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[ - ] Anyone's 3 (almost 4) year old suddenly start waking up like an hour earlier than usual and not making up the sleep by napping or falling asleep earlier at bedtime? I mean I wouldn't care, except for the fact that he is an overtired mess and I'm tired of his meltdowns. Any advice or tips that have worked for others??? (His room is darkened, he only has his teddy bear as a toy in bed with him, he wears a pull up to sleep so he isn't waking up to pee, and he actually stays in his bed just looking out the window or playing quietly with his bear in the mornings and at nap time when he refuses to fall asleep, so it's not like he is waking up early / not napping because he is getting into shenanigans.... he just isn't sleeping. And yet acting like he needs it!) 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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I know this site has very little to do with parenting small kids anymore but I'm still hoping someone out there has some wisdom for me!!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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Yes. I had to reset by putting my son to bed super early (6pm) so he could catch up—then gradually move the bedtime back and the wake time improved. Took a bit more than a week to get back to normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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Thank you. You know, I was hoping "spring forward" daylight savings would help and it did for literally one day! Put him to bed an hour earlier, and he slept in until his "normal" time (which read an hour later on the clock because of DST) and i thought, sweet, problem solved! But by the next day, he was waking up at the corrected time again.... Maybe I'll try super early bedtime like you did for a few days and just pray to Jesus that he doesn't take that as a cue to wake up at 5am (That didn't happen to you guys, did it....? I'm nervous since he rolled back his wake time so quickly with the time change) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Do you think he could be done with napping? Other than that I have no suggestions my almost 5 year old has been a terrible sleeper for the past year and I can't figure it out. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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So he almost never falls asleep for his nap, he just has "quiet time" in his bed. Some days we skip that altogether if we have other stuff to do, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. In fact he has started passing out in the car when we drive anywhere longer than 20min and he has NEVER been a car sleeper, so if anything he seems like he needs to start napping again but won't take the bait when he is actually in his room for nap time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Time to drop naps. It’s not the easiest transition, there will be crankiness, but sounds like he’s ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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What's with the pull up at almost 4? You don't trust him or has he had issues? Also, I'm not sure that I remember well, but by then we didn't have a nap anymore, just quiet time, which meant reading books by himself quietly in his room. Maybe time to get to the next step and do more "grown up" stuff with him, he may be bored, mentally / physially under-stimulated. He's not a baby anymore, he's a little boy. Do you read bedtime stories with him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:41 PM Flag
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He wears a nighttime pullup, which my pediatrician assured us is pretty typical for a lot of boys at 3.5.....? And not to worry until he is closer to age 7 or so with that? He's been potty trained since 2.5 during the day. I don't know where you get I don't do more "grown up" stuff with him, on days he is not at preschool we do plenty of age appropriate stuff. When I put him to bed for his "nap" he just plays quietly and looks out his window, he doesn't sleep, so he is definitely ready to give it up but I think he does well with the quiet time mid-day and he knows I don't necessarily expect him to fall asleep. And yes we read lots of bedtime storeis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:00 PM Flag
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Both my kids wore a pull up at bedtime. One was close to 5.5 when she stopped. She's at a tt college now and I assure you she does not wet her bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:26 PM Flag
[ - ] I have full custody. It is very clear. But I still feel like my ex-h is going to drop court papers before 4/5 demaning to deicde the HS our kid goes to. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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It sucks, I know. Mine tried to block me from having dc see a therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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what do your court papers say - mine says he can participate but I get full decision authority - his interpretation of that is he has no authority so why get involved [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Is your 40's to late to enter a money making career? I want to be rich. I didn't care when I was younger. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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My siser went to law school at 40. Making $$$ now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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I'm a terrible writer but fairly good at math. Was just thinking about the finance woman below. How hard can this finance stuff really be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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np: anyone who is intelligent and driven can do it, but there’s a shit ton of dues paying and long hours. Assuming you get hired are you up for that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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don't know. I have not been a hard worker up til now, but didn't really have any reason to work hard... What are you actually doing ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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If you have not been a hard worker previously, then understand that you will be building up your stamina just like a couch potato that decides to become an ultra runner. Of course you can do it, but expect it to be hard and try not to get discouraged when you see people who have been hard workers their whole lives breezing along. It’s hadd for them too, but they are far more used to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:15 PM Flag
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You’re not going to make it if you’re not a hard worker. You’re not even going to get hired. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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Try accounting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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they don't seem to make that much money. i want to make 200k plus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Lol. Nice try troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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LOL. Write back after you experience the real world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 09:53 AM Flag
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no. my dad was a layabout until his 40s. then he started teaching himself computer languages and got a job as a systems engineer and started making bank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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he loves work now... i still don't understand why he couldn't have worked when i was growing up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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Because he wanted to be around when his kids were growing up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 08:02 AM Flag
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Probably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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Nope. You still have half your life left [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 09:14 AM Flag
[ - ] I keep thinking about the dr. who was abused with three kids. Do you think she is real? She seemed so unhappy and hopeless. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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MP from a couple of days ago. She is an MD with 3 children who is divorced from a man who physically abused her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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link? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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don't have it, sounded like she had been divorced for years and was basically convinced she was cheated out of a good life and everyone was secretly judging her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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She is on here all the time. She is not unhappy. You kind of extrapolated from the discussion in that thread that she was responding to. She is awesome and very strong, and she is financially able to support her kids in a great life because she is a very successful doctor. She is open about how that gave her options that other abused women don't have. She was married to a monster and she was talking about how there is still a cost that she has had to pay. She is not sad and is a great mom who protects her kids. As for the secretly judging her, people on that thread WERE judging her for being abused in the first place. They weren't secret about it. They were right out in the open with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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I didn't see people judging her, but anyway I'm glad that that was just one side of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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People were rude and basically saying all the things that are said to abused spouses - why did you let it happen? why did you stay after the first time? what is wrong with you? She is awesome and a great support on this board to people in DV situations. That is the only time I have seen her attacked and the only time I have read anything remotely hopeless sounding. I think she was just saying that she does think about how she was cheated out of the family she could have had because her husband was a psychopath. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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And she left him when she had a toddler and two infant twins I believe. It is an amazing story. She is very strong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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ok, maybe I just didn't read those comments. Honestly I don't think anyone in real life thinks that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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Keep listening for it, and you will hear it. Someone here once described domestic abuse as the “last frontier”. As a society we are finally backing off a little from blaming the victims of date/acquaintance rape and from sexual harassment in the workplace, and placing the blame on the men causing the harm instead of the women receiving it. But women who are victims of family violence are still stigmatized instead of redirecting the blame squarely into their abusers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:22 PM Flag
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Well, hi. It’s DV MD mom—please oh please give me a different name. I appreciate your kindness. I appreciate whomever let’s me unpack and process here, and yes, people whose lives are turned upside down by abusive husbands never stop experiencing its pain periodically, possibly for life. I’m also taking my kids to Hawaii next week for spring break. (Traveling solo with 3 kids is hard, but no hard things get easier unless you make yourself do them. Wish me luck) Both ends of the spectrum of happiness can be true at the same time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 05:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Would you complain if your uber didn’t have a seatbelt or am I just a crazy person? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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they should have a seat belt. You are not crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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And even after I inquired about the seatbelt the woman who has her purse in the middle wouldn’t move it. I also tried to sit in the front but driver said no Bc his coat was there. I always wear a seatbelt and my friend died in a cab accident so I’m bothered. Just wondering if I’m totally crazy though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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I would have gotten out and reported it to Uber [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:41 PM Flag
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i would be really upset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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he claimed there was a seat belt there earlier today -- I doubt it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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I’m with you here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 06:11 AM Flag
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I would told them to let me out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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Was your Uber a 62 Chevy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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Yes, I would complain to uber. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:28 PM Flag
[ - ] From a dance perspective, what is the difference between La Guardia dance and Ailey dance at PPAS ? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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If student is female, the likelihood of making a living off that dance training is null. But lag has better academics than ppas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:43 AM Flag
[ - ] what is the latest on 2018-19 college admissions around you? any trends? andy early acceptances? better than or worst than the past? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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All of the ivy bound kids at our public hs ended up at UVA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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um, ivy day didn't happen yet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Maybe poster means no one got in ED but got into UVA EA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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Williams 2023 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Is this one of those schools that really tracks and wants pre application interaction? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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in our highly competitive suburban public HS, fewer students were admitted ED than usual. Guidance counselors said it is because top schools are focusing on first-gen and internationals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Growing interest in schools like UCSB. Diminished interest in USC even by those with scholarship. Fewer ED acceptances to IVY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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Same with us! I posted above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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DD goes to an SS. Everyone is turned off by USC- a big disappointment to those who were very interested. (Not a school where anyone could even consider a payoff let alone afford it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Oops meant DS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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No one who wasn’t a legacy, URM or a great athlete applied to top 10 colleges. Felt is wasn’t worth a shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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How would you know that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 11:36 AM Flag
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my dd into harvard early, , 3 into cornell, 1 into johns hopkins, a bunch into BC/northeastern/level schools. Most didn't do ED so more to come [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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Oh this Harvard mother with the DD with the instrument cant say Harvard enough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 04:53 AM Flag
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you sound jealous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 06:03 AM Flag
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I thought everyone did ED? Why wouldnt they? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 04:53 AM Flag
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We are not. First choice school happens to be EA. And FA have hard time with ED. PLUS, there is an argument you can shine in RD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 09:55 AM Flag
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Did your dc get EA? How do kids shine during RD? The pool is definitely less competitive than the EA/ED pool, but there are a lot more candidates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 11:39 AM Flag
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np. We didn't. Counselors advised against it, but most of the school is reduced/free lunch, so FA is a huge consideration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 11:37 AM Flag
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We had more questbridge and posse admitted than usual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 11:35 AM Flag
[ - ] In my current job I make $165k base and just got half of my bonus for the year of $125K. This makes my all-in comp $290k for a job I work 50-55 hours per week. But since they break up the bonus I will only earn $227 this year and have to wait until January for the remaining $62k. My question, I work in finance but at a small firm, are there places where I can make more money for $290k and work 50 - 55 hours per week? I have no idea what is market. I made more than this in 2009 with less experience. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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You of course realize many many people in finance make more than 290k and that finance is a pretty broad catch-all term- you will have to tell us what your job function and seniority is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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A role that clearly doesn't involve concise communication skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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OP: Ha, I guess you are right. I'm in investment banking. I started at a bulge bracket firm. I left when I had my first kid 6 years ago. Took a job in a different industry with a smaller company and had a Director Role with comp of $200K and a bonus one year of $100k. That company sold and I moved to a small, boutique M&A firm. I don't have a skill set to have a corporate finance role somewhere. But I have a skill set to either - push upwards back to a real boutque M&A firm. Or I could move to a corporate function at a mid-level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Jesus, word salad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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What exactly do you do again? You sound like support or marketing to the real bankers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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I work at a really small firm where they split the role of deal execution and revenue generation. It’s a suppprt role in that respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Do you seriously think anyone is going to muddle through this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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How the f would anyone know this? Apply for jobs and see what you get [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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Lol. Harsh but true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:14 AM Flag
[ - ] I am about to go on (unpair) maternity leave and have a feeling I’m going to be fired right before hand. Is this legal? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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^^unpaid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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Not if it's bc of your pregnancy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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It is only illegal if you challenge it and there is a finding it was illegal, so gather some evidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Apologies for continually posting on this subject. I had DC #2 and in a post partum frenzy we bought a house in the suburbs. I started to get cold feet as we started to move and now we've been here for four months and I know it's not going to work out, I would rather a tiny place in the city. Is it insane to think about renting out our house or selling it after only living in it for a year? I feel so remorseful 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Life is too short to live somewhere you dislike. Btdt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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I did it too. Never happier than the day I moved back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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It's not insane but I also think four months is not a lot of time to know if you're going to like living somewhere. What are things you are not happy about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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It's just so dull and conformist and uninspiring. It's just not for me. I don't feel like I have the same values as people here. They have fancy cars and huge houses built in the 90's, I just hate the houses. I feel so isolated and my gut instinct is that it was a completely wrong decision and taking the easy way out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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Taking the easy way out would be doing exactly what you want to do and not challenging yourself to do better for your family or your kids. It sounds like taking the easy way out would be moving back to a tiny place in the city, truthfully. The better thing to do would be to try 110% to build a new life in your new community, embrace what it can offer your kids (a yard? their own rooms? space to roam in the house? a good local public school? having a dog? whatever), and re evaluate in 2 more years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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That’s true. I see what you’re saying. I meant we took the easy way out because there weren’t multiple offers on houses and we could just buy five bedrooms and not have a massive mortgage. We have a lot of space and parks are within walking distance, schools are good.. but it’s a little too quiet. We don’t see any people when we go out, it’s really something to get used to. I really hope this is a better life for my kids but I don’t know. Where we used to live had a lot more kids and kids activities, more kids to play with at park, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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I sympathize with what you're saying because we moved from a city to a suburb back in November (not NYC, different east coast city). And it's been hard and i've attributed a lot of it to the weather- hard to meet people in our new neighborhood if it's always 40 degrees and raining. But our zoned schools in our city were atrocious, real estate in our city was stagnant and we were hesitant to buy a larger home not knowing if we'd ever be able to sell it again (we had a one bedroom with one kid already, moved when I got pregnant with #2 because just no to all 4 of us in one bedroom), and crime in our area of the city had gone up and we were tired of it. So I know it was the right decision- but it's hard. Our immediate neighbors are nice, but they all have college aged kids. I'm hoping that we will soon meet other 30-somethings with young kids on nearby blocks once the weather is nicer- I see play sets in some yards so I know they are freaking there. I tell myself, we can walk to the elementary school and we can still walk to our "main street" for coffee or some shops, and while it's not the same as living in an urban area, it's not bad. It will get better. This is a pep talk for both of us!!! (And if it doesn't, we can move back to our respective urban areas in 2-3 years) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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^^hesitant to buy a larger apartment/home in the city, I should have clarified. 2 or 3 bedroom places were sitting on the market for literally 1+ years in some cases and going for less than people paid 10-15 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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I agree the grey weather does change everything. Maybe it will liven up in the spring. My neighbors have kids in college too!! I feel like everyone here is in their 50s and 60s.. apparently that generation bought houses then and then never left the area, so there's not a lot of turnover. The moms that I have met are not my style at all, they are the fake boob/louis vuitton types, so I have no desire to be around that. Maybe there are some hidden gems. I have no choice but to give it more time to tell [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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That's funny- sounds just like my neighborhood. My DH and I joke that we should start having loud parties or something to make these neighbors move out. But the few moms I've met in my neighborhood are kind of... bland. Like, "Panera has the best lunches!" "Kohls has a great sale today!" "I sell 'Thirty-One' bags if you need a new diaper bag" types. I feel bad being judgy but I also just want to find a few like minded moms who also don't support MLM, shop at Kohls, or think Panera is fine dining. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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YES! bland!! The day I moved in, a neighbor in her 40s or 50s was walking her dog in front of our house and then we started talking and wound up exchanging numbers. The next day she asked me if I wanted to go to Homegoods with her, like that's the most exciting thing they do around here. I got so depressed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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Yeah.... sigh. I mean it was nice that she invited you though! That's what I tell myself whenever my 55 year old neighbor invites me over for a cocktail hour with our other 55 year old neighbors (and I'm pregnant so I can't even imbibe, hah). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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It was nice! She was a little strange so I didn't want to really ignite any kind of relationship. What I don't understand is, EVERYONE says "the suburbs are so good for raising a family!" and how there are tons of families here, but it really is a ton of people in their 50s and all the young kids and strollers seem more abundant in the city. Maybe our generation doesn't want to move to the suburbs and it's just an old stereotype? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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this entire post seems fake lol, or maybe you have PPD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 05:58 AM Flag
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This was me. I was invited to an ornament exchange party across the street and I was excited to meet new ppl. It was all moms. I yet to have kids. Worked like crazy and was commuting to city for work. I left work early that day to attend this thing -- I was in jeans and sweater -- I arrive and felt so out of place. They were in pearls and dresses. They were gossiping about whoever walked through the door. I stayed for about 15 minutes and headed out. Got home, cried and called my DH to see if we can move back. I'm now here 15 years. I'm looking forward to moving back but it's been a good place to raise my DCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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I posted above that I moved to our suburb in November. I was invited to a holiday party across the street just for "the ladies"- I was so excited to go, I dressed up to make a good impression, I was ready!- and I was the only one under 45. People were talking about college apps for their kids. I'm in my early 30s and have a 2 year old and am pregnant with another. I felt so deflated. It's not that they weren't nice, it's just that I wanted to desperately to meet other moms of young kids and find my little group, like I had back in the city. I'm hoping i will find them this spring/summer when the weather clears and I have a newborn again... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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NP: I have a newborn and a three year old..and having a newborn in the suburbs is so much more isolating than in the city. I was part of a baby group, there were infant meet ups in our park, tons of baby music classes, etc. There's none of that here, I feel bad for him that he's just sort of home all day compared to my first who was out in the world [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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I'm very cognizant of that, yeah. It's harder to get out and just be around other people even if you aren't interacting with them when you're in the burbs. We can walk to a few places so I'm just going to have to make a larger effort, and probably join more mom/baby groups [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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I think the hardest part for me is that we LOVED the preschool where my kid went in the city, and we also knew and loved all the parents there. They were so smart and sociable and interesting and the school was so special. Now we are at a preschool and none of the parents in the class know each other or care to, and when you pass by them they just kind of look through you, with their cheesy blowouts and botox (sorry, judgy I know). It's more of a functional daycare situation, and that's killing me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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^ so im kind of wondering if the school situation is sort of a metaphor for this suburb vs the city: bland, impersonal, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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do you live in florida? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 05:58 AM Flag
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We made a move 18 years ago to a new city and it took me a long time to adjust. I spent the first year (at least) thinking I'd made a huge mistake. But gradually I made friends, felt connected professionally, had DCs and met other parents, got involved in activities and a lifestyle that I've truly come to enjoy. I truly think that it's hard to evaluate the decision until about 2 years. It took me a full year just to figure out where to get a great Italian meal, a doctor, a hair salon, etc. Now, whenever I go back to my hometown city (where family still lives), I look forward to coming home. And by home, I mean my "new" city. It could get better. Four months isn't enough time. Give it a chance before you move back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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I think you need to give it more time. I have lived in a lot of places & it took a good year to feel settled. Some of the places were awful but after the first year, I was OK. You also need to make an effort to be happy too if you kwim. Get out, get involved. Don't think it will come knocking on your door. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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Why did you leave, though? I couldn’t do most of the stepford nyc suburbs either (but not could I do nyc itself). But maybe you are just in the wrong burb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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I left because I couldn't afford the space where I wanted to live. But looking back, I should have just bought a smaller place in an area I know I would have liked living [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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With 2 dcs, are you prepared to deal with the uncertain school situation? Also - as poster above mentioned, it seems like it would be v isolating in the burbs with babies/toddlers. But then it seems like it would be much more convenient, with more community, as dcs become elementary age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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yea- i don't know or understand how people in the city deal with the really terrible schools, but they do. I probably would have figured out a way too. I guess they are clamoring for good charter schools? I wasn't at that point yet so I really don't know. The elementary school here is highly rated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:05 AM Flag
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We moved to the burbs a year and a half ago. I hated it at first but it's slowly getting better. I'll always prefer the city but my kids love it here. I need to remind myself not to be negative and think about the positives. Not sure what town you are in, but in mine kids are everywhere!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:36 AM Flag
[ - ] DH is such a useless ass. He’s a SAHD and one of his duties is to take DD to her activities. She wants to quit everything because apparently DH keeps telling her that he doesn’t want to take her there. What did I marry?!? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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A loser [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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A disappointing partner. I had one of these. Got rid of him. Divorced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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Are you paying him maintenance? Does he have an income now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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No and yes he makes an income. He was SAHD for 2 years because he was let go bc he wasn't playing the political game correctly. He was offered a great oppty and he turned it down with no job in hand bc he said he could do better. He tried going back after cockily rejecting them -- they said never in a million years. Ex DH turned out to be a liability. He doesn't get putting others first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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wow, nice way to talk about the man you married and fathered your children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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Ah, you're one of those, aren't you? You're the type that stays with your DH even after he calls you a whore and beats you. Wow. Nice way to model to your children on how to cut off toxic relationships. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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Hey, truth is truth. Thankfully, my DCs have me to show them how a real parent steps up. His loss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:14 AM Flag
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A lot of men hide their true colors until after marriage/children. Surely you grasp this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:50 PM Flag
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Many men are disappointing partners. I don’t know what’s wrong with our society or perhaps the generation that is currently dad-aged but there are more bad ones than not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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Your attitude sucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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sorry DUDE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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If a DH was dictating his SAHW’s “duties”, would posters here possibly maybe think he has a bad attitude and was just a tiny bit sexist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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She didn’t say she dictates. As the SAHParent, it’s a given that you deal w your Kids after school activities. Making the kid feel like they are a burden is shitty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:38 AM Flag
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That’s the worst part. He doesn’t disagree with his wife about an activity or discuss whether it’s excessive. He manipulates the kid to try to get himself out of doing a (light, easy, kinda fun because you get to watch your kid do an activity she likes) task. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:45 PM Flag
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He sounds depressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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I love how the women of UB chalks everything up to depressed when it comes to incompetent whiny DHs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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“Depressed” holds out hope that there’s some way to fix him. Maybe not, in a lot of instances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:46 PM Flag
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He’s the primary caregiver. He gets to decide DC’s schedule and activities, not you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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Unless he’s failing, then it’s not solely his decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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this is terrible and could destroy her self esteem. you need to get a babysitter or a friend or family member to take her to these activities so she doesn't get discouraged [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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Did you and dh decide together which activities and when? Why doesn't he want to go, is it a put to get to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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It may be, but he should discuss it with his wife not guilt-trip the kid so that she announces she wants to quit as though it’s the kid’s idea. That’s weak. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:47 PM Flag
[ - ] DD will likely be going to Speyer next year (W. 59th St/9th Ave). Where would you ideally live to have an easy commute to school and a nice family-friendly area? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Central Park West, like W 60+ St on CPW. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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West 60s are pretty sterile and not really family friendly. I'd look at West End Ave above 72nd (where the pre-war buildings start). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Lincoln Towers is incredibly family friendly. Not pretty but full of families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:06 PM Flag
[ - ] What should I read? Something gripping yet realistic. Any recs? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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What have you liked recently? I'm sure it's cliche but I thought All The Light We Cannot See was gripping and realistic. I thought The Goldfinch was gripping, but not at all realistic and with very one dimensional characters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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I liked both of these. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Anything by Jon Krakauer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Bad blood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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+++++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 09:15 AM Flag
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Too bad it has to be realistic. The Martian is great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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We Need to Talk about Kevin, History of Lonliness [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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Educated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 09:17 AM Flag
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+1. Amazing story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:28 PM Flag
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little fires everywhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:07 PM Flag
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History Mom - have you read Unbroken? Amazing story of survival. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:34 PM Flag
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^^but not Underground Railroad. That was one strange book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 04:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Is the seven year itch still a phrase with newer generations? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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It doesn’t really make sense now even if it did back when the movie came out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:49 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone been to a preliminary divorce hearing? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Yes, ask me anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do Smith and Wellesley seem out of favor these days? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Kids prefer city universities now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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hardly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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People are not wanting to be fat and eat steak so often anymore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Not a great analogy . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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LOL That is how I read it, too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Not sure why you're saying this: "For the 11th year in a row, applications to Smith reached a record high, says Audrey Smith, the college’s vice president for enrollment." 2/16/18 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Applications have reached record highs at EVERY college for the past 15 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Wellesley is rated top 10 LA school right? While education is top notch, social life is zero. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Yeah. No thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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My neighbor went there. Her social life was fine. She hing out with people from other schools. For Ub types who care, she had an MIT fiancee by 24. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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Hillary Clinton went there I think. And maybe Barbara Pierce Bush but I don’t think she graduated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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Barbara (and Nancy Reagan too) went to Smith. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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I read that Katie Couric was not admitted( their loss) and ended up going to UVA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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They have an extensive list of accomplished alumni. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Wellesley_College_people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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These are schools that punch higher than their weight. Relatively high acceptance rates with academics equal to the top schools in the country. If a young woman wants an academically rigorous school, but does not have the stats for HYP etc., Smith, Wellesley, and Mt. Holyoke are great choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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I think they've both risen considerably in the last 5 years. Great schools with lots of offer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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Wellesley attracts more applicants than Smith because it's strong in the sciences and close to Boston. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Why are animal rescue people so over the top? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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Are you talking about the people doing the rescue or the people on the receiving end? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:00 AM Flag
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Running the rescue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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Please define "over the top" because I don't understand what you mean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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See below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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I'd rather spend the extra money to find a pet through a breeder. Those shelter people are nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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Same! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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My old neighbor used to be involved in a rescue group. Her home was hoard-ish with dogs dogs dogs. Once she had a litter of 8 puppies living in her bathtub. She used to get big boxes of raw organ meats delivered and would sort/toss livers and hearts on the driveway. Her heart was in the right place, but her property (in an affluent ‘hood) was a disaster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Barf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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That’s mental illness [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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Anytime anyone asks for a dog breeder recommendation on the neighborhood Facebook page, there is always someone shaming them choosing not to adopt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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This is just absurd to me. I've heard that this rescue mom's DC is IVF. Maybe I should start shaming her for not adopting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Btw, both of my sister's kids are IVF; I'm a big proponent, just making an analogy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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I say this an animal-lover, many people relate better to animals than other people and it's usually not because of how well-adjusted they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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Oh God, this x100000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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Ha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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Not too bright [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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What do you mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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I recently got a puppy from a breeder and told a mom at dc's school about it. "Please tell me you got her from a rescue" was her initial response. She commanded me to insist on an alternative vaccination schedule for my puppy and condemned how early my puppy was weaned (9 weeks) in that first conversation. I messaged her last night because I was returning unopened food (because my vet said he recommends against grain free food) and a new dog bed to Chewy.com and they told me to donate it. Instead of just accepting and saying thanks, she instantly jumped on me about my new dog food and sent me a bunch of reading material. I am just speechless. My last dog was a rescue (and was wonderful but had some aggression issues). I tried to get a rescue this time but the rescues make it SO difficult (like they won't ship a dog unless you come meet her first). This whole experience makes me never want anything to do with a rescue again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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Ship a dog? Like shipping a sweater? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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Curious if this woman has any pets? We also got our dog from a breeder but after seeing the place I’m pretty sure we rescued him ... people are insane (& I’ve “rescued” shelter dogs and found them homes too, I don’t want them to die but unfortunately also can’t trust them around my babies.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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ok, so I went to adopt kittens for my kid. I just put my 19yo cat down. Mind you I had this cat for 19 years, I let her out during the day if she wanted to go out, but she mostly slept inside all day. The woman refused to let me adopt the kittens BECAUSE I HAD A JOB, she was like, who's going to watch them all day. I didn't tell her about my first cat only that I had one for 19 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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So sorry about your cat, hope you're allowed to get a new one soon! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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My daughter was dying for a cat, we found a cute one at a private shelter. The rules stated that the whole family must come in to meet the cat. There was NO WAY my DH do this, LOL. So i lied, said I was a single mom, and we got the cat. She lived to be 19, I don’t think DH eve knew her name as she was very aloof and preferred to live outside. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Ha, so true, they make me ill. Well bred dogs are awesome, you don't find well bred dogs at the shelter, you find poorly bred mixes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Many breed rescue organizations pull dogs out of the shelters especially after a day or two. So while your assertion is technically true it’s definitely not the full story. Research dogs, find a breed that’s right for your family/ lifestyle and perhaps contact that breed rescue org. You can also have more than one dog- one from a breeder one from rescue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:54 AM Flag
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Because they’ve seen a lot of abuse and neglect. They know not to trust anyone without checking them out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Odd cat question -our cat is 12 and has always been anxious, he is a worrier. In the past year he has gotten so old looking and feeble. We have an 18 year old cat who looks better. Vet says he is ok. do some cats just age worse than others? Never seen this before and have had cats all my life. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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They are all individuals, so yes. I have a super healthy and stocky 8 year old and the four year old has her own weird health problems and never grew full size. They are both adopted, so don't know backgrounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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Yes, some cats age worse than others. I have had a cat who ended up at 18 without the problems I'm seeing with my 9 year old. He's pooping right in front of me, and the litterboxes are clean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:53 AM Flag
[ - ] how many miles is your commute? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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Probably around 6.5 miles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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8.8 miles - on subway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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11 blocks. (I walk - and have told DH we can never move.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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About 22 Miles I think [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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2 and change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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I walk to work - it takes me 45 minutes to go a little over 2 1/2 miles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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That's a pretty damn fast walk if it includes stopping at crosswalks every block. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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34 miles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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how long does it take? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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35 min door to door. It’s not ideal, but I have a Prius and a lot of podcasts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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it's not terrible though. 34 miles around me would take an hour and a half [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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Oh and only 10-12 days a month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 08:57 AM Flag
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2 miles - subway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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Half a block [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Mine is about to be about 10 steps down the staircase! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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7.5 miles. But takes almost an hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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1.5 miles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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Ugh, 75 miles, each way. But I only work at the office five days a pay period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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20 miles -- can take up to an hour and a half [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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14 can take 25 minutes or an hour [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 03:02 AM Flag
[ - ] Anybody have a sex dream lately? Did you O in it? Please tell me I am not weird or the only one. I had two in one night! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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I did a month or so but I’m also pregnant which makes everything down there a little weird [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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I used to get those a lot during my first trimesters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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I had one in a nap today. It was so awful I can’t even repeat it. Where did that come from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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yep totally! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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Happens almost every night when I'm pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.22.19, 12:35 PM Flag
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