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[ - ] I have a question for new moms- I have a dd, 9 mos old, working full time- 3 days out, 2 days from home, and have not been able to make the "me" time I see all of my friends able to do for themselves- how do you do it? My DH is never home at a certain time- owns own law firm, so varies from 6 to 8, and I need to take care of myself, physically (going to gym) and emotionally (dont feel like me anymore, only Sassy's mom). Any tips? Thanks! 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Get a sitter for a few hours a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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your dd's name is Sassy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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Her nickname- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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nn for what? just curious - it is cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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Sarah- she has two nicknames- Sassafras and Sassy- she just looks like a Sassy. She has this little half grin that makes you melt- she will walk all over us, I know it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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I know a Sarah called Sassy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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It is a good nickname for Sarah, because there is not much else you can do with Sarah. Sa? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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Sally is cute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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with a nickname like sassy, i think she will. but i wouldn't say that with any kind of pride or amusement. i'd say it with embarrassment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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seriously - what kind of parent looks forward to their child "walking all over them"? You're asking for it, Sassy's mom... good luck to you all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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Well, at 9 months, she can do all the walking she wants. We will worry about that in a few years- and I really dont think nicknames have much effect on the childs behavior, signed, a former "Tomato". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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np. Ouch that's nasty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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my cheeks would get all red when I was little, like a tomato; it stuck, and never bothered me. And I am not looking forward to her "walking all over us"; gees, you cant say anything on here like that on here! It is like saying she will be a heartbreaker and getting flamed for raising a future bitch! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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nah - you'd just be flamed for bragging about your child's looks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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I like Sassy, and I think nick names are great. My dd is Brynn my husband in Benjamin so when she acts like her dad (bad) I call her Brynnjamin. haha just a joke and i think it is funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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or: i seriously did not mean to be nasty. but people are always letting things go and being amused by things when kids are little. then, suddenly the child is 3 y .o. and they act like they've been dealt this bad hand of cards b/c their child has terrible behavior. it all starts somewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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OP: We are pretty strict on our parenting ideas, I guess you could say. My nieces and nephews use the words Excuse me, please, ask to to be excused from the table, etc. and we intend to do the same. I hate when I see kids who are rude or animals, and the parents just kind of excuse it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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good for you... I just hope your dd doesnt let her nn or your thoughts about her smile go to her head! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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True! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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come on people, can't you just help the OP with her original question? Why would you offer unsolicited criticism of the nickname of her child? This is another woman asking for help and that is all you can respond to? Remember how tough it was for that first year? Why not be supportive? You no nothing about her undoubtedly lovely child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you! I want to know how do people do it with the guilt and time management! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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very cute name! Could you go to the gym on weekends when your husband is there? Or early in the morning before dd wakes up (with husband there, of course:)Or even at night after husband gets home Or get the babysitter to stay for a couple of extra hours on an occasional weeknight? You really should make time for yourself and don't feel guilty about it. You will be a better mom for your dd if you are happy and healthy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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you need two things. 1. a housekeeper, even once a week will do. 2. a regular babysitter/nanny/au pair even if you get only 3 hours a day to go to the gym, get your nails done, have a relaxing lunch, it will make all the difference in the world. You will be happy and dh will be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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you sound so entitled - not everyone can afford a housekeeper weekly, or a regular babysitter/nanny so they can go get their nails done! I agree that OP should try and get some help for some "me time" but you are over the top! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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she works, she dh works, this is what she needs to actually feel good about herself. My housekeeper is $100 a week and when I was a SAHM and only needed a couple of hours here and there I was able to find someone for $10p/h. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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wow, you pay $100 a week for your housekeeper? I pay $80 and she's fabulous, only every other week, and I barely need to clean on the off weeek [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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Nobody must be in your house during the day! - what on earth do you do with your kids? I have 4 dcs & one hour after they are home the house is a disaster! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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Well, I have a 4yo and an 19mo, and we're home most of the time... I guess we're just neat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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hmmm, or you are standing on top of your dcs cleaning up after them - doesn't do much for their fantasy play :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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nope, not at all. We just do the cleanup song about 5 times before bed with my 4yo for toys, etc, and I clean the kitchen once a week inbetween housekeeper visits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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OP: I work out of the house 3 days and get home after 6 with her, so those days would not work to have that free time, and the two days from home I cant get that either- I mean how do you manage it? Does anyone feel guilty being away for that time and then wanting more to have a glass of wine with friends instead of being with your dd and dh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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No, everyone needs time to themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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I totally feel your pain. I try to plan one night a month at least to my self or with friends, sure my dh do things wothout dd throughout the month but that one night is dd and daddy time. I have a group of girls and we do a book club meet once a month at a resteraunt and have our drinks, gossip and talk about the book. it is fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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This is what I mean- going to the gym once a week is not going to help with the rest of the baby weight, but when I get home I just want to spend time with her and then when DH gets home, be with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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I walk/run with dd. I get home change and get her in the jogger stroller and we walk/run to the park play for a bit then i walk/run back. I am doing ww at work and run/walk with dd every other day. She loves it so do i and then I feel better about myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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^^oh and i have lost 12 lbs in 8 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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good for you! I am doing ww but I am bfing, and have not lost a pound- so much for the myth that bfing helps you lose weight! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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that is such a good point, it is also very important for the kids to have time with just dad, you should never feel guilty about that. Can a friend come stay with dd for an afternoon? or any relatives near-by? I even found that I could have some me time in the house after my ds went to sleep--take a long bath with a glass of wine, or read a trashy magazine, I know it is not the same as getting out which you also must do but it might help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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You are early in on the mom process & still sorting things out. I found it much easier to have friends come to me so wouldn't have to bother w/babysitters & since you have such a little one she can sleep right thru your lunchs & dinners so long as you time them around naps/bedtime. But as for getting completely out of the house you need to schedule one hour for gym one one of your work days & one hour for nails/errands on the other one & eat lunch at your desk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:36 AM Flag
[ - ] How much weight did you gain during pregnancy, and how big was db at birth. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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Too much for the little peanut I had. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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22lbs both times, 8lb2 and 9lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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50 lbs, 10 lbs 5oz. 40+, 9 lbs 10oz. Both ds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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40 lbs both times. dcs were 7.14 and 7.6 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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45 with first and baby was just shy of 8 lbs, 8 lbs with 2nd and baby was just over 8 lbs. Go figure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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around 25 both times - one db was 7lbs 6 oz; one was 8 lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone a member of Soho House? How do I go about joining? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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asking us is a very bad sign. you will need to know at least two people who are already members who will write a letter for you. add to that, jobs in media are much prefered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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np: Huh. So what to make of some person approaching DH to join there? Her email seemed to indicate she worked there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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depends on who your dh is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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He's a writer. Oh well, we aren't joining anyway - funny they should think we have that kind of money (I assume it's very expensive). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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I think it is in the ballpark of a very expensive gym. What kind of writer is dh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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We belong to Equinox... I think SoHo house is much more expensive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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Novelist. The pool sounds great and all, but I can't imagine spending $10-15k a year to be able to use a summer pool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Is novelist his day job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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Tell dh he is the object of my jealousy session this afternoon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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:) I will. But right now he's all stressed out that his next book won't sell well and his career will be over. I think this time between proofreading and actual release is such a freaking stressful time. Yesterday, he was all psyched because a very famous author is going to give him a blurb for the back cover. Today he woke up certain the book stinks and he's a hack. He's not a drama queen in general, I just think the waiting gets to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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this is a stressful time for him. My sister is married to a well-known novelist and I know he goes through the same thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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October cannot arrive soon enough. I'll let him know that even big authors get nervous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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one of my friends is a writer, and she goes through the same thing. she is pretty well known in some circles and sold options on 4 of her books (two movies have been made so far,not released yet though) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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one of my friends belongs. it is a bit of a scene but she is sort of socialite-y. don't think I am going to go in my lands end tankini [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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LOL! I'm guessing my two toddlers and their floaties would be looked down on as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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most definitely! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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depends on the floaties. did you bling them out? you *might* be ok then [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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I'll dig up my Bedazzler. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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I hear that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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I have two people who would recommend me if I ask, but I don't have a flash job, so maybe I am too boring? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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you can't just join [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
[ - ] how often do you let dc have ice cream over the summer? be honest... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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she gets a daily treat per day- she usually chooses ice cream or lolly 2/3 times per week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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you mean popsicle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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yes , we call them ice-lollies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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gotcha. where from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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UK [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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makes sense now - I knew I'd heard it somewhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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ice cream specifically or frozen treats? we buy them at the grocery store and the kids can have one each day until they're gone. haven't bought any in a while b/c i keep forgetting. but one icecream sandwich or popscicle a day would not stress me out even if it was everyday of the summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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once per day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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If she wants it, once a day. Anything to fatten the child up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
[ - ] is it typical to pay more per month for a month to month rental? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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if it is a corporate, furnished, short term type thing, yes, very typical to pay more [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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absolutely because you are not bound by a contract and you can pretty much leave with little notice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm pg with a boy ( have dds) and was with my cousin and her ds yesterday. He's so active (hyper). He was told repeatedly to stop doing things and he would say OK and just do it anyway. He didn't listen at all and acted like he was high on uppers. Scared the hell out of me. I have to easy going kids. Holy shit..please tell me all boys aren't like that 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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good lord. no, not all boys are like that. not all girls are quiet adn obedient, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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op: yes I know not all girls are obedient. I've just had it easy with my 2 girls..just nervous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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sorry, from my experience boys are just very very active [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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of course they aren't *all* like that, but plenty are. raising cain is a great book about boys if you are interested [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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op: yes I know they aren't all like that but spending the entire day with him really exhausted me and scared me a bit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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well your son may be easy going like the girls, you never know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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op: from your mouth to god's ears..I hope so. If he's like his daddy I'm in trouble LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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that's funny, i find it's the opposite. my nieces are much crazier than my nephews. i only have a 1yr old dd, so not sure what i'm in for yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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I wish I could tell you boys weren't physical and active, certainly more so than girls. But they don't have to be out of control either. You do have to run them a bit more like a labs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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op: lol..thx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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very apt description [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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When he was told to stop and he did it anyway, what was the consequence? If no consequence, I'd say that's more to blame for his behavior than his gender. Unless you say what you mean and mean what you say, then your kids will be unruly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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she would tell him 1 or 2 times..he didn't listen..when she gave him a time out for not listening (he was jumping on my mother's furniture) he had a all out tantrum..Ran, cried, threw himself on the floor..he's 6 yr old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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what was the consequence for tantrumming in timeout? in my house, that simply extends the timeout. i'm betting he doesn't get consistent consequences at home. just a guess. i obviously don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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you are right..he calmed down and she didn't go threw with the rest of the time out. Kept on threatening to leave but didn't do it. I agree you need to be consistent. That's how I am with my kids. I don't play around [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Going to CIO with 3m.o. this weekend. Any advice from those who have done it? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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3 mo is WAY TOO EARLY. Wtf is wrong with you?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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why too early? She's 15 lbs and has been going without a bottle (she's excl. formula-fed) for about 12 hours since she was 10 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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because she will not "get" the cio thing. You need to give it another 2-3 months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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ita - you risk loosing dcs trust. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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too early- wait a few more months- we did at 5.5 months and it took three days- gl though if you go for it this weekend! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Yes my advice is that 3mo is too young to CIO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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ditto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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tritto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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you are off by about 2 months, it isnt about weight either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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Just went for my dd 3month checkup and her Dr. said to start cio this weekend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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hmmm even the most avid cio'ers on here don't start until 4.5 or 5 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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Your Dr probably doesn't have kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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It must be really interesting to have no conscience. Carefree and liberating, yes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a strength training question--I feel like I hear so much conflicting info about this. Is it better, for lean, slim muscle, to do high reps, low weight or minimal reps, weight as high as you can stand? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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in my not so great opinion. when starting out I do high weights, then switch ot low weight/min rep. I do this because I see faster results with high that motivate me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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you do both kinds all within the same workout, you mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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no, the two month I will do high weights. I can see the results then I tone it down to a weight that I feel comfortable with that I can add more and more reps. I think if I just go in thinking not to high weight I sell myself short and end up feeling frustrated that I'm not feeling a burn or seeing results. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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I've been reading all about this since I posted this question--it seems universally accepted that you need to use enough weight to cause real, true muscle fatigue-that feeling that you just CAN'T do another rep with good form--within 8-12 reps, to see results--either strength or endurance or tone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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To put on muscle mass do low reps high weight. To get lean muscle, do high reps low weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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okay that's what I thought, but someone told me that's a total myth--that high weight low reps IS going to build lean muscle, not muscle mass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm getting sick of DH coming home every night saying "oh, I'm not hungry" or "I don't feel like going out to dinner" (if I haven't cooked and would like to) because he's going on so many damn Summer Associate lunches at Jean Georges and Bouley and Morimoto... Grrrrrr 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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tell him to bring you the leftovers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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I have, but there never are any (besides, I don't think JG does doggy bags) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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do NOT do this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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op - lol... I joked about it once but he never would [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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Get a job. shanananananana [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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I have a job, thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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i don't know you and even so, i don't like you. why would you assume she doesn't have a job? not all jobs involve swanky lunches. and guess what? i gave up my job to stay home with my kids and yes, i'm jealous of dh's on the job fancy meals. it's ok to miss them or wish you could still go out for dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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op - THANK YOU! I actually do have a fulltime job, and am pg with our first db, and will take time off from work then, but even so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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leave him at home with db's and go out alone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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I have, or with friends sometimes, but we can't afford the really good places, and its just irritating to have him constantly telling me about his "amazing lunch" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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np: as a former biglaw lawyer, I can tell you that the food is yummy, but he'd much rather be there with you than the stuffy lawyers. The constant lunch thing is just a summer thing anyway. Also, unless he is a summer associate himself or a very junior associate, I would think that he wouldn't be doing those lunches with much frequency anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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I know, it is just in summer (unless his partner takes them out). He's at a big firm but in a small practice group, and goes out a lot with his mentee and others even though he's midlevel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:50 AM Flag
[ - ] i don't understand why christie brinkley has to give her ex money. was he broke? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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depends on pre nup, but he may have been entitled to what they earned during marriage. or she could have paid him to get what she wants custody wise. or she could have paid him to go away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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he's a disgust [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I believe the one who has the money often has to cover the other side's legal fees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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i think that's true, but isn't he an architect or builder or something, or was she supporting him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:57 AM Flag
[ - ] I wish I could divorce my dh. Feel tied to him, at least for now, since ds is in preschool, we need to stay in our current apt, and we can't afford separate places. This really sucks. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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DC being in preschool is not a valid reason to stay in a bad marriage. There will always be something that makes the status quo easier than a big change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Why do you want to divorce him? Is it that hopeless? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:09 AM Flag
[ - ] how many wks are you and how much have you gained so far? 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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14 wks- 5lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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15 wks- 20lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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are you having multiples? is this your 2nd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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28, 5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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5 lbs? I gained that much when the sperm hit my egg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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Didn't you hear? They are giving out medals to the women who gain the least amount of weight when they are pg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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well then I'm out of the running for that one. I may get the medal for the most weight gained in the shortest amt of time :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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Jeez - I'm not bragging, just answering the post. I gained 50 lbs with my first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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Tori spelling is that you? You have gained hardly anything with #2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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oh they are all just jealous :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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did you lose some during the 1st trimester? I wasn't sick so I didn't and am already up about 5 at 14.5 wks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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nope. I gained 50 lbs with my first and still had about 15 of that. this pregnancy is just different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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14 pounds at 34 weeks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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this was me. is this your first? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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yes! yours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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13 wks - -1 Ibs (but I lost 4 Ibs wks 5-11) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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24 wks, 21 lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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38w, 65... ugh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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19 weeks, 20lbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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glad to see I'm not the only one who is gaining on ave. like a pound a week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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whoa... slow down... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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how do you know this person isn't carrying twins or just eating reg? I gained 40lbs with both pg. Some ppl just gain that much [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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or: this is my third. I have always put on alot of weight. 50 lbs with #1 and 40+ with #2 and never had a problem losing it, so I don't worry about it. It is what it is and I'm pg so I don't need to be super skinny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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amen..I'm on my 3rd too and gain 40 lbs every time. I don't worry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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makes me feel better about losing the weight. i was a little overweight to begin with so worried about putting on a lot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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oy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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exactly..I was going to say "AY" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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how much had you gained at 19wks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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is there anyone on here that was overweight to begin with? what did you gain total? and did you lose quickly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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ME ME ME..all 3 times (I'm pg with #3 now). I gained 40 lbs with my previous 2 pg and it seems like 40 is the magic number with me..I'm right on schedule with the weight gain with this one. I didn't lose it quickly but it did come off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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thank goodness!!!!!! how much had you gained at 14 wks? this is my first and am just wondering if mine is normal... hate all those people who lose weight in the 1st trimester so when they deliver they are only like 10lbs more than they were to begin with (my mil is one of those) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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not sure..I know that I'm 24 wks now and at my 22 wk visit I was up 21 lbs..so I am gaining like a pound a week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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ok sounds like i will be close to you! I hope I can lose mine like you did :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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you will it just takes time. I actually didn't really try that hard at the beginning but once I got my mind into it, the lbs came off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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23 wks - abt. 10 lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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how about posting your expecting questions to the expecting board only? thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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shut up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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i hate it when the board police are on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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why do you even care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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you're taking up space on the general topics board. this is clearly an expecting-only question, so post it there! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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you can just collapse the post if it bugs you so much [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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31 weeks - 24 lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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16wks 8lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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10 weeks, none [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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10 weeks, 0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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17 wks- 3 pounds. I'm pretty sure that I've lost some muscle mass though because my doctor ordered me off of exercise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 02:04 AM Flag
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11 wks - 4lbs. I don't know how, because I walk 5-6 miles a day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 12:54 PM Flag
[ - ] what do you think of the woman who hugs people for a living? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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who pays her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:53 AM Flag
[ - ] dh has a terrible sinus situation and is getting surgery. now his ears are hurting. he is taking steriods and some spray until surgery. can anyone recommend a decongestant or something that can help him breathe/ fix his earache, in the meantime? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.10.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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If already taking steroids/sprays etc I would check with Dr or pharmacist before taking anything extra. Having said that lots of people recommend saline spray. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
[ - ] what should i write to tell someone that they are not getting the job they interviewed for. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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LOL, you are asking us? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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it depends on situation and person. are you an hr person or hiring manager? or are you a friend who referred a colleague. it also depends on how much you want to share (honesty sometimes can bite you in the a$$ legally sometimes). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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don't share anything. Not your responsibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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OP: i'm an HR person (obviously bery new to it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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omg, this is why hr gets a bad rep. ask your boss if you don't know this, don't ask on here. wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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what is up your @#!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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nothing. just pointing out someone is kind of idiotic for asking these questions here. not to mention they are ubing while working [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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np: she has a point. this is a basic skill for OP's job. also possibly her company has a form letter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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come on! she is right - you shouldn't be in the position you are in if you've never done this before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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wow - you need to go to HR school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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sorry, the position has been filled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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"thank you for your interest in XYZ Firm. Unfortuantely, we are not able to offer you a position at this time." why say more? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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and - we will be happy to keep your resume on file blah blah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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bingo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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dear x, thank your for your interest in XYZ company. Unfortunately we cannot offer you a position at this time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:52 AM Flag
[ - ] My 3yo daughter will not talk to other children -- not at school, not at camp, not on playdates. She is 3.4 months. Is this normal? She is very verbal with people she knows, and responds to other adults one on one, but is silent and shy with other children. Sometimes it seems like all the other kids her age are already talking to each other. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.10.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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they are all talking to each other - why hasn't your dd been around more dc on a daily basis? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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OP: She has been around other dc on a daily basis, yes. But she is not talking to other kids even so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Do you talk to other dc - her friends - do you sit and talk and play with the other dc - lead your dd into conversations with them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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OP: When I am there, I do. Obviously, I'm not there when she's at camp or school, and she is also often with the nanny, who is very good at coordinating play. She does talk to her baby brother, just not other kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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np: my 3yo is pretty quiet with otherr kids too, except her sibling and kids she has known a long time. a lot of kids in one setting makes her clam up. i don't think its abnormal, but i'd try to see one or two otehr kids regualrly, evne if you jut meet up at the park. then seh may get comfortable wnough to talk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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OP: Unfortunately, we do not live in an area with young children, so it's hard to meet up one on one with other kids on a regular basis. The problem isn't that she's pretty quiet, it's that she literally does not say a single word. Not even yes or now when asked a question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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Have you asked her why? 3.5 she should be able to communicate her feelings to you. I hope you won't take this the wrong way but one thing I've noticed with friends of mine that kids have nanny's is they don't always have the best language skills. Is you Nanny talking to her a lot? Is English her first language? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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OP: I have asked her why. She doesn't answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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There was a selective mute in my school when I was a child who would talk at home and even after school to her friends. It is a problem you should address. Maybe with a child psychologist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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she is sort of past the stage of parallel play-have you spoken to her teachers about this? is she an only dc? my younger dc is pretty shy/quiet around other kids her own age, but she is very verbal with her older sib's friends. i am not worried about it at this point. just figure dd is trying to make sense of things. if you are worried, talk to teacher. also, try to do stuff one on one with other kids if you can-may seem less overwhelming. witha structure activity too, so they don't have to necessarily take the initiative (like, come on guys, we are going to do a puzzle together. do you like to do them? do you like the colors on this puzzle, oh wow, sally, did you hear that katie loves yellow too?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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OP: Well, right now she is at camp, which just started, so I haven't talked to camp counselor yet. The problem isn't that she's quiet -- it's that she literally will not say a single word, not even yes or no in response to a question. She just looks down or turns away if another child talks to her. If I try to coordinate the conversation, she'll just look at me and respond, but will not talk to the other child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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she sounds painfully shy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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the counselors may not be helpful-some are great, some aren't as much. does she seem unhappy to you? if she is happy, no big deal, but if not, that might worry me and might be worth starting to explore. I wouldn't do much this summer, wait until return to school too, when teachers (who are usually better trained than counselors) may have more info for you. also, try to observe when this happens-is it playdates or in group settings? my older dc hated to be the last one in preschool in the morning-wanted to be first and get settled. just wasn't a big transition kid-once we figured this out, dc came out of shell more [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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OP: It happens in all settings. She literally will not look another child in the eye or respond ever to them. She enjoys group situations where there are lots of kids, like the playground or music or free playtime at school/camp, but she won't talk to anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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She has a problem that you need to speak to a psychologist about. You should do this before school starts, imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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She probably could benefit from speech therapy- not that she has speech problems, per se, but for conversation skills. I knew a girl in my dc's preschool class who went to speech therapy for just this reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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OP: She has great conversation skills, very advanced verbally, she just won't have a conversation with other children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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maybe you can put her in some sort of group, though, through an agency or speech therapist to converse with children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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OP: Do a lot of other children not talk to other kids at 3.4? When do most kids start talking to other children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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My DS was really, really quiet--sometimes not talking--in certain social situations at that age. He literally barely spoke during his entire time at preschool. They recommended against sending him to kinder--we didn't listen and he had a great year. One thing that seemed to be a turning point for him was going to a very low-key camp last summer w/ lots of time out in nature (he's very comfortable in nature) where he made one really good friend (also a socially awkward late-blooming boy). He's back there this summer and doing totally fine and now he'll go to a park and join the play, talk to other kids or adults. Hope that helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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Yes. Usually it starts at 2-2.5 from my experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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selective mutism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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Try a "socialization group" with a speech pathologist. Call Making Milestones. They have good therapists and have offices on the UES and UWS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.31.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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my dd is like this too. she's almost painfully shy when she's in a new setting, away from her comfort zone. i made playdates with 1 or 2 other kids so that when she's in a larger group setting, she has a few familiar faces. that has seemed to help. fwiw, she's been in classes or playgroups since she was 6 mo, so its not a lack of socialization. its just her. will she speak to them when she's one on one with them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.31.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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A Speech Pathologist will help facilitate communication between your child and her peers. I recommend www.liftprogram.com - she's wonderful and has social language play groups to help kids communicate during play. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.10.08, 05:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there a directory of NYC camps? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 07.10.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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try parents league when they reopen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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there is a directory -- don't know the name, but i'm sure if you google new york city camps, you'll get something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:29 AM Flag
[ - ] BF and I broke up yesterday pm. Nothing really went wrong. I sent him an e-mail early this am and now I regret it. Didnt want to grovel and didnt think my e-mail sounded needy. Just trying to get clarity. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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That sucks. My rule of thumb: always wait 24 hours before hitting the send button on anything that I might regret. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I know I should have waiteed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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live and learn. At least you won't be seeing him much anymore, so it won't be in your face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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how long dating? who dumped who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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2+months, he dumped me. It was awful, we never ever had any issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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maybe that was it. some guys need drama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I am not sure. My thinking is he is going to Europe for 3 weeks for pleasure and he didnt want it during that time. Also we were getting closer and maybe that bothered him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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just move on, clearly he's not one for a loong-term relationship with you at them moment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:06 AM Flag
[ - ] how many private schools should I apply to for better odds? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 07.10.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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one, your odds aren't necessarily improved by applying to a ton of schools. your dc has to go through the playdates and is bound to have some off days if you apply to 15 schools. two, if you want to improve your odds, should have focused on being a non pita parent in ps and and helping dc in school (enrichment, not tutoring, etc). three, you should only apply to schools where you would send dc. don't apply to a school to improve odds if you don't think you or dc would be happy there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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np: BTDT and ITTA. Only apply to places that you would send. It's a pita to waste their time and your dc if you are just sending out apps but just to do it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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With this in mind, you may end up pulling applications at some point in the process. There were a couple schools we thought we'd love based on research, then the tour and interview completely changed our minds. It can be hard to know for sure going in... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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ITA. Plus some schools don't schedule the interview until you have gone on the tour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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Apply to 10. Make sure at least 2 are "safe" schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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there's some debate as to whether there is such a thing as "safety" schools anymore. Parent's League and many PSDs say no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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Right, but you don't just apply to the tt's unless you have a good public option. There are less competitive privates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 11:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone hear Elizabeth Hasselbeck bought a place uptown for $3 mill? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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that sounds like peanuts for her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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