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[ - ] Good time waster websites--besides this one. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:43 PM Flag
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Smitten Kitchen, College Confidential [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:45 PM Flag
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Agree, sort of, with CC, but stay off the "chance me" threads; they will scare you if this is your first go-round with college admissions. The parent forums, and specific college forums, can be very helpful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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I like the chance me section- doesn't scare me. I think it keeps it in perspective and let's me know what we're going to have to deal with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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As long as you know what they are, don't let them get you too low or take you too high. They mean nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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Reddit is the ultimate time waster. I also like the lists on Vulture, and previously.tv if you are a tv watcher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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I play online solitaire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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YouTube [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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NY Times puzzles, especially Spelling Bee and Tiles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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Crazy days and nights [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone actually know families who have left their private schools? Seems like this is often discussed but rarely done. If so, where do they go and why? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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private school altogether, or transfer to another private? When I was touring schools I met a mom who switched her DD from Spence to Speyer after K. She said it wasn't challenging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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Yes a friend took her son out and put him into a G& T program in public in 1st grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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Left intentionally or were counseled out or expelled? I've known both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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Expelled from where? and why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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Drugs. Fighting. Cheating. Vandalism. Alcohol policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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I know someone who left ECFS for Spence. And someone who left Speyer for Riverdale, but at the end of elementary. Kids switch a lot for all kinds of reasons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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Yes. Know someone who left ECFS for Speyer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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Of course..one friend was appalled at the attitude her kids were striking ('how many square feet is your cottage?) and realized she didn't want her DDs especially to grow up to be like some of the moms from that school/other spoiled women she knew. She put them in good publics and they all grew up awesome (3 kids). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:43 PM Flag
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My dd went to ELRO. There were a good number of families who had come from private school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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DD was in a small private school in Brooklyn during K and elementary, and at the time it was great. However, the school began to lean more heavily on special ed programs, and while I have no problem with that, it became unbalanced. We moved her to an all-girls Catholic school and it was the right decision at the time for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:45 PM Flag
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Be honest. 3-4 per year out of 40 per grade (2 classes), mostly because of money, at DS’s k-8, Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:58 PM Flag
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It seems quite common. I know of several. Two famlies moved their daughters from coed to SS schools one at 5th grade, the other at 7th grade. Two families who moved kids to Hill Schools. Another one family who switched to public after one year. Two families who switched to schools that offered special support. They all had their reasons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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Several who moved from a costly 2T school to Basis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Left private for zoned public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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Watching this thread. DC has been at same private since k (now 6th) and seems to be noticing the lack of diversity. Her reports are glowing, but she comes home grumpy almost every day. We're already committed for this upcoming year. Wondering at what ages people make the transition and how smoothly it went (middle school is tough enough). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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sure - several actually. all went to public schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Yes. Kid left Trinity for Riverdale following middle school. They say he just wanted something less stressful (although everyone seems to assume counseled out). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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Yes, a number will jump up for high school. My DD jumped Marymount to Trinity. There were a number of other all girls to Trinity in her grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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I've known people who began in public, left for private MS, and then left for public HS. Only one was about money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:22 AM Flag
[ - ] S/O on public universities. It seems like many of the UCs are ranked as top 50 universities. Can people from California provide some clarity? 68 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:17 PM Flag
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It's a strong state system, has been for a long time. The best public universities in the country imho. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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There are others that are top as well but only a handful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:21 PM Flag
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says someone who doesn't live in CA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:56 PM Flag
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I am saying there are other state schools, such as UVA and UNC and U Mich that are also too, but not that many. Only Berkeley and UCLA are in the top 25 category. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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This exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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Which one is best after UCLA/Berkeley? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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depends on what you are studying. They are are almost all extremely competitive now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:37 PM Flag
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and depending on major it may take 5 yrs to get a degree because they are impacted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Do they charge by credit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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Are you asking if it works out to the same as 4 yrs? If so, no. It is 5 yrs of college costs instead of 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:53 PM Flag
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But tuition for a year at a UC is about $15,000, compared to $50,000+ at a private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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yes, but cost of attendance is closer to 30k in state, 60k out of state. Add in another year of attendance and it could be significant. A lot of top CA students also apply to out of state flagships where they may get scholarships and/or be able to graduate in 4 yrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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This, I know a lot of people from our HS going to out of state flagships like Oregon. The other option is CC and transfer to a UC for 2 years but where I live this really isn't a thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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Tuition is relatively low for in-state and students often live at home to save money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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California is really big. Yes, this happens, but it is hard to get in the UCs and at this point, top kids are lucky to get in to whichever one accepts them for their major. While their family may live in commuting distance to *a* UC, it may not be the one they get in to. I live in the bay area and top kids have gone to UCSD, UCSB, UCDavis, Cal Poly. I also know top kids with great stats who didn't get in except to Merced. We live near a UC and cant bank on our kids getting in to that one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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The SAT scores for enrolled UCLA students ranges from 1230 to 1490 for the 25 to 75 percentile. Easier than a lot of top privates. Still a real asset for people who live in CA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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but that's only part of the calculus--they look at a CA GPA which has different kinds of measures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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^and they really want first-gen students [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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But the housing is really expensive and cramped [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:01 AM Flag
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Which ones aren’t as good maybe is the right question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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Cal mom here: My DS graduated HS in June. ALL the UCs are very hard to get into. Even the "easy" ones (Riverside, Santa Cruz) are not shoo-ins for most kids nowadays who qualify for the Uc schools (generally have to be in the top 9% of your class or the state. There is a rubric for applying). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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And there's a certain number of AP courses (8 or 9) you have to take to have a decent shot in state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:58 PM Flag
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Merced and Riverside are probably the lowest ranked ones (but probably due to being less popular because of location!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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Merced is only 13 yrs old and has a 74% acceptance rate. It is a UC though. But it is much easier to get in to (less competitive) because it is new. I am not sure I would say isn't as good though. Depends on how you define good. It probably holds its own/is better than the Cal states except for Cal Poly, which is hard to get in to and excellent rep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:50 PM Flag
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It may have a much better reputation by the time my 10 is going to college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:50 PM Flag
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but Merced will still be Merced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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True [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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Yes it is a very strong system and competition to get in is very tough, kids with top SATs and grades often only get in to the lower ranked ones like Merced. I live in LA and even the very rich want their kids to go to a UC. Ones that used to be lesser ranked like UCSB are top schools now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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I want my kid to go to UCSB, doesn’t have a shot at UCLA. Out of state. I saw overall acceptance rate at UCSB is about 30%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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Me too! Seems like such an amazing place to go to school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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Mine turned it down, but I kind of wish she hadn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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Is it impossible to get into the UC schools out of state? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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No. It is just as hard as in state or just slightly harder. They are no one's safety schools though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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The average grades and test scores for the out of state students are actually better than for the in state students. So it is harder to get in from out of state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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I think that's because they use a different metric--the instate applicant has a special GPA where you get points from APs and honors. But you need a LOT of APs to be in the running for UCB or UCLA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:03 AM Flag
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wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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Only UCLA and Berkeley are super competitive for out of state students. if you are willing to pay out of state tuition for CA schools you have other options and won’t be sending your kid to UC Irvine to save a few bucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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super competitive for in-state, too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:01 AM Flag
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This! Most of the UCs cap out of state enrollment at 19% but UCLA and Cal have an exception, meaning that it's much higher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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NP, there’s also the mandate to accept more transfer students who are part of the in-state numbers; the number of resident first-time freshmen at UCLA and Cal actually decreased last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:52 AM Flag
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This is for freshmen applicants. That would apply to transfers. The out of state kids havr better stats. It is like that at UVA, UNC and UMich as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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My DC graduated from a competitive LA-area HS. A significant number of kids who were accepted at Ivy/Ivy-caliber schools opted for UCs for financial reasons mostly. No reason to go into huge debt when the job prospects are excellent either way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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Our HS is like this too even though the parents can afford Ivy/top privates they would rather their kids go to UCAL etc. Of course a lot of them went to UC schools so that plays into it as well. I never hear anyone talking about shooting for an ivy, its all about UCLA (apart of course from the people that went to USC...) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:03 PM Flag
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Same. I am in bay area and it is all about Stanford and Cal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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I’m, those schools are not the same as UCLA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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Cal is UC Berkeley, so same system as UCLA, same tuition rules apply [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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+1, it's been like this even in early 90s, no news here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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I got into Cal but chose a small LAC in Northeast that gave me great FA instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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My experience also. A kid at DC's school got into Stanford and Harvard, but chose UCLA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:56 PM Flag
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You only do this if you can’t afford Stanford. No way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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that was indeed the issue, UMC family but not rich [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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Do you have a specific question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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Here's the downside: they're huge and overcrowded, the housing is terrible, classes are enormous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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There's also the CSU system with some good schools: CSU Fullerton, Northridge, Monterey Bay, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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You are 2 decades too late with that info. UC schools, at least UCB and UCLA had been in top 25 and even top 20 for a looong while and also have top 3 and top 5 grad school programs in several areas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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I don’t think the whole system has always been ranked so high. And UCLA 30 yeas ago was not considered so desirable. Berkeley always was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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+1 But UCLA was a big deal in the 80s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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I live very close to UC Berkeley, in driving distance and lived in Berkeley for a few years before moving to a nearby city. UCs are large research universities where research is a high priority for the academic personnel compared to undergrad teaching performance. In undergrad, I hear from many people that students mostly deal with TAs instead of professors. Undergrads say the first year is the worst and they call some of the classes as weeder classes. The claim is that the classroom size and relationship with the professors get better as the seniority increases. So no guarantees, especially if your DC is accustomed to smaller class sizes and direction; these two factors concern us very much as DS will apply this year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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the weeder class phenomenon is common in some STEM majors at other places with smaller class sizes, such as USC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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I'm not worried about the weeder classes that much but more for lack of direction as DS works really great with direction. He already plans to go to medical school and the relationship with professors is also very important. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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Look at USC, I know a kid who got nearly free tuition and ended up doing a summer internship in a research lab at the med school, and as a Freshman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Biology is not a strong program for USC and the student body seems more jockey, popular student types. DS is on the nerdy side, not a party kid at all, I'm afraid he won't be a good fit there; also he's doing a summer internship this summer where ucberkeley students are at the same program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:12 AM Flag
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maybe not but the kid I know is no jock [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:45 PM Flag
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UCSB has more of an undergraduate focus. no professional schools and small percentage of grad students. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 11:02 AM Flag
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I actually like this about it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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we just got back from orientation and i'm pretty happy myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Married moms. How many of your girlfriends are divorced? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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Non of my non-work friends, but two of my colleagues who I'm close to divorced years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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^^ "none" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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^^sorry, and that should be whom. Just rattling off incorrect grammar all day! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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One. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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Two.Both DHs cheated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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Did you see it coming? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:35 PM Flag
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For one, yes. He was always a jerk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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About half [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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I'm also getting into the friends who are widows now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:21 PM Flag
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:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:34 PM Flag
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None [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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I have 5 close girlfriends. Two are divorced. 41yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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A few friends a bunch of aquaintances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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None! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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One [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:32 AM Flag
[ - ] My DD is a failure to launch. I don't know what I did wrong. She graduated college, but cannot hold down a job. She's a responsible kid and as far as I know was normal growing up. She's nearing 30. Advice? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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When she can’t hold a job, does she fall back on you for financial support? Maybe the bird needs to get kicked out of the nest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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This. If you make it easy for her there's no reason for her to change. Why can't she hold a job down? Does she quit or get fired? Did she ever work before graduating? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:58 PM Flag
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Two directions you can go with this - (1) cut her off, make her learn to work for her existence or (2) give her the skills/things necessary to land a man who will support her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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Is she still living at home? If not, do you subsidize her when she gets fired/quits? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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Everyone I knew like this ended up marrying really well and is happy now. I launched awesome and now I’m the breadwinner AND I have primary responsibilities for everything at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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+1 - this is me too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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I always said there was a high price to be paid for being competent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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How does she support herself? I've never heard of anyone who has to pay their own bills having this problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:21 PM Flag
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Can’t or won’t? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:37 PM Flag
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Dos she have any mental illness? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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I was like this until I moved to a big city by myself at 23 and had to support myself. It was hard but I managed and am now successful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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What does "cannot hold down a job" mean? Does she do the bare minimum and get fired? Quit because she is not happy? If you have to work to support yourself, you worry about keeping your job. If you have the fall back of not working because someone will always be there to support you, you can complain and quit over and over. You may think you're helping her but you are the source of the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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My cousin is like this. Late 40s. My theory for my cousin is she is kind of awkward. Socially unsophisticated. My sister and I wonder if may be on the spectrum. I didn’t see this when we were kids and in our 20s. But as many of the cousins have reached personal and professional milestones and she is still trying to find a good job and a good man, it makes me wonder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you be annoyed or take as a compliment? I was at a family wedding recently and my SIL and MIL apparently were talking about my skin/face and saying "she looks too good she must have done something" - and my MIL mentioned this to another SIL and it got back to me. I've had botox on my forehead (most recently a few months ago) but also take insanely good care of my skin, stopped drinking a few years back, work out regularly and sleep like a baby, so my situation has vastly improved since they first met me 15 years ago. At first I was pleased but then I was annoyed - and DH is kind of embarrassed by the comments bc he knows I had botox and thinks is gross. Get over it? Be happy about it? 58 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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Well, you had botox, so they're partially right. Take the good with the bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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+1. It's not your regimen. It's the botox, and since I don't think botox looks "good" and they were talking behind your back, I think they just wanted you to know they know you did botox. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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Nah they have no idea that I know this - they live in Europe and we don't talk much to each other (she's a step MIL, we're not close). They were just gossiping with another of my euro SILs and she told her husband who told mine. I don't think people over there use it as commonly as they do here so it was more of a remarkable thing, but I could be wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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Well, it got back to you pretty easily, so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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+1. And SIL may have spun it to make it sound nicer too. No one says "she looks too good" especially if there is no love lost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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Yeah you're totally right. It's just annoying because I can't f'ing stand either of them ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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If it makes you feel better, they're talking about you because you DO look good. There's no crime. Let'em chatter, who cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:44 PM Flag
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They just suck so incredibly hard. But yeah thanks - I do look better now than I did a few years ago, botox works but if I can spot it on other people of course people can spot it on me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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+1. if you're going to get botox, people get to wonder if you got botox. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Yeah I guess that’s the bottom line. It’s worth it to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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But you did have the botox. You may have taken insanely good scare of your skin, sleep, no alcohol, work out ... but in the end you still felt like you needed that push. That's all they're referring to. You can tell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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regardless of the details, you look good, they're taking notice and being little ninnies gossiping, let it go and keep doing your thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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You’re life will be easier if you stop giving a shit. Also, why on earth would you tell DH you got Botox? You don’t need to share everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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You’re so right - no need, but I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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Well, how was she going to explain her now smooth brow? DH's can be clueless, but not THAT clueless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:16 PM Flag
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Mine is. He has no idea. Zero none. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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Then, why do it if he doesn't even notice your face? For whom are you doing it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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Op: for real?!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:26 PM Flag
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Maybe she does it for herself. You only try to look good for your DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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No. That's why I'm asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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OP he never would have noticed. You give men a lot of credit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:22 PM Flag
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OR - Oh yes they can be. I have Botox and DH has NO idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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I don't know. I don't get botox but DH will notice it on our friends. He'll say, "Man, Wendy looks a lot different. Something is off." I have to tell him it's Botox or filler but he definitely notices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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There’s good and bad. Subtle and extreme. A lot of people have it but you can’t tell - they just look good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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+1 Also, I think some people conflate simple botox with the whole "real housewives" botox, check and lip filler regime. Good botox, unless you had an ungodly furrowed brow and lots of forehead wrinkles, on its own, should be subtle. Botox with fillers can be very different--I think cheek fillers are very easy to spot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Then, where are all these people who look inexplicably good? I have never seen someone and said, "Oh my! You suddenly look so great!" I have, however, seen many people and said, "Oh my! She lost weight!" Or "Oh my! She got botox!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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This. I am 46 with friends around the same. Some get botox, some get fillers. Some don't. All are wealthy and go to top specialists. None of us look any better or worse than the others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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Op: oh I see a pretty wide variety at my kids’ school. Some definitely look better or worse than others. Generally anything done to lips is obvious and looks bad. Decent/good Botox I can spot but it doesn’t dramatically change a face if done well. My doc has a light touch - too light I think sometimes for what I pay! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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Most just look a bit better and it helps them feel a bit better about themselves. Why is this so hard to grasp? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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I don't know. Seems pretty straightforward to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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I don't know either. Try this: If it's enough to make a difference in the mirror, it's enough for people to notice it's botox. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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I wonder why anyone would go to a doctor and get the bad, extreme botox then, especially in NYC, where there are so many top tier docs and so much wealth. Someone needs to tell them there is a good/subtle option. Hollywood, too. You would think THEY would know about it. Hmm... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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It’s hard to get old and people chase what they think will make them look better. Many go overboard. Many do not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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Seriously. I've done botox for years, and DH doesn't have a clue. No one really does. I'm surprised at the number of people on here who apparently have never seen well done Botox. Or they have, but have no idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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I live in NYC, travel to L.A. frequently and was a model so I have many model friends who pay top dollar. I have seen THE best botox. It's not that it looks bad. It just looks different and in the exact same ways, so it's obvious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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I guess I can't see it. What do you think it looks like? I'm 55, and get one shot once a year between my brows to take away the deep furrow that is otherwise there. Just kind of makes me look not so angry. I don't do anything else, and don't have wrinkles otherwise (thanks, super oily skin). My friends are always surprised to learn that I get botox. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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Well, what are they going to say? "I know." Take a before and after video at your annual visit. You'll see. If your brows can't crease where they are supposed to, they will roll up somewhere else. If you like that better than your original line, then great. Again, it doesn't look bad in most cases, just not normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:06 PM Flag
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Actually, my friends would say "I know"--they're kind of obnoxious that way. But I'll take your video advice. I'm curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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Why would you do it if you honestly felt that it does not look different? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 10:45 AM Flag
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Because without it I get a deep line between my brows that makes me look angry. When I maintain the botox there is no line. And it doesn't really "change" my natural brow line as much as put it back where it used to be (i.e. no furrow). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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Or the money, that’s a big violn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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Bill [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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You're getting ahead of yourself: the first lesson is not to tell anything to these people if you don't want the whole world to know it. Regarding your actual question, I'd say it's a compliment: you're the one who looks good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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I only told dh and shouldn’t have even done that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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I'm with your hubby [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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I used to be with my hubby too - until I tried it. Done well it’s such an easy small improvement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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I do Botox for the lines in between my Eyebrows that are minor. Otherwise I don’t have forehead wrinkles. I do it every 7 or 8 months. I don’t think you can. Notice anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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^^and I agree with you OP the other stuff matters. If you are in shape and don’t drink and eat healthy your skin looks way better. The best thing for my face is regular workouts where I sweat a lot. And a good nights sleep. Which exercise and not drinking help to happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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People are so stupid about this stuff. That's all I'd think. Who cares? Do men care that much? No. It's a f*cking joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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I can’t believe you’re posting about this on ub. Hold yourself to a higher standard. If you’re that bothered by botox don’t do it. If you repeat botox stfu and say nothing to anyone. Lesson learned. Congrats on exercising sleeping not drinking etc those are great lifestyles. Ub can only speculate about your in-laws. We know them even less than you do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:55 PM Flag
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You did something. They noticed. What is the problem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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How much IS light botox, btw? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:42 PM Flag
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Presumably you did the botox so that people would think your skin looks great? Yes?? And they noticed. So that's a win. WHAT IS YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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You had botox, who cares. Just own it. Am 45 and I know maybe two people who have NOT had botox. it's not a big deal, but you aren't natural if that's what you want them to think.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 10:29 AM Flag
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First, ask your SIL to stop carrying info. like some maniac gossip ant. Second, just tell them you stay out of the sun. I suspect that every celebrity (hello, J Lo) who says it is all clean living, has had a ton of work done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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OP: thanks everyone - I get it, I did something and it worked and they noticed, end of story. I didn’t like that they were talking about it but it’s totally normal that they would. The fact that they are both she-devils is a side issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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They are right, you had Botox! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Had a dream in which I was visiting someone else home. Found worms in fridge in all food. Worms under leaves of house plants. I was trying to get rid of them all night. Does it means anything ? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:31 PM Flag
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That's very bizarre that you had that dream, because last week I had an absolute nightmare where my cat (who is an indoor cat) had gone outside and when she came in, her body was crawling with worms. I'm not a dream interpreter but there's probably some underlying thing that's bothering you and it exhibited itself this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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All dreams are the manifestation of fear. It's not literal. I.e., it doesn't necessarily mean you are afraid of worms. It's any fear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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Huh. I've had the dreams where a little animal is trying to bite me over and over again and it won't stop and I can't get rid of it. But so far no worms yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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OP: was sleeping at friends house last night who is dealing with cancer. May be that’s what my underlying fear was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have an irritant free life, meaning no annoying co-workers, great kids, loving husband, etc. The birds are singing and the animals come and help you with your laundry? Wondering if this is possible. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:22 PM Flag
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I have great relationships with everyone in my life, from family to work and beyond. Life itself isn't irritant-free though. There's always something nagging at me or something that needs to be done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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I have all that and more (save for the birds) and it's still not irritant free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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same here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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Yep - agree with earlier responders - I have what you describe - amazing DH, love my job and the company, easy, great kids, etc. etc - and life still has irritants. I would describe myself as as happy and content, but life is far from perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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I have almost an ideal life, to me (not sure it would suit others). I like my job but only have to work when I feel like it. No household help, but I don’t mind housework. DH is an excellent husband and father. My child is 11 and not only very fun and agreeable, she is actually useful now (she’s had chores since she turned three). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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What job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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I have worked really hard to get rid of irritants in my life. My dh is great and makes me laugh, my adult dd is my pride and joy. I have my own business that I am free to run however I want. I have a couple of great best friends. I rarely have anything on my calendar and that's the way I like it. I almost never do anything I don't want to do. Having said that though, I am dealing with a heart condition and some kind of strange anxiety disorder that's kinda ruining my life right now. Nothing is ever perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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Yes, my name is Snow White. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:14 AM Flag
[ - ] My 8 year old still loves me so much, but my 11 yo doesn’t care much for me anymore. I know it’s normal but it breaks my heart nonetheless. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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He just needs you less, is all. Of course he still loves you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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This. Was going to say this exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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Well, she barely talks to me and if she says something it’s just to express annoyance with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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She is preparing you for her adolescence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:22 PM Flag
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Older mom here. My daughter was 3 years older than my son too. He will still love you when he hits puberty. Girls like to sharpen their verbal claws on their moms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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NP: girls also learn from their moms. Just throwing that out there. My teen DD and I get along great. It may not be the huggy/kissy relationship when she was a child, but she's a really cool kid. Maybe I got lucky but it bothers me when I see these generalizations about girls on here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:18 PM Flag
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That’s valid. I was afraid to talk to my mom the way she talks to me though. I held it inside. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:26 PM Flag
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OP. Ok, so now it’s all my fault... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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It is always the mom's fault. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:55 AM Flag
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Haha, that's a good way to put it. Sharpening their claws. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:22 PM Flag
[ - ] The old age filter only emphasizes we're all going to lose our looks eventually. Are you okay with that? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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I'm already old. Nothing I can do it about. Just enjoy the life you're given. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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Isn't that the one you're not supposed to use [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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I feel out of the loop, someone clue me in, please? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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First OR: I assume OP is talking about the filter going around on Facebook where you put in your present picture and it shows what you might look like older. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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It was on every news channel this morning. FaceApp. Don't use it because it's owned by Russians and it has backdoor permissions to steal your information and whatever original photos you provide to them. It's information gathering software. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:22 PM Flag
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Better than the alternative of dying young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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Paulina Porizkova's instagram has her with no makeup on one side, and aging makeup on the other. She still looks beautiful, just faded in a way that I didn't expect. Like she came in deeper colors 30 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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Of course. Much better than the other option [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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Except for Paul Rudd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] When do kids start phasing out of toys and into gift cards for birthday presents? Is it ever a lame idea to give an older child an actual present? Will I get an eye roll? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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I phone with my DD that girl still gave actual gifts for as long as there were birthday parties but with DS the boys shifted to gift cards by fifth grade or so. It’s kind of ridiculous it’s like they’re all just giving each other money all the time but whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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Depends how close. DD will pick out a gift for very close friends because she knows what they like. For others, it's a little harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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^^and she's 12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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For my son's 10 year birthday party, we received a number of gift cards. Its now my go to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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I would never give a gift card, except for bar/bat mitzvah presents. We give clothes/accessories/books/makeup. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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My 11 year old still likes to get actual presents to open, but he likes gift cards too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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13 yo DD did GCs from about 8-10, then started quirky "inside joke" presents (tshirt of DD and DF's favorite 80s movie, for example) and elaborate cards with long messages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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My dd (12) always get gifts for her friends. My son always gets gift cards. We live in the burbs and the kids hang out a lot so I get a few small gift cards to the stores they go (ice cream, pizza, Dunkin). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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I think we're done doing physical gifts for niece and nephew. They just turned 12 and 10. The 12 yr old was whiny and bratty about it, the 10 yo was fine. But I think moving forward we'll just do GCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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My son received a bunch of gift cards at his last birthday- turned 7. I thought it was great. He's my youngest so we don't necessarily want more toys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Did a boy ever make you a mix-tape? What were the songs on it? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town & Lady by Styx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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Yes, my college boyfriend made a bunch of them. Husker Du, Sonic Youth, The Replacements, The Pixies, Echo & the Bunnymen, Joy Division, etc. I think I still have those down in the storage room somewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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Yes! My husband actually made me one when we got engaged (this was a looooong time ago). It was really cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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My new boyfriend made one for me. Now that I look back at it, the songs were so dorky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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Little Willie John, Johnny Ace, some early rock and roll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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Squeeze, English Beat, Meatloaf, Elvis Costello, Fleetwood Mac and Steely Dan. Am old! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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Yes, my puppy love in HS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:53 AM Flag
[ - ] What's your (personal) mission statement? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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Is that in the sense of something you put on a resume, or just describing how you roll through this crazy life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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What do you want out of life, what value(s) lease your decision making [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Which do you consider really good state schools? Here’s is my list. U Mich, UVA, UNC, Madison, UCLA, Berkeley, UF, and lately have been looking at UCSB and UGa and thinking they looked pretty good. There’s also Georgia Tech. Any others I’m missing, or do you disagree with any of these? I know some are clearly more at the top but I am trying to put together a comprehensive list. Thanks! 102 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:43 PM Flag
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UF? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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Yes, increasingly difficult to get into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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They have some kind of an amazing scholarship program for top students who can go for free so a lot of kids logically choose that for undergrad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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np - it's got a 46% acceptance rate! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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Recently it has dropped into the 30’s. That is an old number. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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It is easily one of the top 10 state schools. It has a good alumni network all over the east coast and is well respected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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The Big Ten schools are building a network of Big Ten (now 14 universities, mostly public) and non-Big Ten universities, along with tech, so that the next generation doesn't go to one university. You might graduate from the University of Maryland, but you will likely spend two of your years at other universities with specialized programs and specific mentors, and you will take a lot of your classes online and in virtual classrooms around the country and in other countries. Michigan is a good place to start, to be part of that over the rest of your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:11 AM Flag
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And if you are thinking tech: Scientists from the University of Wisconsin-Madison have found a way to create artificially intelligent glass that can recognize images without using sensors, circuits or a power source. The glass uses light propagation and could be used in smartphones as part of Face ID without draining the battery. - WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:25 AM Flag
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Uh, UT?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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Yes, I missed that one. Also William and Mary I forget that’s public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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I had no idea William and Mary is public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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We hire many Cal Poly SLO grads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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Great engineering programs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Where is your company? I would love for my ods to go there but I am worried it will track him to the bay area for a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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Sorry, got busy and forgot to check back. We have locations all over, the biggest groups are in the Puget Sound area, Southern California, St. Louis, Texas, Arizona and South Carolina. We have very little in the Bay Area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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Rutgers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:05 PM Flag
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Really? I am thinking of schools you’d pay to go to out of state. I’ll have to check it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:07 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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Rutgers is not in the same league as the schools listed above. It may be a good school but it's hardly comparable to UVA, Berkeley, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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Op: I am looking for a comprehensive list that would definitely include schools not at the level of UVA or Berkeley. I mean I have UGa on my list! But I think there’s also something cool about the town of Athens and not sure the Rutgers town has that feel. Thanks for all feedback. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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New Brunswick is an amazing college town. 5 colleges with uni. Good arts music scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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Rutgers is a top tier research institution [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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agree and I don't live in NJ but am a prof [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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Rutgers is Big Ten now, fwiw [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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Binghamton [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:09 PM Flag
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Op: I wish this seemed really god because I live in New York, but I kind of put it in the “good” category. Seems to be way behind a lot of the other top state schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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In terms of academics no. In terms of recognition, yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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It is not a school people pay for out of state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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Probably due to the lack of sports, location and lack of rah rah factor. It is a better academic instituion than Ohio State or Penn State [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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And neither of those is on the list of really good schools as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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Bing is also a top tier research institution. Very good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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Bing is not a top tier research institute. Not even close. Stony Brook, albany, and city college all have much better research in NY alone. Rutgers is also better and not too far from NY. Nationally Binghamton barely has a research profile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 09:35 AM Flag
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This. Prof mom here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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I work with a recent Binghamton graduate. He can barely write an English sentence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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that's just him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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If you don't live in California, please stay away from our UCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:12 PM Flag
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Op: tough luck. One of my dc loves California. Your UCs are 10k+ cheaper a year than private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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NP we need your out of state tuition. Carry on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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They aren't taking a spot from your in-state DC. They have a cap on how many out of state students they can take. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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it is very hard to get into the top UCs out of state! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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They're very hard to get into, period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:34 PM Flag
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more non-residents at UCLA and UCB than in-state [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Not according to their website. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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The pool of people applying to UCLA out of state is more competitive. You have people who are also applying to private schools and UC is a little cheaper. The stats for the out of state admits were more competitive than in state. Not sure about the others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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UC are increasing transfers and decreasing numbers of in state freshmen; this changes the stats. In 2018 UCLA decreased CA freshmen by a couple hundred in order to accept more cc kids. A 2.4 GPA is required for transfer students. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:03 AM Flag
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A couple of years ago--maybe 2?--there was a lawsuit on behalf of residents bec the numbers were increasingly low and low bec of $ from out of state students. There's now a cap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Yes, but there were by no means at all “more” nonresidents than residents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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More ca kids in the yield, certainly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:04 AM Flag
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There aren’t MORE non residents than residents, just more than California residents would like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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I’m in California - most of us are nicer and more welcoming. And I really want my kids to attend a UC because they can do so for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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free? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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Do you qualify for a Cal Grant? Housing is also really expensive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Really? You don’t u derstand the value of diversity in college education action? Wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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Most people only appreciate the kind of diversity that favors their own DC's chances of admission. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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University of Illinois at Champaign Urbana. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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For engineering, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Penn - I think it’s reasonable to call it a public Ivy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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Do you mean Penn State? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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Penn State also Big Ten [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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Smeal is great. ignoring penn/penn state poster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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Ugh... there is Penn in Philly, which is an Ivy and not a state school. Then there is Penn State, out in State College, Pa, which is a state school and not an ivy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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NP: this is a long running thing on UB. The Penn State poster. I'm surprised it's reappeared but maybe OR was making a joke on that UB subject of old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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That’s ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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You are an idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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University of Washington? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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Alabama. And check out their scholarship opportunities, which are listed on the website. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:58 PM Flag
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Op: I am actually from a very southern state and wouldn’t send my kid to Alabama. And this school is not near the caliber of the others. I don’t know if I’d even classify it as good. I’d say decent. But not good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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^^sorry if I sound very matter of fact. Not my intention. There are only certain schools I want to pay out of state tuition for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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A good student might be able to attend U of A for next to nothing. Many, many students from my area are going to U of A on full scholarship. No, it isn't "the best", but hey, free for undergrad is the way to go....it's just too bad it has to be in Alabama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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That sounds like a good deal. But I am looking for top state schools you’d consider paying out of state tuition for. I can pay for college but maybe not the full cost of private university. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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Roll Tide [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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Not always a huge fan of lists, but this will open you up to some not on your list that are well regarded: https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities/top-public [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:26 PM Flag
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This is great thanks! Wow CA has 5 of the Top 10! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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Also UC Davis, UC Santa Cruz, UC Irvine, the Cal Polys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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Ohio State is now harder to get into than several of those. Which is unexpected. Also, USC (CA). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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USC is private. Ohio is not at the caliber of others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Better than Wisconsin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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Ohio state IS NOT better than Madison. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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the business school is highly ranked [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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Penn State is very good and attracting more non-Pennsylvanians than ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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I work in grad school admissions. I’d say the way I’d rank based on this perspective is: UC-Berkeley, UVA, U Mich, UNC, UT Austin, Wisconsin, William & Mary. UF is very case by case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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What about IU? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Top students at any school will do well. I am not as familiar with IU, but in part because we see applicants from there. We look for people who bloom where are they are planted. Malcolm Gladwell definitely got it right, you are much better off being top 5% at a lesser known school than bottom 20% at HYP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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Don’t see applicants* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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I.U. grad here. Lots of individual attention from professors. I graduated in the top 5%, had GRE scores in the top 2%. I'm not knocking other schools, but Midwestern schools can be a great place to bloom. Plus, the links to Chicago for post grad life are very strong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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No UCLA? What type of grad school? Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Law. Yes, should have included UCLA, although you need a very high GPA. I forget exactly, but something like 8% of the class has a 4.0 or above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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UVM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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unfortunately it has not improved since the 90s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 05:00 PM Flag
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Indiana University [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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oh come on. IU is not in the same league as Virginia, Michigan, Berkeley, Wisconsin... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 10:26 AM Flag
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Depends upon the major. The music department is up there with the best. The graduate B school is fantastic. Also, I wonder about ratings...how are they based? Every I.U. grad I know is gainfully employed. As a parent, I'm looking at employment statistics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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undergrad Kelley business too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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UCSD is better than UCSB and UF. Cornell Ag school is a state school and decent too, but prob worse than the others listed. I’d sat Illinois is also pretty good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 09:32 AM Flag
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I disagree. UF is better regarded throughout the NE than those to CA schools. Outside of CA they are not very well regarded. Florida is a big state and that is the only good state school in the state so it pulls the brightest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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This. How is the list created? It is important to look at the methodology. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else find that your fashion sense has changed over the years? I actually enjoy loose, flowy clothing, nothing overtly sexy or form-fitting. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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How old are you? Are you married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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DH and my mother love the bohemian style and it's forgiving on less cared for bodies. I prefer clean lines that show off the choices I make and enable me to hike, bicycle commute, etc. less restrictive to lifestyle than loose, flowy clothing. Almost anything can be sexy, depends on the garment, how and wear worn, and who is wearing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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yes, same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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Not at all. Still wearing daisy dukes and half shirts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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As long as you're also sporting stillettos, it's a timeless look. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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I don't wear boxy suits with floppy bow ties & big shoulders, LOL, but I've lost weight so I look better in my jeans & t-shirts if I say so myself! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Will be spending time this Christmas in Germanton, NY. Recs for activities to do? Will have extended family, ages 10-82. TIA! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. Saw that and am excited. We will be there for a few days so wondering if anyone has suggestions for things to do in the general area to fill a little more time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:54 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some tips that you can offer to help minimize clutter and disorganization in your home? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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Stuffed animals can get out of control for children. I Purchased a really nice beanbag without the insert and all of my childrens’ stuffed animals are in there. In the upcoming weeks we are going to go through the beanbag and you don’t need a whole bunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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When in doubt, throw it out (or donate) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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Yep! And don't buy something on impulse. Leave it in your cart for a few days and see if you still want it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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Find a homeless shelter for families which would appreciate all the stuff you have, but never use. Then, put a lawn bag in your closet and make filling that up each week a goal. Take it to that homeless shelter when you get a truck full. We hate to think of throwing away "good " stuff, but if no one is using it it is wasted stuff...give it to someone who would be over the moon to get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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NP: Are you in NYC? Any suggestions? I give to Housing Works, which is fine, but I'd rather do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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salvation army will pick up - you can schedule it on their website. Also Ronald McDonald takes a lot of stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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Who has a the potential for a truckful of stuff? Who has room to have lawn bags lying around? One of the things I read about cleaning is to get it out of the house the same day you clean (or within a day or so). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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No DH and no, or reduce, DCs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:25 PM Flag
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I heard The Home Edit ladies speak and they said that you can really only keep things 80% full and that really stuck with me. If a drawer is stuffed to capacity (even if done neatly), it's going to be a pain to maintain, but if it's 80% full, you are more likely to keep the system in place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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THIS! keep it to a level where you have more space than stuff (hard in NYC, I know). Even if it's not that tidy or organized, it will still be easier to deal with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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one in, one (or more) out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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I’m trying to buy less. I’m more mindful of impulse purchases. No more buying an item because it’s cute and on sale. I realize I get more joy decluttering and getting rid of things than buying things. I see all these Instagram influencers instastorying their target and Nordstrom sale purchases and I’m over it. I’m more into the before and after decluttering pics. I recently bought clear containers for my pantry and fridge. I can see what I actually had. So I won’t have 3 strawberry jams in my fridge and 6 cans of chickpeas. I was buying stuff I already had because my kitchen storage wasn’t tidy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend a friendly, down to earth barn for riding lessons? I rode 20+ years ago and would love to get back into it but I tried 1 place and was totally turned off by the attitudes of the people working there (including the instructor). Long Island prob easiest for me to get to but I do have s car. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:08 PM Flag
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Have you tried Jamaica Bay Riding Academy? I haven't been there but know some people who have liked it. It's in the Gateway National Wildlife Preserve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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Thanks I'll try them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Debating between North Fork and the Hamptons, surpisingly the North Fork is pricing like it is the Hamptons which it is not...but I prefer it because there is no traffic and I prefer the calm LI Sound. I feel the Hamptons is a more practical choice but I am terrified of the traffic and this is from experience. If you have a house in the Hamptons who do you overcome the traffic.....the one lane road? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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You learn the back roads [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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This. Both Forks have decent backroads [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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What type of summer or weekend experience are you looking for? Each of the forks offer a completely different experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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I'm shocked NF prices are comparable to Hamptons! Could you post examples? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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For renting, I’ve seen some extravagant prices on the North Fork. Demand is up and prices reflect that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:07 PM Flag
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It's where the cool people go; for about a decade. People who could easily afford South Fork, opting for North. High prices follow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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Why do you think the Hamptons are more practical? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Are you looking to buy or take a vacation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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That's not shocking. Anywhere in the tri-state area is expensive. Millions of people are looking for exactly what you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:07 PM Flag
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So this. The idea that the NF is somehow undiscovered is risible. Checkout LBI, Jersey Shore. But you won't because NOKD. NO deals where our kind are, dear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:14 PM Flag
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We just bought in NJ. $1M for a small, decent house. ANYWHERE in the tri-state area is expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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Not sure what data points you are using. The NF is still priced quite a bit below the SF, from real estate to prices at the food stands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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Practical for resale or for renting? People who want an ocean beach will always choose the Hamptons. Some people don't care about that and prefer the NF or don't care either way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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I just don't venture out too much. We are in South and perfectly happy with our area. I'll go to Bridge to hang out with friends, but that's about it. Rarely go to East in summer and never beyond. Off season is a different story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Any downside to me speaking English and dh speaking French to dB? He’s afraid dB will not speak English well enough for school, but I read it’s best to start from birth! Anyone with experience raising bilingual kids? 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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It's a great idea. I know many families that do this and kids grow up bi or tri lingual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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Ha. I was just going to say, probably 1/3 of DCs' schoolmates did some variation of this and I don't think it makes any difference. None of them speak the language. Though, they can still at least understand their parents/grandparents. They might have an easier time learning later. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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They'll learn what they're exposed to the most, if they live here it will be English. They'll always have enough French to get by, but a time will come when they will just default to English with your DH, even if he speaks to them in French. My brother lives in a foreign country and they have English, but it's not even close to fluent. Likewise my good friend is from South America and even though she exclusively cared for them when they were young, today even as adults they only pick up on parts of their mom's chatter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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The way to get your db really into French is to spend time where it's spoken. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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He’s expressed some interest in applying to the lycee and we spend the summer in France. But I don’t know if this will be enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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I guess you kind of have to define what you want "enough" to be, and calibrate your efforts towards that end. If he does Lycée, together with your DH, he'll probably be quite proficient. Fluency requires extra efforts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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I wonder if it is hard to get into the lycee in nyc. I know there are a few other options. We would like either French schooling or a French nanny. Maybe both. I’d like a balance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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You're lucky, a bilingual household is wonderful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:05 PM Flag
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If only I could reach bilingualism!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:15 PM Flag
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Not my experience. 7 y/o DD speaks excellent French, only to/from DH at home. Attends NYC public so unfortunately she is only literate in English. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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I know lots of families in this situation. Even some that are trilingual--each parent has their own language but their language in common is English. Dh should speak french to db. There is no harm. The only hare is in NOT speaking French. Only benefits. Dc may be a little later to talk but will suddenly talk in both, probably going back and forth between them, speaking English to you, and French to dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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Ok. Thanks. I’m also learning French but I’m struggling to pass A1. Hopefully I’ll get there eventually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:51 PM Flag
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THIS but research has shown that it does not take kids longer to speak who are raised bilingually. But kids who struggle with speech will still struggle with speech even raised bilingually. Anecdotally, we found this with our kids. Our kids spoke early (and are bilingual) but they have a monolingual cousin who needed speech therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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None at all -- if I were in your shoes, I would insist that DH speak nothing but French to DC. DF did this with German and her oldest DC speaks well enough to go to university in Germany. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 02:52 PM Flag
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It's great idea--I think the key to making it "take" as an adult is to continue to speak it to the child until they are at least a tween/teen. My dad grew up here, but his grandmother lived with them and spoke only Italian, so he grew up speaking that exclusively with her. She died when he was 14, his sister 10, and the rest of the family spoke English after that. As adults, my dad is completely fluent in Italian--now 90, when he goes back to Italy, they think he's a native--he says it just comes back to him from somewhere deep in his brain. My aunt, however, is not near as fluent. She thinks it's due to the amount of time they spoke the language every day with a native speaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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I'm very envious of your situation! When my great grandparents immigrated to the U.S. from Germany in the late 1880s, they settled in the south and use of anything but English at the time and in that place was highly discouraged. It was lost in our family. Your kid will do great with this experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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Is DH French? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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Yes. French born and native speaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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My parents spoke Spanish and English to us, NBD, but we are primarily English speaking - none are fluent. Classmates and friends spoke other languages - Japanese, German, etc. - the only that seemed fluent were those that spoke that other language at home as the primary language. I learned a few words in those languages but loss most of it. Tempting to do a french immersion school if he wants dB to be fluent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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Funny story from my friend. Her dad was a HS German teacher. Spoke to her and her sister in German from the time they grew up, and as teens they were fluent. They went to Germany for the summer to stay with some distant cousins, and learned that when their dad didn't know the actual German word for something (generally a noun), he would just make something up and call it that thereafter. So they'd be speaking in German and just drop nonsense words occasionally. Apparently, they were a source of great amusement to their cousins that summer. And really pissed off at their dad when they got home :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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Words like sogenannteschlectenstein? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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Lol. I don’t know because I don’t speak German. This looks like all German words to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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What language do you use when speaking to DH in front of DB? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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English. My French is not strong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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Is DH French or just speaks it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:12 PM Flag
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He is French. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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If you live in the US you need to give additional support to the French with travel to France or a French preschool or nanny. Unless he is going to be a SAHD the english will overtake the French very fast. The method you are talking about is OPOL and your child will be absolutely fluent just from mom + community as baby's language emerges. The chances that your dh will get frustrated and switch to english are high unless you build in extra support for french time for your baby. We raised kids with OPOL (what you are talking about) and it worked perfectly but we had the extra support of language immersion preschool and then elementary and that made all the difference. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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Also you need to bring up to your dh, does he feel comfortable talking about parenting stuff, discipline, death, explaining the birds and the bees and drug abuse, etc in English? These things are hard in your second language. Also he will be limiting his family's relationship with your baby and the baby being fully involved in conversations happening in French with his family if he does not raise them with French. There are big downsides to having to have everything translated for you when you are visiting family in France. Does he want that for his baby? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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No downside, as long as you speak it yourself. There was a neighbor in my last building who had one cleaning lady/nanny only speak to her girls in French, and the other only in Spanish. She spoke neither. Some of my neighbors referred to the girls as "The Science Projects". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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She needs to speak French in order to avoid snarky comments? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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I never snark on kids; the point is that she wanted her kids to learn languages spoken at home. Just not her home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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And this is wrong? It is good for kids to hear other languages when they are young. There are sounds that are hard to differentiate or make if you are only exposed later. Also it was your neighbors who were snarky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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Yes, they were. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 05:07 PM Flag
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I am trying to learn. Have been since I met dh. I really need more time to practice though. I can see how that will be important for dd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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We only spoke Russian to DS. Now at 8, he fluently speaks both languages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.19.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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This is really common--they're slower at first but eventually are much higher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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no! in fact it's a huge plus. google studies on dual languages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.20.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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