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[ - ] American Idol..I LOVE the voice on the man that lost his wife recently..He's my fav! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:53 AM Flag
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^^^I don't know how he sung HERO without crying. I was in tears when he was singing it knowing his wife just passed away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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it's only week 2 and i'm already sick of being beaten over the head with this guy's dead wife. he's not that good, but he'll get a lot of mileage out of his dead wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:01 AM Flag
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He's very religious. So was his wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:05 AM Flag
[ - ] day 3 potty training dd. not sure if we go back to diapers (wearing only underwear when awake). she's pooped in the potty and peed a lot (had a few accidents), but is very stubborn about actually going to potty. often fights me (i think it is more of a power issue than anything). i don't think it should be this hard, but i also feel she is doing well and we are so deep in it at this point. tia. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:48 AM Flag
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We read ds a short book when he was on the potty as an incentive. Do whatever you can NOT to turn it into a battle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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I've tried incentives--if they don't work, should i give up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:57 AM Flag
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How old is dd? I found that letting ds pick his underwear really helped. He really wanted to wear it and each time he had an accident we put him back in a diaper for a short time and he only got the underwear back as a reward. He was close to 3yo though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:02 AM Flag
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2.5 yo. she was showing lots of signs of being ready, which is why we started it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:02 AM Flag
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it's only been 3 days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:23 AM Flag
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My dd was like this too. Definitelya control thing with mine. Just try to power through it - but, I woudl avoid diapers during the day. Send mixed signals. Mine would pee in her underwear on purpose to get attention after being dry for a month or so - VERY frustrating but we stuck with it and 5 months later she is fine. She does sometimes wait too long or fight us to go still but she has learned what happens when you wait too long and she is not a fan of wet underwear. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:35 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have luck with clomid and timed intercourse? Starting this cycle and wondering if there's anything else that might help from those successful - dietary changes, time of day BD, wheatgrass shots, etc? Just trying to make the most of it after many, many mos of TTC. Thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
TTC 02.18.09, 06:42 AM Flag
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i did -that same month i had a deep tissue massage and we concieved on vacation--after one miscarriage and many many many months of trying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:48 AM Flag
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I assume if you were on vacation you had a few cocktails? I was wondering if having a glass of wine made any difference. I'm guessing not. Congratulations - and thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:57 AM Flag
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I just took Clomid for 1 month and didn't get pg but I think it jolted my cycle back to where it needed to be since I got pg 2 months after that and had had a longer luteal phase. I was also taking maca, vitex and high-dose B6, so maybe one of those did the trick, or it was luck. Either way, GL to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:05 AM Flag
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You do not want to try IUI? I am just asking because I am TTC and deciding what the next step should be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 12:43 PM Flag
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My husband's SA was fine, so RE thought this was a good first step for us. I'm sure we'll move on to IUI if Clomid alone doesn't work. Good luck to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 01:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Where does that weirdo Alex from RHONYC work? She commutes in on the subway, wearing sunglasses, desperate to be recognized. Should be Real Desperate Housewives of NYC. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 02.18.09, 06:38 AM Flag
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i like her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:39 AM Flag
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Yes, I've seen her. She rides the F. She is pretty in person, I thought. Very slim and tall. Didn't see her whole face though, just half. Wears ipod. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:43 AM Flag
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Last season she said she worked for Limited (VSB maybe?). They are at 57th & 7th so F train makes sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Please tell DH he is wrong: Pedigree and status are all that matter when apply to schools 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:38 AM Flag
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not true. i thought it was. then we got into a "TT" and we are no one. Our kids is bright, thankfully, but a lot is luck -- being the right sex and age to fit in the class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:59 AM Flag
[ - ] If Ieft WL msgs yesterday, I shouldn't call today, right? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:37 AM Flag
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Yes. You should call. You should call every day until you get a spot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:39 AM Flag
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Depends on whether the school was open yesterday. If not, I'd wait till tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:00 AM Flag
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I would say you can call today and speak to an actual human being. I am not so sure about the calling every day thing though... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:12 AM Flag
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I just called. They said to call "early next week" since they're just hearing back from families now. I'll call Friday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Day five of winter break: please.stop.touching me. please stop climbing on me. please stop asking me the same question 18 times in a row because you think I will change my answer. please stop telling me the same.damn. knock knock joke. please don't tell me you're bored but then refuse to get dressed so we can leave the apt. please stop wrestling with your brother on the couch. please please please stop sniffling in my ear. please stop open-mouth kissing me on the cheek. please learn to wipe your own ass. please.please.please. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:35 AM Flag
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Long baths for the kids in the middle of the day. Sit in the bathroom with them and read People or some other mindless drivel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:38 AM Flag
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Worst advice I've ever heard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:45 AM Flag
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np: no, i've done this on endless days. it really works as a diversion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:47 AM Flag
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please.please.please. get off UB and pay attention to your own damn kids. maybe then they'd learn some discipline [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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This is why I sent my kid to winter camp. He would go nuts in the house. $360 for 4 days at the JCC... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:47 AM Flag
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Get them dressed and go to a wide open space and let them run around until they are exhausted and then come home and let them watch tv for an hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:48 AM Flag
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dh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:49 AM Flag
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i'd give anything to be you. i'm here at work missing my kids so much and yearning for my sahm days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:02 AM Flag
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Me too. I could use some open mouth kisses on the cheek and sniffling in my ear from my kids right now instead of shuffling papers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:05 AM Flag
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i want to cry. i wish i could afford to sah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:06 AM Flag
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Imagine flash forward DC are leaving home to go to college. Appreciate that they are little and still want to kiss you. Don't wish it away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:11 AM Flag
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that's what I was thinking. it's hard to remember these little irritations when they are teens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:35 AM Flag
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When my kids insist they're bored, I tell them, "Great! Let's pack up all the toys that aren't fun to play with anymore and take them over to [charity of your choice here]!" Funny how they find something to play with after that. If that fails, I let them know they can help me fold the laundry, sort their clothes, clean their room, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:16 AM Flag
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Good one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:19 AM Flag
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lol. i totally hear you. stop climbing on me. yes, i love you very much but Stop Climbing On Me DAMMIT STOP CLIMBING ON ME!!!! I DON'T WANT ANOTHER KISS. I JUST WANT YOU TO GET OFF OF ME AND GO PLAY SOMEWHERE ELSE! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:46 AM Flag
[ - ] Please tell me how you decided on what schools to apply to? What specifically were you looking for? I need help. tia 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:33 AM Flag
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aplly very broadly. you'll instinctually know when you visit whats right for your cild. we appplied to 11 and ended up withdrawing all but 3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:34 AM Flag
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i'm not even sure where to start. we are moving to NYC by years end and haven't found a place yet so i can't even narrow it down by neighborhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:36 AM Flag
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1. Does the school become rigorous later on? Will a really smart kids be engaged or bored? 2. Is it well-rounded if dc turns out to be the artsy type? 3. Location. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:36 AM Flag
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Location, diversity, is it challenging?, % of kids that go on to good colleges/universities, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:39 AM Flag
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We eliminated fairly broad categories first - no overly religious schools, no SS schools, no schools with unreasonable commutes. That left us with about 15 schools to work with - some we couldn't get applications for (School at Columbia), others just didn't seem like a good fit for us, so we chose not to apply. We ended up applying to 6. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:42 AM Flag
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np: this is EXACTLY what we did, and ended up with the same number of schools, too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:40 AM Flag
[ - ] Can we start a MASTER LIST of spots being released? School? Grade? DS or DD? Working the waitlists bigtime here, and I know others are as well! TIA! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:33 AM Flag
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BWL, dd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:34 AM Flag
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Claremont, ds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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Friends, dd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:48 AM Flag
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ECFS, ds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:49 AM Flag
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Trinity, ds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:49 AM Flag
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Help - How do you work the wls? Call, say you want a spot?? What else? It seems like UB thinks we should call daily, but that seems PITA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:50 AM Flag
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BTDT..you ask them when should you call. Some tell you daily some say every other day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:53 AM Flag
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PSD says to call, and then ask them when you should check in again. Then call the day before they tell you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Hewitt or Friends? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:32 AM Flag
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HEWITT - DEFINITELY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.22.09, 02:34 PM Flag
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Agreed - HEWITT - TOTALLY!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.22.09, 03:30 PM Flag
[ - ] DH : I love my wife but know she would be happier with someone else, someone that would buy her jewelry every month and let her have unlimited spending on her credit cards - if I love her, do I set her free? 115 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:32 AM Flag
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does she love you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:34 AM Flag
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OP, pretty clear she prefers money over me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:35 AM Flag
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why is it clear? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:36 AM Flag
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she is only happy when i pay her bills [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:51 AM Flag
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Maybe this is just a way for you to rationalize no longer loving your wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:53 AM Flag
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OP, hmmmm, just once in awhile i see something deeper in her and i do love her, but the other 80% of the time i cannot believe i am with someone that would be like this. I tried to break up with her when we were living together but she promised me she would change that i was not seeing the "real" her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:57 AM Flag
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And what are you like? What would she say are your faults? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:01 AM Flag
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not trying to be mean - just curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:05 AM Flag
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she says i dont make enough, others make more money than me, tells me her friends still got bonuses this yr [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:07 AM Flag
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Well that sounds cruel and emasculating. I can see how you would get angry at that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:11 AM Flag
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not really angry, just numb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:13 AM Flag
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I don't know what to say except that I am sorry you feel this way, and I suspect you are not alone considering the downturn. Although, to her favor, I think it's good she works. (fellow WOHM here, but I spend my money - not DH's - on my expenses). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:14 AM Flag
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does she work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:21 AM Flag
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y, has very good job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:26 AM Flag
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^^^though she spends more than she earns [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:27 AM Flag
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maybe she wont find a person like that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:35 AM Flag
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OP, maybe not, but it might be better for her to be out looking to know it for herself... we have a couple that are friends, he is nerdy guy and lavishes jewels on his wife, eve though she does not find him attractive, I think she would leave me for him if she were free to do so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:39 AM Flag
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would your nerdy friend leave his wife for yours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:39 AM Flag
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^^^^ she is always talking about what a great guy he is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:39 AM Flag
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Maybe you could swap. Do you like nerdy guy's wife? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:41 AM Flag
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nope, my wife hotter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:42 AM Flag
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Ok, so maybe you guys are perfect for each other. I know a few couples, usually wall street, where the guy loves his wife because she's hot and the wife loves the guy for his money. In the cases I am thinking of, it doesn't seem like there is much else going for them - don't love, say, the essence of each other without the money and hotness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:45 AM Flag
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y, i work on wall st and i think she married me for this fantasy of riches, but i dont waste my money on junk - who knows 3 yrs from now we may all be on really hard times, she/and the kids wont be able to eat that diamond tennis bracelet i bought her for xmas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:49 AM Flag
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In these economic times, hoard your money and if your wife can't get on board you need to spell it out to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:57 AM Flag
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hoard money? it is pretty much worthless - you wont be able to eat it will you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:59 AM Flag
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What are you smoking? Hoard means save up. Why would you eat money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:02 AM Flag
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you dont get the point, our money is being devalued everyday - a year from now it will just be paper, other countries are already shying away from buying our treasuries [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:05 AM Flag
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I do get the point. So what if money is devalued? What is your alternative? Spending money on tennis bracelets? Besides, please name me a country whose own money is not being devalued. Last time I checked the dollar was gaining on the Euro, the Pound, and the Yen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:18 AM Flag
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y, food, gasoline and guns will be the new currency in our crisis [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:20 AM Flag
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Ok, you must be the crazy kevlarperson from the other post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:03 AM Flag
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nope, but agree with him/her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:09 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:35 AM Flag
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Does she want out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:36 AM Flag
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Do you have dcs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:40 AM Flag
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y [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:43 AM Flag
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^^^ i only stay for the dcs, but she tells them negative things about me because she can never be happy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:44 AM Flag
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well for someone who will probably lose much of the contact he presently has with his dcs you have a pretty light tone. Good luck with all that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:45 AM Flag
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OP, i know friends that have divorced and their realtionship with kids is never the same - but it is unhealthy for the kids to listen to her negative comments about me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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most kids have better relationships with their fathers after divorce because they have more 1 on 1 time. mine spend way more time with their dad than their friends whose parents are married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:08 AM Flag
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Why do you think she loves money? Maybe the way she receives love is through gifts and tokens of appreciation. Does it have to be expensive? Have you tried surprising her with things that are rich in thoughtfulness but not necessarily $$? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:41 AM Flag
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OP, she has spending prob - went to see shopaholic with her last friday night on our date night and that was her! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:45 AM Flag
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I guess as long as you have gobs of money to support it, I can see how you might survive, but to me, I would resent the hell out of my partner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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OP, but i thought most of the women in NYC and on UB are exactly the same way - all about the money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:51 AM Flag
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FAKE FAKE, FAKITY FAKE. You just blew it. Good going for a couple of minutes, though! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:52 AM Flag
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OP, i like that you think this is fake ( i am chuckling) , but after the last 12 months of my marriage i truly believe all women in NYC are like this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:55 AM Flag
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I think if you think all women in NYC are like this, you are in a group of shallow, superficial friends and colleagues and maybe you need to get out of your little shallow circle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:59 AM Flag
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oh, the irony! Someone on UB saying someone is shallow and superficial! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:02 AM Flag
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We are not all superficial, by the way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:06 AM Flag
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Of course not, and neither are all bankers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:15 AM Flag
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you work on wall st. and live in a world where men make money and women focus on their looks. you do realize there are many many other worlds in NYC right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:00 AM Flag
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y, i do - i hate my job and the treadmill i am on, have invested in other businesses trying to break away from it - all the people i work with are scumbags, they would steal my biz in a minute - get calls to have interviews everyday, from people who want to steal my biz, i grew up in a better place than this but have landed in hell [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:03 AM Flag
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Clearly you are a fake poster with the agenda of bashing Wall Street and the women of UB. Just crawl back to your hole, whereever that may be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:08 AM Flag
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sorry you think that my honesty is a bashing/agenda - tell me how i am wrong about what i have said, i am open and would love to know that there are women out there that want something deeper than a diamond tennis bracelet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:11 AM Flag
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There are plenty, but they aren't as HOT as your wife, therefore you would not be interested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:37 AM Flag
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OP, funny, I am not as concerned about beauty as you think, I would love to meet one woman in NYC that could enjoy me for my humor and handsome looks instead of my wallet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:44 AM Flag
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^^^ also, my "Hot" description was for the benefit of someone wanting to know how another couple views her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:47 AM Flag
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No, it wasn't. It was the response as to why you wouldn't swap for nerdy guy's wife: my wife hotter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:55 AM Flag
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y, you are right, she is hotter than the other wife, but not the reason i married her and def not the reason i'm still with her - stay for the dcs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:08 AM Flag
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why did you marry her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:19 AM Flag
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OP, she laughed at my jokes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:22 AM Flag
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how's the sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:26 AM Flag
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mediocre at best [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:55 AM Flag
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Do you think you may be depressed? Don't blame wife for being unhappy with materialistic culture that you're in. Can you tell her that you are unhappy and discuss major life changes with her? (Move to a smaller town, leave Wall Street etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:12 AM Flag
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not depressed but I am working on change for myself ( and without Obama's help I may add) by looking for other ways to provide for my children and myself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:26 AM Flag
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NP here...I have such an inverse scenario...I'm married to a Wall Streeter who DID get a bonus this year...he'd be happier with a woman who likes handbags and diamonds. ...all I want is to move to a small town & economize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 03:39 PM Flag
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ok, this has got to be a fake. nobody could actually think that. and if it's real, all i've got to say is buddy, you need to get out more. and by out, i don't mean to stupid nightclubs. wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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the question here is why would you want to be with a woman that felt this way? don't YOU deserve better? she sounds like a total douche, i don't care how "hot" she is, she's unredeemable if she puts $ before anything else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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pretty sure i am the wife in question here....let me just say that for 10 years I have been paying all the bills, all the child care, all the groceries, all the AMT taxes. He doesn't even pay a full half of the rent. So if this means I am only after money, so be it.....the fact is i feel he should help out and feel I have given him a very long time to do so. he is not a perfect as he is making himself out to be. As for our "nerdy" friends, they are very happy, he does provide for his family....would i want that man, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:54 AM Flag
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OP, you are barking up the wrong tree. you are not my DW but we are in the same situation only i am the one paying for everything. glad to hear you are in the same sh*t, maybe we should commiserate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:04 AM Flag
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don't believe you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:10 AM Flag
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i think this "wife" is a fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:17 AM Flag
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i wish i was [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:21 AM Flag
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Here's another thought: look at the situation through your wife's eyes. She is (presumably) SAHM and all mom friend are similarly focused on their looks, possessions etc. You seem to expect that you have the Wall Street job and accoutrements but your wife, somehow, is supposed to step out of this and "be different". My DH, similiary (?), wants the big money, the fancy schools, the great social life and he sometimes doesn't understand that certain possessions are "signals" in the social pecking order. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:19 AM Flag
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OP, i never bought into the wall st "role", i just followed the path that led to success and though I may not be as willing to spend to keep up with the Madoffs, i do know that i would rather have a deeper relationship with my family than anything that money can buy - the road I am on feels foreign and i do not enjoy the company [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:34 AM Flag
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OR: Focus on the changes you want to make and see if wife is open to change. Leaving her isn't going to make you happy if you are unhappy for other reasons and will introduce lots of new pain/unhappiness (dcs) and cost (separate households). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:49 AM Flag
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OP, thx for the advice - decisions and change are painful to accept, i am weighing the benefit for the dcs either way, not sure why these people are calling me fake for posting my painful thoughts here - life is not that easy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:54 AM Flag
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OR: Lots of fools on this board. Your dilemma sounds very real to me. I work on Wall Street, too, am unhappy and DH is way more interested in money and Manhattan than I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:57 AM Flag
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OP, thx for sharing with me, trying to channel this into my writing - who knows, the book may set me free? So you and DH both work on Wall st?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:11 AM Flag
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Good luck. Our situation is a bit different, I work on Wall Street (still, surprisingly) and DH is a attn midtown. But I feel like the choices that we(?) have made have put us in a financial straightjacket even so HHI is high. O well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:30 AM Flag
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*though* (!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:31 AM Flag
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Stop feeding the troll, this post is SO FAKE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:21 AM Flag
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fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:22 AM Flag
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Stopping watching the post. FAKE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:44 AM Flag
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I don't think this poster is fake. I mean you do glorify gold-digging. We have entire shows devoted to them Real Housewives of (insert city). Millionaire Matchmaker. I don't think it's so far-fetched that OP just happened to marry a gold-digger. She probably was gold-digger-lite or a gold-digger in training when they met, so he missed the warning signs to stay away from her. But once she got her french manicure nails into him, she was all about the bling. OP needs some therapy to rebuild his self-esteem, Prozac, and one heck of a barracuda divorce attorney. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:07 AM Flag
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whoa there, i disagree. he married a shallow "hot" woman and we all know how well those characteristics wear. Now he wants something deeper and more meaningful but she's not capable of giving it. Buddy, you made your bed when you were young and horny. Doubt very much she's going to change and really you can't expect it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:18 AM Flag
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Oh. Missed that part about the "hot wife". Okay, OP does have 50% culpability. But if either of them can't change either on their own or with the help of a marriage counselor, he will either live with the status quo or get out and try to find a more meaningful relationship. But I suspect, he will again fall for the hot twenty-year old who is about as deep as a puddle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:36 AM Flag
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OP, so many stereotypes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:41 AM Flag
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when i was younger i'd see these guys who didn't seem too bad marrying godawful shallow, conventionally 'hot' women and wonder how things would turn out. the guys just seemed like such fools, but then again you couldn't blame the women for being all that they were trained to be. makes you feel bad for humanity. but then i'm the poster below who married a gay man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:41 AM Flag
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you are all really mislead by this guy. I am telling you, he is my DH. We have over 10k in rent, child care, groceries etc every month, his contribution....1600.00!!!!! so yes, i do want him to step it up and contribute more money....i never received a tennis bracelet for xmas...he is making himself look so positive and looking for sympathy, meanwhile, all i ask for his more help to support the family and he could do that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:59 AM Flag
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why dont you get out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:06 AM Flag
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you sound like you are in a horrible marriage if you think this is your dh. does not make sense for you that he makes more than you and yet only pays less than 20% of bills [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:21 AM Flag
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OP, my argument with me wife was inflamed by me getting her a tennis bracelet for xmas that she claims was not nice enough to impress her friends. i am hurt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:28 AM Flag
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^^^ we have been fighting abot it ever since [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:29 AM Flag
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have her join the support group [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:18 AM Flag
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I can't believe all this BS. I am married to a WS guy. I had no idea before we moved in how much $$ he made. Loved him before. He is an exception on WS. Truly. Home almost every night by 5:15. Includes me in everything. He asked what I wanted for my 40th BDAy. I said some quality time for just you and me. no kids. He took care of it. He is good looking and his friends have called me hot. We get on eachothers nerves and annoy eachother and even argue sometimes, usually about kid stuff. But I would be poor and live in a shoebox apt...(I was when I grew up) rather than be without him. BTW, we moved out of Manhattan..can't stand the non-family oriented element. Don't be a bad example to youre kids and mess them up. Get out Dope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:30 AM Flag
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where did you escape to? westchester? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:59 AM Flag
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sounds like true commitment, unlike these DH's and DW's posting here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 12:25 PM Flag
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Maybe the problem is not the jewelery darlin - maybe that is just what she is saying. Maybe your inability to deliver is not so much financial but in other ways as well - ways that might be too hurtful to even mention. Maybe she has put up with you and is channeling all her issues into money...and maybe you should not be on this board venting - but talking to your wife..who you know is on this board as well. Thanks darling.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:40 AM Flag
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i knew a couple like this. the woman didn't know how else to express herself except through material means. when she pushed him for a bigger diamond it was her way of saying she wanted to make the marriage work when they were at a crossroads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:44 AM Flag
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i think this is my dh above. if not - then just an extraordinary coincidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:46 AM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:49 AM Flag
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you think OP is your DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:49 AM Flag
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or maybe your shrink [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:57 AM Flag
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Hope you are a fake, and not really DW. You sound just obnoxious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:55 AM Flag
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OP, well she should tell me instead of dancing around about money, besides she is out of town for conference this week and I took the day off to think about things and talk to my lawyer. meeting legal eagle at 1:30. thought I would see what the view was on here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:57 AM Flag
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yea right...nice way to try to throw me off. you know very well i am in town at work! Why don't you get off UB and try to make some money so you can help with the household bills and bills for kids. Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:03 AM Flag
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OP, listen lady, sounds like you need your own post, our situations are completely diff. I am at a crossroad and need to decide before she comes back on friday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:12 AM Flag
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I agree. DW needs her own post. But, since you are speaking to the lawyer, how about speaking with a marriage counselor too. This way you can present more than one option to your wife when she returns. Unless you just want out. If you do, don't prolong the inevitable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:32 AM Flag
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OP, dont marriage counselors want both people there or will one talk to me alone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:35 AM Flag
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The will talk to one or the other alone, but won't do it often. If you tell the counselor your wife is out of town, but you felt like you needed to reach out to someone for one session to see if it was something for you, they most likely will be see you without your wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:59 AM Flag
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yep, i am here as I have posted above, pretty sad that he comes here...do your husbands? I am at work by the way...not a SAHM like i told him I wanted to be. But since our family does need to survive, i continue to work and make the majority of the money. He does not help to support his family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:01 AM Flag
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this is really funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:07 AM Flag
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Op-maybe I just need to come out and tell you - I have had emotional affairs and physical affairs with countless women and expect you to put up with it, b/c my mom who had no self esteem did. and maybe you should not desire a better life in any way - monetary or otherwise - b/c I am a loser with low self esteem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:30 AM Flag
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OMG, I think I know who you are... you are a very successful IBer? Your wife just had relatively big events at work last week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:34 AM Flag
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Wow, after reading through all of this crap... you have an excuse for everything! Basically, nothing is your fault. Poor victim. Boohoo! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 02:27 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm not sure how choose which schools are for DD. How did you decide where to apply? What specifically drew you to the schools? TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:29 AM Flag
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well, first i asked all my friends where they were applying and put all those schools on my list. then i looked on ub and got a list of "tts" and put those on my list. then I googled to find out where my favorite celebrities send their kids and put those on the list. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:32 AM Flag
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I didn't use UB (can't count on this place for accurate info). I went on to ISAAGNY.ORG and got a list of the privates in the Manhattan. I went to each schools website and read up on their philosophy. I toured and was able to see which schools I could see my dd at (traditionals were out for us). I didn't bother asking my friends where they were applying since what's good for one dc may not be for another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:34 AM Flag
[ - ] HUNTER WATCH: Please post if you hear anything. Thanks 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:27 AM Flag
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Called earlier today and told me they were sending out the letters today. So, nothing till tomorrow... One more day... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:08 AM Flag
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They said the same thing last year - and I got mine the day they said they were mailing... GL everyone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 08:19 AM Flag
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mail came, no letter. I guess it really is tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 09:47 AM Flag
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Will they tell over the phone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 11:19 AM Flag
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Are any of you also deciding between private school acceptances and hunter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 11:21 AM Flag
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yes, me. I'm waiting to hear from Hunter to decide betw H and Dalton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 11:25 AM Flag
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Congratulations on the D accept! Will you choose H over D? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 11:29 AM Flag
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Does anyone know when high school letters go out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 11:30 AM Flag
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yes me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 11:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Can someone explain how American Idol works for this round? If only 3 go through from each group, doesn't that mean only 9 go through? Shouldn't it be 24 total? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:24 AM Flag
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I thought it was 3 men and 3 woman from this round [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:30 AM Flag
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There is also a second chance for either 2 or 3 from each group who compete in a wild card round. I also think there are 4 groups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Calling for wl today. call now, or let things settle and call later today? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:20 AM Flag
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NOW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:30 AM Flag
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If you get vm should you call back? or is that annoying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:33 AM Flag
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if you get VM and leave a message dont' call back right away..but if you get VM and choose not to leave a message..call back in 30 min [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:35 AM Flag
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Call now. I just called to release w/l and everybody picked up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:30 AM Flag
[ - ] Which schools are having events for accepted parents before the 25th deadline? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.18.09, 06:20 AM Flag
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Claremont Prep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:30 AM Flag
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Friends and Hewitt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:31 AM Flag
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NBS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:33 AM Flag
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Dalton [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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horace mann [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:56 AM Flag
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Riverdale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:00 AM Flag
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Really? I didn't get any news of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:15 AM Flag
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Maybe they changed it? Their website says there's an event for new K parents on Thursday at 9. We're waitlisted, so I don't know anything more than that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:43 AM Flag
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Trevor Day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:07 AM Flag
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Fieldston Lower [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:10 AM Flag
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Bank St. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:25 AM Flag
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Calhoun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:36 AM Flag
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Ethical [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 10:36 AM Flag
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VCS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 04:50 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm a SAHM with 3 kids in 3 schools, no regular babysitter or nanny or cleaning person. So my daily schedule is typically nuts. I just found out I need to have surgery which has a 2-3 week recovery period. (MD says plan on doing zip the first week, very little the second week, and of course recovery is patient by patient so no real way to know for sure the impact.) DH may be able to take a couple of days off from work, but that's at most. How would I go about hiring a full-time babysitter/nanny/house cleaner for such a short period of time? And any ideas how much this might cost? TIA! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:17 AM Flag
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how old are the kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:22 AM Flag
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10, 5 and 3. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:24 AM Flag
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if you are in nyc, try calling pinch sitters. Also, try In a Family Way. It's a post-partum doula agency, but they might be able to recommend someone--maybe even a doula looking for extra work. Post-partum doulas are there to look after the mother and household after birth, so they would be used to coordinating older kids. For temporary help like that I would expect to pay at least $20/hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:28 AM Flag
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Oof -- that's a lot! Thanks for the suggestion though. I hadn't thought of a doula. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:30 AM Flag
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It is. But standard in nyc is about $15 an hour for childcare and $20 to $25 for cleaning. To get someone that is essentially full-time but temporary you are probably going to have to pay more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:32 AM Flag
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^^p.s. If you have an accountant, you might ask if the cost would be considered a qualified medical expense if you itemize your deductions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:30 AM Flag
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There are lots of unemployed nannies right now. You could post on Craigs List. Ask around with your friends, they may know nannies out of work. You can also try Sitter City and Barnard Baby Sitting. From any of these sources I would expect you could find someone to do this for $15/hr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:38 AM Flag
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I had a similar issue last year. I called a few local nanny agencies to see if they could help me with a temp nanny. I was told a 2 week recovery, but hired for 3 weeks. Had nanny start 2 days before surgery my dc would be comfortable and she would know the routine. I was in another city at the time so I can't recommend a specific agency, but I am sure there is one that could help you (or recommend an agency they know the specializes in temp). I paid the nanny salary (but no taxes) and the agency charged me a fee of 10% of what I was paying the nanny. It worked out great and she still babysat on weekends until I moved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:49 AM Flag
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I had to do this, only had 2 kids though, found a sitter who could come for a month (my recovery was 6 weeks but last 2 were do-able alone) and DH worked an abbreviated schedule (8 hr day instead of 11 hr day) during that time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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If you need just one person - I would post an ad on CL: Seeking temporary FT housekeeper/childcare to help while mom recovers from surgery. I think you could pay the sae weekly rate - probably $650-$750 depending on how many hours you need since it IS full time even if it's just for 2-3 weeks. Lots of nannies and housekeepers are out of work right now. My laundry room alone has 8! postings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.18.09, 07:01 AM Flag
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