those bad kitties! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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Go to a shelter and please get a stray kitten. You shouldn't be buying cats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:23 PM Flag
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She can rescue a ragdoll, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:25 PM Flag
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Ok, I just assumed they aren't really in a shelter...seem to be a breed of cat. Maybe there is a rescue for them too. Good to know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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You might be surprised: some people don't care and some are looking to rescue a specific breed. My friend just rescued a (probably) purebread Siamese. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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We rescued a Persian [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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She can do whatever she wants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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There are good, reputable breeders out there. The cats don't know where they are from. Telling people not to buy animals because there are too many already is the same as saying that everyone should adopt instead of procreate. People can make their own choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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Breeding animals when there are millions if not more in shelters is not the same as having your own child. It's a...cat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:36 PM Flag
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2.4 million healthy kittens are euthanized each year. Let that sink in. If you really want a purebred cat, find a shelter that has one for adoption. That way you can make room for a cat or kitten that would have to be killed because there simply isn't enough space. If that isn't enough of an argument, shelters will vaccinate, spay/neuter, test for FIV, and microchip for a small adoption fee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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If there were millions of children waiting for adoption yes. And likely with overturn of Roe vs. Wade your point may in fact have some validity. I'm for sterilization of all animals (dogs/cats) and birth control for humans. Allowing my kids to adopt (both gay) would also be helpful so I know you'll be an ally for that situation when you can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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Better yet, adopt an adult cat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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ew. no. Cat's pee and mark their home and everyone I know who has a cat has a house that smells like urine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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It's the people you hang out with, most likely, that is the root of the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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No. They live on Fifth Avenue in doormen buildings. It's just a smell cat owners seem to get used to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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Oh, please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Nope. It's not something to get used to. Your friends on Fifth Avenue don't have any business caring for animals if they don't know how to care for them or have the requisite brains to figure out that there's some work involved in curbing pet behavior that leads to this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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You post this all the time. Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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I'd get a better class of friends if I were you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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Your friends are using the wrong (cheap) kitty litter and obvithey do not clean it often enough, cats are very clean, they will only pet outside the box because they are disgusted by it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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**pee [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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Hi cat hater mom! You post all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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I don't. I have a bird, so no cats allowed in my household, but ragdoll cats are super cute and I can't blame you for wanting one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Rag dolls are friendly. Himalayan’s are the friendliest and nicest cats though. All the love and none of the attitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:48 PM Flag
[ - ] From school newsletter: "Among the topics that the EIGHTH GRADERS will learn about are: The Effects of Pornography on the Mind (Please note: They will not be watching pornography) and Healthy Relationships (which will include a discussion about sexual consent.)" 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:50 PM Flag
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And? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:52 PM Flag
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I think it is great they discuss these topics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:53 PM Flag
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This wasn't necessary back in the day because serious pornography was pretty hard to get access to. Now it's one click away for anyone with a phone, tablet or laptop. If it's going to be so accessible, it warrants a discussion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:56 PM Flag
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Absolutely. When I was in middle school, the worst kids could see was Playboy, which is downright innocent by today's standards. They can now see stuff that will scar them for life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:58 PM Flag
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I remember my mom just bought a magazine for my brother once. He was a teenager. She saw him trying to pretend he wasn't looking at the girlie magazines in the newsstand rack and she just grabbed the magazine and bought it for him and never mentioned it again. Pretty sure it was a Penthouse. You're right, pretty tame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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The topics are good. It's funny they felt they had to tell you they wouldn't he watching porn. There must have been calls from parents last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:57 PM Flag
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What school is this? A NYC school? I wish my 8th grader was getting this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:59 PM Flag
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Mine did in an NYC school. Don’t know if it is the same one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:25 PM Flag
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Which school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:27 PM Flag
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It’s MS 54. I think it’s great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:12 PM Flag
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Good! Pornography is actually really harmful, more than we can even comprehend and on so many levels. I'm a very liberal person and I would like to see it banned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:26 PM Flag
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Excellent. These are important conversations to have with kids BEFORE they are exposed/engaged. I have talked to my kids about these things at age appropriate levels since they were little and continue to do so. At 15 & 10 they are like, “We knooooowwww, mom!” when I bring it up. I HOPE they are getting similiar messages from other authority figures in their lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:27 PM Flag
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8th graders are already exposed to porn. At least the boys. My dd goes to a very well regarded public ms, and she says the boys openly talk about porn and even follow porn stars on Instagram. These are 8th graders!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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I am aware... which is why I have been having this conversation with my kids since they were little and assert that it is important ONGOING conversation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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When did you start discussing this with them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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Anyone have some favorite books or resources to help them think through how to have these talks really early? I have a two year old and 10 month old and i'm already trying tos tarting thinking about how to bring up these issues in age appropriate ways soon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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Yes. With internet access, kids can get access to porn with one click. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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By 8th grade they’ve already seen plenty, too. If you think your DS hasn’t you are delusional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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I would not be pleased AT ALL. Leftist nuttiness at its worst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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Your DC is wacking off to online porn right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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