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[ - ] Does anyone have a referral code for Rothey’s shoes? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:07 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:43 AM Flag
[ - ] What’s something disgusting that happened to your kid or your kid did and they’re still ok? Mine found a random Gatorade at the zoo and took a sip before I noticed and yelled at him to stop. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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mine chewed some gum found underneath a playground, got sick and learned lesson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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Slide [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:46 AM Flag
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My dd chewed a bunch of gum she apparently scraped from the bottom of a big table at a dim sum restaurant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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LOL. My DDpicked up a smashed M and M in the floor at best buys and ate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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My middle school DC was reading and got on the wrong train, ended up deep in the Bronx. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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Hah, not my kid, but me. My mom was called into the hospital one Sunday, so my dad had to watch me, but he was having friends over to watch football. He found me slumped over in the kitchen because I found a bottle of Robitussin and drank some. My mom never let my dad live that one down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:29 AM Flag
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My toddler picked up a dog dropping in her bare hand while walking down the street, and it was NOT one of those old, desiccated ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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At 10 I was biting toenails. I wish I had that flexibility now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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+1 One of my students is always putting her feet in her mouth or behind her head, to try to disrupt class, and it's really hard to stick with a calm "feet down please" instead of "okay, everyone, let's all stretch and bend". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:45 AM Flag
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My DS used to do this. At least they were his own toenails, but so weird... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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mine too, awful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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I used to do this too about that age (I know, gross). I wonder if it's a form of OCD--I had OCD tendencies around 10-14, although I kind of outgrew them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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Ate a goldfish cracker found in a ball pit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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5yo DS went into a port-a-potty at a park. When he came out I noticed he was holding and taking a bite of a bagel that was actually his, but I did not know he had carried in with him. Don’t want to think about where it was while he was peeing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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lolz. I hate carrying a purse into a ladies room with out a hook on the door. I never know where to put it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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My dd collected rocks until I found out many were dried dog poop. (preK). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Euphoria worth to watch? I watch most of first episode and found it to be too dysfunctional and teeange centric. Does it gets better like character studies and such involving adults? It's at the most trending list, considering if I should give it another try? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:19 AM Flag
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It's very teen angsty. A highly sexualized soap opera. The focus is almost entirely on the teens. The plots are absurd and the show tries to be as shocking as possible. Yet...I like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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It definitely gets more nuanced, but only a little about the adults. I’m going to stick with it, but I still can’t get over the 9 year old dealer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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that's supposed to be a joke. it's funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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No, it's not a joke. The kid is the dealer because he won't do hard time if they're caught. He's also way smarter than his older brother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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I love it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:34 AM Flag
[ - ] New York Ladies who've been around the block - - kindly help me out! A number of years ago (at least as late as 2009 or so?) there was a furniture store (Italian name? Began with a "C" quite possibly, but maybe not.) on East 57th between 2nd and 3rd. North side of the street. Does anyone remember what the name was? TIA! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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Castro [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Conrans? Corner of 59 and 1 st where there is now a TJ max. I purchase 2 chairs from them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Ah, I loved Conrans in the 80s and after. Also fond of Habitat, the downmarket euro version, which is still in business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Calligaris [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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They had the best cabinets [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Planning a one-week trip to San Miguel de Allende at the New Year. 2 adults, 2 teens. Recommendations? TIA! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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It’s a lovely little town. I spent a summer there about 18 years ago so I’m sure individual establishments have changed but my recollection is it is very pretty and there’s not actually a ton to do but there may be festivals etc. going on, pretty place to explore on foot. I think there is a mineral Springs nearby. We also really enjoyed the town of Guanajuato which isn’t too far away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Just don’t go this is not Mexico this is a town of Americans, try Oaxaca or Mexico City [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Bell poster below: This is true. It is extremely American. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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San Miguel de los Gringos. That's whiat it was nicknamed when I lived there for a few months--in 1983. X 1000 now. But it is beautiful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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So? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:47 AM Flag
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So you might as well go to Colorado or somewhere in the USA - San Miguel is expensive and not Mexico it’s a retirement town for Americans [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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It's wonderful!! Many europeans too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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It’s like Disney land [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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Bring earplugs. Years ago, my mother and I went there with my aunt who lives in Mexico City. We stayed at a cute hotel in town--BUT all night long the bells from various clocks and churches would ring out of sync. It became a joke. None of us could sleep because of the noise. Bring earplugs and be prepared for bells ringing all night long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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At least you got an amusing story out of your insomnia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:46 PM Flag
[ - ] DS has grown 8 inches taller while away at college. Before DS left for college, DH used to tower over him amd now DS towers over DH. Their relationship dynamic has really changed. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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If they were elephants your ds would have to kill him :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Do kids continue to grow at that age? I don't think I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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Boys grow in college quite frequently. I actually grew a tiny bit my senior year of high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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+1 there was a kid who shot up a foot between freshman and sophomore year in college! nerdy to hot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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boys keep going because they begin puberty later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Yes, one of DH's friends didn't really grow at all until he went to college, now one of the tallest in their group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 11:59 AM Flag
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DS is taller than most of the men on DH's side, gets the height from my side. Didn't change the dynamic with DH at all, they are still either super close or at each other's throats because DH is pushing buttons, it's moment to moment around here. But when I run out of patience and call them on the bickering, they both look at me like I'm crazy and say this is just their thing and to chill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:02 PM Flag
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I grew about 2 inches in college. I started to worry it would never stop! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:17 PM Flag
[ - ] What's for dinner tonight? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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We had carry out Chinese. That’s our regular Friday night thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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Us too! Very rare that we don't cook other nights. Very rare that we don't indulge on Fridays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:01 AM Flag
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I know. We’ve been doing it for almost 30 years except when out of town. Sounds boring but it works for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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Np: what do u like to order? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Stuffed peppers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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Kid free night, so I'm making bread, made some pesto, have some cheeses, some wine, and I'm going to watch the new eps of queer eye. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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Queer Eye shall save me from the heat wave! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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chicken quesadillas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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Korean curry rice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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fried eggs with olive oil and avocado [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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We ate out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:17 AM Flag
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Nothing. Had a big breakfast, so I wasn't hungry the rest of the day, so I just skipped it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Nothing beats the relief of a tall glass of cold water on a hot day. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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I pulled out a popsicle that's definitely been in my freezer for 3 years because it was part of my clears from my last colonoscopy prep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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Wow that is some interesting detail! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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Thank you! I aim to please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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Lol. Was it melded with the wrapper? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:24 PM Flag
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Yes, we lost electricity more than a few times and it was not the same shape. But it was still icy. lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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I’ve seen what you’re describing with my own eyes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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Yes! I especially love lemon water or seltzer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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Lemon! and mint [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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seltzer doesn't go down to the stomach as smoothly as water [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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Sparkling mineral water in a glass bottle is my thing. I hear ya! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:48 AM Flag
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I actually think it is my favorite thing to consume these days. I don’t drink alcohol maybe that’s why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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Get all those glasses lined up for the weekend!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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That or soda stream seltzer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Adult popsicle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:17 AM Flag
[ - ] My retired mother picks up my dc in afternoon after camp about 3 days a week. It’s about a 20 minute bus ride for her. Nonetheless, she’s older so I tell her that I can pick up a few more days. It would be challenging with my job but I could make it work. She insists that it’s no big deal and she likes having something to do. Today, I overhear her telling df that she’s exhausted from picking up dc and having to watch them. Thoughts? If this is true., why isn’t she being honest with me? Tia. 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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She's not being honest because you're her daughter and she doesn't ant to let you down. But I would do the right thing and tell her you realize you don't need her to do more than 1 day a week and make other arrangements. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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^^I do get that it's confusing for you, but 3 days is a lot. She's retired, which means she's older., right? I would really lower the expectation and let her relax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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Op: and she’s very persistent....I insist but she insists on picking up even more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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Np. I’m probably projecting, my own mother issues. But your mom sounds controlling. She also likes to control the narrative. She is the helpful, wonderful grandma and she likes getting praise and a pat on the back from whoever she is complaining too about you. She is coming off looking great and you as her daughter, not so much, because your mom works so hard to help you out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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Op: this is going to sound really awful but I’m not sure that’s it entirely. I think my mother secretly enjoys telling others how much she does for me. I know I sound like a huge b*tch but I’m really not and am immensely grateful about how much she helps me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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You sound passive-aggressive. You ask the question, wait for responses, then reframe the context. GL to you OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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You don’t sound like a bitch or passive aggressive. I don’t think she secretly likes telling others how much she does for you—I think she likes doing a lot AND getting a lot of credit. Are you Italian? I married into an Italian family and for a long time felt this way, but then I realized that doing a lot is how she shows love, and talking about it was letting others know how much she loves us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Np wtf? Why are there so many mean girls on ub lately? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:20 AM Flag
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I agree with you and prior poster who commented your mom likes to control the narrative that she is a martyr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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She's either not telling you because she doesn't want to let you down or she's just doing the retired version of "I'm so busy, it's crazy!" with her friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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This, and probably the latter. Take her at her word until you see evidence that she can't keep up (forgetting to pick them up, getting lost, being too tired to do anything once she gets the kids home...) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:50 AM Flag
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She is tired, but she does want to spend time with her grandkids and is okay with it. Just keep an eye on the situation (how old is she? ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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Why cant you say ' Mom I overheard you telling Ruth you are exhausted from watching the kids. I need you to be honest with me if it too much. " and then take her at face value for whatever she says. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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So this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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This.Just be direct [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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Op: thanks....I can do this but not sure she’ll be honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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She’s probably worried that it will upset you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Op: i wish she would be honest......it would be hard for me but I could make it work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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say that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:58 PM Flag
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Maybe let go of the "it would be hard for me" narrative that persists in this thread. They are are your DCs. P.S. It was hard for your mother, too. You seem to have a little victim/entitled mentality [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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was going to say the same -- make it totally ok for her to do less, nothing about it would be hard but you'll make it work, just that it's totally doable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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Op: I only say it here.....I don’t tell her it would be hard. I tell her that I can do it. I put dc in after camp precisely for that reason except she insists. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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Your mother sounds passive-aggressive herself, OP. And I know from experience how much it hurts when our mothers promise something and then don't follow through. But I'm also OR above checking your passive-aggressive slant and slight victim mentality. Might be annoying advice, but try to feel grateful that your mother wants to help at all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Op: extremely grateful.....in spite of everything, I feel very lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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she knows you need her, so you need to tell her you can totally do it. It's your problem, your kids. One day a week is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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then her dishonesty is on her and you can accept her help guilt and worry-free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:14 AM Flag
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This is the most difficult and most correct idea you are going to get. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:03 AM Flag
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She will not be honest. She may not even know what her limits actually are. I have this problem with my MIL. She desperately wants to help and be with the kids so she signs up for things she is just not equipped to handle. I’m not sure if she doesn’t think it through or is just optimistic. She’ll end up dumping responsibility on FIL (who can handle, but doesn’t want to). At this point if I only accept her help if I check with him first that he’s ok to step in. I feel your pain, it’s really hard because I’m sure she’s your child’s first choice too! You can be direct but MIL will just say she was complaining and that she really can do it. It’s hard to know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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Op: this could also be part of my mothers problem. She thinks she’s 21 yo but her body is definitely her age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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^^^ and she also loves spending time with dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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NP: That is so hard. I do feel for you, its been very hard on us because she is absolutely my kids’ (and our!) first choice. She and my FIL took my oldest DC to Disney for a few nights last year. She told me she wants to take him for ten days this year. I asked FIL and she hadn’t even checked with him and he thinks its a bad idea. It’s so awkward! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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My MIL pulled similar shit on me, always insisting she was more than happy to help. She embarrassed me in front of my friends who assumed I was taking advantage of her so I stopped asking her to help. I have that luxury and she isn't my mom so different situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Op: that’s exactly how it feels....she insists on helping but then says she’s exhausted so then makes me feel like I’m taking advantage. I hear you about MIL. My MIL is also retired; lives a mile away; never offers to help and I don’t ask. It’s different now because this is my mom. And I can’t afford to pay someone so would just have to leave work early. I could do it but it would be extremely challenging. Dh can’t help with pickups and he does drop offs so I wouldn’t ask him anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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Yes, I feel for you. I was so pissed off when my friends asked my how my poor MIL was, when basically she begged to watch my kids and all she had to do was sit by the pool all day (with lifeguards). But yours is a totally more difficult situation. If I were you I would talk to her and try to figure out a workable solution for everyone. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Op: thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Maybe she was just kvetching to her friend. Sometimes we do that--oh my goodness, I'm so tired, I have all this work to do! But it's not really true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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Or it’s true but it’s worth it to her. Many things are exhausting but worth it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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My mom helped me after each of my kids were born. She lives a flight away. I found out years later she was told my sil that both her daughters treat her like a slave. I have an unhealthy relationship with my mom. She would be offended if she weren’t there to help. She insists on helping but I really think it’s a control thing when she’s around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I get a wedding/bridal shower gift for the daughter of someone I grew up with (never close friends) and she had me invited to her daughter’s bridal shower (that my mother helped host in my hometown - I live 2 hours away and did not attend). I am not invited to the wedding. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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No way. Huge faux pas on her part — you never invite someone to a shower or engagement party who isn’t invited to the wedding. Buy her an etiquette book if anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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Happens all the time, people invite the mom's neighborhood friends or coworkers, none of whom are going to the wedding. Especially true in cases where wedding is in one city but some family lives elsewhere. If you like her OP I would send something [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Work shower (given at work, usually during work hours) is the exception. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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My mom thinks I should send a “small” gift just to be nice and I said that would be rewarding bad manners. This family has money but say they want a small wedding (around 100 guests). Money is not an issue for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Let your mom send a gift, then [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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I would send a gift if i were invited to wedding, otherwise no. Who invites someone to a shower, but not the main event, geesh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Exactly! And they did the same thing to some others- had to get our addresses from relatives for shower invitation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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It's one thing when you can't make the wedding of a BF's child--but a shower of an acquiantance? No way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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Nope. Send a congratulations card if you feel like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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Aww. You're nice! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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You could send something small if you'd like -- a kitchen gadget that you really like or a set of placemats/napkins. Or nothing. You can totally send nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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You could send something small if you'd like -- a kitchen gadget that you really like or a set of placemats/napkins. Or nothing. You can totally send nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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You should send a gift if you truly want to and only if you can easily afford it. To me, it looks like you were invited because your mother is co-hosting, so you would obviously hear about it, and they didn't want you to feel excluded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:53 AM Flag
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I wouldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:57 PM Flag
[ - ] My nearly 30 year old DD is a failure to launch and I don't know how to help her. We are UB UMC and she graduated from college with a degree in computer science, but she has never worked before. She has sort of failed her way to success. She used to be a popular youtuber that was earning ~100-150k per year, then she started an niche ecommerce business that was making ~50k per year, then she made a few hundred thousand from crypto currency, and now she is involved in video game tournament production. How do I motivate her to pursue a more stable job before it is too late? 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:52 PM Flag
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Why don’t you get together with the failure to launch mom who was on earlier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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would be a great reality show [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Yes! I might watch that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Kick her out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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Sorry, but doesn't sound like failure to launch to me at all (unless you mean she still lives at home and you want her to move out, wihch was the premise of that movie). Otherwise, she sounds savvy and successful and you sound old, and like you don't understand how the world is changing. I'd be proud of a 30-year-old who was earning 100-150k a year with those side hustles to boot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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So many women here are stuck in some bizarre 1990's universe where the only valid careers are in finance, law, or medicine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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yes! there's so much to do out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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You are so right! OP- your DD is doing great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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OP: It is nice while it lasts but her youtube earnings are shrinking and her ecommerce business is almost dead because it was related to a fad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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When one fad ends another one starts. Your DD knows what she’s doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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you sound like a total PIA- YOU are failing to let her launch. Unclench and let her go! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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This. (FWIW, I run a business doing business support services for affiliate marketers in the gaming industry. Video game tournaments are a real thing, and they are going to continue to be a lucrative business.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:55 AM Flag
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The fake posts are becoming crazier. You could play a drinking game with the buzzwords in this OP, except you'd be dead before the end of the post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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Thank you. People keep calling me crazy on here for pointing this out but I’m right there with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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Sounds to me like you're jealous of her success. Shame on you, OP. You are clearly what's holding her back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Oh no, surely this country of America shall fail now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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How are you going to motivate her when you are only a SAHM though? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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trolls are out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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I don't know how you go on. Surely this is like the death of a child. So much disappoint. So much sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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Too late for what? It sounds like she's working, and earning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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What tournaments is she producing currently? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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OP: I'm not going to answer that because I don't want to jeopardize her privacy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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When is she turning 30? According to the handbook you don't need to worry about it until then. Is she freezing her eggs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Poor attempt at troll post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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This post doesn't make sense. You say "she has never worked" yet she has made a lot of money $50 - $150 a year is plenty to support independence. Did she make all this money while living at home? And is it all gone? Have you communicated your expectations and given her deadlines? If she's making money doing whatever she's doing, she doesn't need a "stable job", she just needs to save her money and move out. Having a stable job does not equal success, but being able to support and take care of yourself does. Give her some ultimatums. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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OP: I mean "failure to launch" in the sense that she is a sort of layabout that has never worked a real job. She has a lot in savings and she doesn't live at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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What’s a real job? Back off mom. If she can survive on her own she’s doing better than a lot of people. Don’t project your outdated and annoying problems on her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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OP: So many people ITT are acting like I am being unreasonable and from this bygone tech inept era. I just want my DD to be smart. Her youtube audience doesn't follow personalities that are in their mid 30s. She will become less and less popular as she ages. Likewise, her video game production career also has a large amount of age discrimination. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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Np: I understand what you’re saying OP. I feel the same as you do. SIL keeps getting all these freelance jobs with no benefits at these huge magazines but she bounces from job to job. If she were my dd, I would want a more stable career too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Again, what’s stable? I’ve had a pretty stable career as a lawyer but there are miserable suicidal substance abusing people in my industry. I don’t buy the stable thing like my parents’ generation. The world is changing and it sounds like OP’s kid has the knowledge and skills to survive in THIS world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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OP, you sound so judgmental. Do you work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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^^She has a lot in savings. Be proud of her!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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My grandpa thought my dad didn't work a "real job" because he was an engineer and just "sat behind a desk". My dad doesn't think I work a "real job" because he thinks software engineering is "fake" and because I have a keg and a wine fridge at work. Your DD is fine, you're just getting old AF. Now you need to decide if you want to be a bitter out-of-touch old lady or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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LOL - my engineer father's parents too. He likes to tell the story of showing his father his first paycheck and his father thought it was for the month, not the week! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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I think your definition of a real job is old fashioned. You should make more of an effort to understand what work is for many in the younger generations, and then maybe you would realize she has already launched. You can't use outdated non-existent standards to judge her. She sounds like a successful interesting person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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This, and if OP is not a troll, she’s probably close to my age, which is 56. No excuse for people in my generation to think this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Ok, well now this is fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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Why does she need a 'real' job if she can earn and save without one? Running a business is as good (or better) than having a 'job' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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I know of a young woman like this. In her mid 30s, she fell in love, moved out and paid outright for a townhouse. They are very happy about to have their first child. He is ten years her senior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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She sounds like she is doing very well. I'd be very happy for her! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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Yes OP, one day she will age out of the video game tournament production scene. Perhaps she can use her skills to work with people who will appreciate her maturity. For example, wedding planner (hired by the parents), funeral director (don't laugh), or a private industry executive assistant (plenty of mature women (45+++) do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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NP: actually funeral directors are skilled morticians. My great grandfather was one and so is my cousin. It’s just a nicer way of saying “undertaker” now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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or an event planner - totally lucrative as a freelancer - know a few people doing this and they always have work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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With the skills and network she is building, she'd be qualified to plan expos and multi-day professional events. She wouldn't need to scale back to small personal events unless she really wanted to free up her time for other things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 11:44 AM Flag
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wait what? she sounds more than fine! people that age could be limping by with way less money. is she asking you for help? leave her alone if not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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I don't know how she managed to be this successful given her dysfunctional upbringing with you as her mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:56 AM Flag
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OP, she does not have the personality for the kind of jobs you envision and at 30 she will not change. If she has been able to support herself and has good savings, i’d back off. Is she by any chance expecting an inheritance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 10:26 AM Flag
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A huge percentage of young people these days refuse to work the way we did. Visit Portland please, there are tens of thousands of them, living crammed in with multiple room mates, working as little as possible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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She obviously doesn't want to be a corporate drone and work in a cube farm, and I don't blame her. If she wants to build wealth, she won't be able to via a regular stable job, let her try, she is still young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:51 PM Flag
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If you have a traditional background, this kind of "career" seems nuts, but I think it is the new reality. Encourage her to save/invest, so if the bottom falls out of her current gig, she's not dependent upon you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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It sounds like she is an entrepreneur and is using her computer science background to help her make money. Nothing wrong with that if it works for her. It just doesn't seem to work for you. You thrive on stability and conservative values. Doesn't sound like she received that part of your DNA. She prefers more risk, excitement and a roller coaster lifestyle. Best to let her be, she is who she is and nothing you say or do will change it. This is who she innately is. She may even strike it rich one day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking at the HCHS college results for this year. They don't seem that great. I'm not all about Ivy, but honestly I would be disappointed if my DC went to Tulane, NYU, BU, or any SUNY. 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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Why? My friends kids went to SUNY and one is a lawyer and another is an anesthesiologist. They saved their $$ for grad school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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Do you have a lot of money? Do you understand why so many Hunter students go to a Suny? Wake up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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+1 obviously this person has never really spoken to Hunter parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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DC is going in the fall. You're right, I don't know many other parents yet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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So wait. Attend some parent panels at the right time. You will understand the landscape. And I say this nicely, instead of superimposing your expectations on DC, why not support them to the best of your and their ability and see where the chips fall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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TY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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Posters like you haven’t been through the process yet and have NO CLUE what awaits you. You’ll be grateful to get your kid into a top 30 school. Trust me. Also, check your privilege and think about why so many kids are at SUNY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:40 PM Flag
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OK, forget the SUNY. But Tulane, NYU, George Wash U - doesn't seem impressive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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Who are you trying to impress? A ton of kids at top high schools go to SUNYs because they're affordable--and many are very good. I wouldn't have an issue with any of the other schools, either. An ivy degree is great but not a guarantee of anything except bragging rights. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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One of top kids on NYC math team is going to SUNY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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stoneybrook is very good for math [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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GW offers substantial merit scholarships...they might be going there and paying almost nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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I was offered a good merit scholarship to NYU. Maybe that’s why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Your kid would not get into Tulane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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You are wrong, and very ignorant. Wash U is a great school and hard to get into, so is Tulane. It's a war zone out there, any decent school you have actually heard of is very, very hard to get into these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:09 PM Flag
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I’m so confused. My ECs classmates go yo the schools you mention. DC goes to well respected Ivy. What does one hs e to do with the other? Send your child wherever you want! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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Excuse typos! On train [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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You sound like a good mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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NYU is a good school way better than others mentioned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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-1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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When I graduated from Hunter in the '80's, over 50% of the class went to Ivies. Over 10% went to Harvard alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:57 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Oh look, extreme dumbass has made his entrance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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BS. Many more people go to college. Also as kids do more and more, standards are increasing and when you come from a school like Hunter or Stuyvesant you are competing with a huge number of kids with similar, extremely good profiles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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Plus population is so much bigger now. And colleges have not added many seats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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You have to wonder, then, why parents are so desperate to get their kids into Hunter/Stuy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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I can’t speak for other people. But for my DS Hunter is where he felt at home. He will graduate with some very good skills/academics. Will he go to an ivy? I have no clue. I hope he find a good fit wherever he goes. And I still wouldn’t sacrifice the education he is getting not would he. But we know people who have chosen to live in small towns - compare it with south orange in NJ for the specific purpose of child being able to get into HYP. To each their own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Apologies for the typos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Because we want the best education for our kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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they want different students, from different parts of the country [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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Way more financial aid etc the top schools let in a lot of people who wouldn’t even bright to apply previously. Also kids apply to more colleges colleges lately, and colleges market to kids who could never get in an effort to reduce acceptance rates. While acceptance rates have gone way down, so have college yields. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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Back then anyone could get into an Ivy. Not same now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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BU has a ton of academic opportunities. I bet NYU does too. Why disappointed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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Tulane is excellent and very hard to get in to. You’re nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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NYU is the best of those listed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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So this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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Also, Tulane offers tremendous amounts of merit aid to kids who wouldn't qualify for financial aid. I think OP isn't aware of the financial aspect of the college admissions process. Tuition, room, and board (not including spending money or travel expenses) is $75,000 at most private colleges. Financial aid isn't available for families making more than $250-300. So for a lot of kids, a merit award makes a meaningful difference and can be a reason to chose Tulane over Amherst, for example. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:39 PM Flag
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Amherst 100x better. Maybe Tulane is popular with kids in the northeast and the school markets themselves in a way that makes their acceptance rate look low but it is not a top school. I would never pay 75k to send my kid to Tulane. Or BU. NYU I wouldn’t have a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Those are your priorities based on your kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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You are an idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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then be disappointed now cause you do not get it. we have an extremely bright and outstanding dc in high school with excellent grades and EC's and I know we can't afford to send dc to anywhere buy a SUNY or maybe even one of the CUNY's because we won't qualify for aid and we can't spend our retirement $. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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Your children call look at colleges that offer merit aid as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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Will you please post 2019 matriculation stats. My DC is starting HCHS this fall. In past they have been very impressive. I’m not worried about college - happy about the education - but am curious. Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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OP - you can see them on the PTA website. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:53 PM Flag
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They are still impressive. The OP just seems to think that everyone gets into a top 10 school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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even at hunter there are kids who do no work and get bad grades. somebody has to be the bottom of the class and that kid isn't getting into an Ivy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:31 PM Flag
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I just looked and about 25% are going to Ivy +SM. Many more going to top LAC or UCs etc. Looks pretty good to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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Please. The results are great. You are also not looking at schools got into that they turned down - Amherst, Georgetown, Vassar, Barnard...sure some kids likely got multiple accepts, but overall looks like every kid had a few solid choices. They also go to explain that acceptances are down - more applicants, more emphasize on URM and first gen college students. It’s tough out there and they admit it’s tougher than in past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:13 PM Flag
[ - ] I was given a very nice wireless charging pad. Please bear with me if I’m just stupid, but how is this any more useful than a regular phone charger? It has to be plugged into a UBS to work, same as a phone cable. What am I missing? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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It's cooler. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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it's helpful to have - just plug in to a computer you're using instead of the wall. it's so much easier to drop on the pad. use mine daily. also, doesn't mess up the port on the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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This. My port is messed so it's the only way I can charge my phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:04 AM Flag
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+1 DH charges his phone twice a day, and his ports are always shot long before it's time to buy a new phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:58 AM Flag
[ - ] How do I learn to live life going with the flow? Instead of always stepping up to lead, invite, book, plan, etc. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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You'll get frustrated with the lack of effort and recriprocation on the part of others and wonder why they get to say no and you don't. And then you'll learn to say no yourself. There's always some up and coming girl scout mom who thinks she'll rule the town/school/whatever to take your place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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This may be a matter of being careful what I wish for, but I'd love for DH, inlaws, my own relatives, friends, etc. to be the new girl scout :/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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You'll do better when you realize that's not happening, they're coasting off you just like you will also one day coast off the energy of youngers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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If I stop, there's no gatherings, no holidays, no vacations, no suppers, etc. I kid not. Like right now I was the last to shop for groceries and our fridge is nearly empty. I'm wondering how many days we'll go without enough groceries for meals before someone else steps up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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I'm confused, you're depriving your family of staple foods just to entertain? Food's not expensive here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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This is weird. You're moving the goal posts. Your OP is kind of benign, and then you just escalated it to your volunteerism depriving your family. I don't know what's up with that ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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I'm further confused by it starting out as something in your social circle (book club) and then it somehow turns into no vacations, no suppers. Who says supper anymore, anyway? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:24 PM Flag
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You're not going to like this, but try meditation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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Do it already :/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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Do you use an app? If so, try sitting without guidance. Just your won breath. 15 minutes is all it takes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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Meditation has helped me with being less irritable and reacting less. It hasn’t changed my personality. I think OP is developing a martyr complex and needs therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I have therapy. Recommends divorce and relocating. No thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:02 AM Flag
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find new therapy. There is a controlling element to “if I don’t do it,no one else will.” And the. Complaining about it. Other people sit around you paralyzed I imagine because my mom is like this. No one else cares about all the hoopla but my mom. All these things MUST be done for holidays etc. no one else wants them done. No one else cares. Acting this way will push people away and ruin all your get togethers. You need to lighten up. Maybe you do just need to stop doing everything you’re doing. Everyone will be happier, including you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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It won't happen without assignments, but once you do that, you can't control what they plan, buy, book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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Example of how to assign? I can’t imagine assigning my mother / friend / etc. To return invites and such [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:24 AM Flag
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(Basically feeling like if I were dating, I should take a clue ie he’s just not that into me) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:25 AM Flag
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Take it that way. Your family and current friends are just not that into you. Find friends who are. While you're meeting new people, maybe try being the kind of person other people are into? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:02 AM Flag
[ - ] Why is this site always hangs when opened on mobile...no videos or heavy images.. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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I can't read UB on mobile at all, I think I've reached that old phase [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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it's not mobile friendly - needs an app for phones [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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This happens to me, too. Makes no sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:50 PM Flag
[ - ] You are married to a successful guy and live a comfortable life. Your siblings are struggling, but are equally responsible, just not as lucky or as intelligent. Do you help your siblings and their children with college and house downpayments? You are not working, so this would be coming out of DH's paycheck. DH is not thrilled, but open. 42 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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Have they said anything to you? Have your parents said anything to you? Why should they feel entitled to your money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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No, they haven't said anything, but we know they are struggling to pay for college and keeping up with mortgage. I guess I feel a little guilty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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NP Have you ever talked about money? Or asked how you can help? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:47 PM Flag
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So get a job, and then you can given them the money you earn, instead of asking your DH to support not only your family but also your siblings. Of course your DH isn't thrilled, I am the (much) higher earner and if DH suggested this to me, I'd be livid, and I'd also refuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:17 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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^^We help with emergency medical treatment. That's it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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Define struggling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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My brother is working two jobs. His wife also works long hours. Live in a modest home in the suburbs. Other sibling similar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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I might send the kids a $1k savings bond for Christmas each year. Tell brother it's for college and that it's anonymous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:19 PM Flag
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np- how about contribute 1k to a 529 every year for them...though it could lessen financial aid in the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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No. Siblings may act grateful but they’ll resent you, and expect you to always give and even increase it. And it could end up a source of friction between you and DH. Plus what if his family needs money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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This x 100 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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You sound like the horrendous wife in Sense and Sensibility who talks her husband out of helping his sisters this turning them out. Of course I would help my siblings if I had the means! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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It’s not your means to dispense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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What’s successful and Hhi. Ours is $350 and I gave my brother $30k for downpayment . I am not working either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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That seems really generous actually [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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No. I learnt a long time ago that people are rarely transparent about their spending habits. If someone was on the verge of homelessness I would try to do something, but otherwise, no. Also I especially would avoid it if DH wasn't on board. What if his sister struggles to find childcare, would it be cool for him to tell her to drop her kids off with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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Set up 529 for kids or contribute towards college directly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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This. If you have enough to send them to a state school, do that. Don’t make it something where they need to get money from you on a regular basis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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I fit this description. Way more comfortable than my siblings. My sister took a real financial hit when her home was destroyed by hurricane Harvey. We gave her money just to help her recover. She’s fine now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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Describes us. We treat vacations and I send gift cards, buy movie tickets, etc. without DH noticing but they never say thank you and their entitlement grows. Their DCs are no different. When our marriage hit a hole, my relatives sided with DH, as if DH would adopt them as his own relatives. It was disgusting. Sorry OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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If they make a request, consider it, but do not offer. I would almost certainly say no to house downpayments. Maybe if the kids are small set up funds for them, WITHOUT TELLING THEM ABOUT IT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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How comfortable? Yes I think the world is such a mess you should always help your family whenever you can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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Hard question. Because you want to help out but perhaps not create expectations of ongoing support. FWIW< mY father paid for his nieces' and nephews' college tuitions (granted, in the 70s, and in the midwest) rather than giving his brothers and sister the money directly. Just one example. But I do realize this doesn't exactly align, since he was breadwinner and they were his side of the family. GL OP! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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What is wrong with you people?!? My friends sister is very well off and she gives her nieces/nephews plus their spouses and all their children the maximum annual gift every year! It’s around $15K per year per person. She has essentially funded all their 529s and paid a significant amount towards her siblings retirement. What kind of people don’t want to help their families? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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She is or her husband is? Her relatives aren't spending the money on stupid shit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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I have 5 siblings and my dh has 4. Are you nuts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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Obviously not everyone can give at this level but putting money towards your nieces/nephews education seems like a lovely and honorable thing to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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NP. I would have to have a truly enormous amount of money to be even close to comfortable with doing this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:20 PM Flag
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I would definitely help but in the form of specific gifts. I would never want to be in a regular support situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:46 PM Flag
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Is this just another way for you to show off how smart, rich, lucky, etc you are versus them. You’re going to hold this over their heads, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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My sister is a widow (BIL invented something really well known.). She is a miser, has multimillions, and still wants to split the bill at lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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OMG. My BF from college is married to a near billionaire, who is so cheap (except when it comes to his immediate family, to his credit). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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I’m the higher earner in the family but we do okay. Not rich but not uncomfortable. I know I’ll get flamed here but my brother and sister are religious fundamentalists and decided to have more kids than average and don’t believe god intended women to work outside the home. They struggle but I’m not supporting that. It was their choices and I have issues giving money to people for lifestyles I disagree with. That’s just me. They would be glad to take money in one hand and condemn me with the other. It’s a matter of principle. I wouldn’t let them starve but I won’t support the lifestyle. This is probably really off topic but OP’s question brought up old wounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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Thanks for sharing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:03 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:37 AM Flag
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No flames here, I would absolutely feel the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:20 PM Flag
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Rewrite your post to be about yourself and your own question. Your hypothetical has no value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:03 AM Flag
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I am the higher earner, I would be super pissed if DH didn't work and asked me to support not only our family but his sibling too. I have a super high stress job and worry about money all the time, I have given money in an emergency with no realistic expectation of being repaid (neither of our siblings seems to understand what "please lend me" means), but college and downpayments??? No way! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:16 PM Flag
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No because he is already supporting his own family. It’s wrong to dole out his income to others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Need a downtown (below 34th St) recommendation for a restaurant to take my dad (age 80) and his wife. He's in great health except has a hearing aid, which is why I'm stuck. They don't like noisy, but i'm asking them to come into Manhattan because it's 2 hour roundtrip for me to go to them and I'm packing my apt. on a tight deadline. Last dinner before we move out of town for a couple years. He likes Indian, Korean, Japanese, healthful food. TIA!! 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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I love Vezzo (30th and Lex). If you go early (5:30/6) it's not noisy. Also Stella in Macy's is lovely. Momoya is fun for sushi. The restaurants in Eataly are good. Quality Eats (Flatiron). Sarabeth's on Park Ave South. Blue Smoke on 27th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Sorry I ready Indian as Italian! There are a whole bunch of Indian restaurants on "Curry Hill" (Lex in the 20s). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:48 PM Flag
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Haha -- I appreciated your list but yeah, I don't think he wants Italian. I want something more upscale than CUrry Hill. Has anyone been to Rahi or aRoqA? both Indian with kind of expensive menus but I'm OK splurging if it's delicious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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If you want to spend a bite, you can go to Gauonnuri in K-Town. It's upscale Korean, quiet, and on the 36th floor of an office building with floor to ceiling windows. If . you can nab a window seat, I would definitely go there! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:52 PM Flag
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Lovely! Thank you! I will check it out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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np: That's a good idea, esp for someone a little older--quieter and not so hustle and bustle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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This. but given construction, it was such a nightmare to access the last time I went. If that's improved, then great suggestion! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:40 PM Flag
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Franchia Vegan Cafe. It's Park and I think 34th. Very healthy and very quiet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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^^Asian fusion [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:57 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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NP: thanks for this! I’ll have to check that out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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Also, what do you think of Bombay Bread Bar? The menu looks unusual for Indian and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I like saucy curry type stuff but from my read of the menu many dishes look rather dry -- has anyone who's been able to tell me more? TIA!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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I like Bombay Bread Bar, but it is loud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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^^and you can get saucier dishes or drier dishes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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It's very loud and not especially traditional. Cardoz is closing it at the end of September, so go now if it interests you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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Wallse is very quiet and good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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But also Austrian. SO not quite was OP was asking for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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OP sounds like a dick and more of a troll if they only accept exactly what seems to have been suggested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Jungsik is very good high end Korean. It’s quiet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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Sarabeth's at 28th and PAS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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Woo Lae Oak on Spring near 6th, korean and quiet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:46 PM Flag
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Peaceful and wonderful Japanese at Omen at 113 Thompson (between prince and spring) http://www.omen-azen.com/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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If you consider simple fish healthful, try Aquagrill. Or for Indian, Tamarind in Tribeca is great and very serene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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Acquagrill is a little noisy, no? Tamarind is nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Thalassa is quiet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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The bar side (not the bigger deal) st Gramercy Tavern. Or Craft. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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Thanks, UB! Except for the poster who called me a dick, I appreciate all of you for making these great suggestions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:12 AM Flag
[ - ] What are some of your favorite topics to read about (not book reading, internet/article reading). 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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Cooking and recipes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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Decorating and home Decor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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Real estate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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Psychiatry and psychology [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:00 PM Flag
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long form journalism true crime [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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scientific discovery, anthropology, art history [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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Politics, real estate, idiotic celebrity gossip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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College [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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Politics, pop culture [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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politics, education, television [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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spirituality, new ideas in different fields, race and equality, travel, parenting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Love Mormon family lifestyle bloggers (Love Taza, etc) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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Go to bed, Naomi. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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Fitness [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Math [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 11:48 AM Flag
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Birds, marine biology, decorating, architecture, travel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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