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[ - ] does your dh do anything to help with kids in am before work? i know im a sahm but why give me attitude thtat i need you to change the baby's diaper in am - i do it all day long (except the few hours a week sitter comes, which i know he is resentful about) so many f'd up issues 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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c'mon, don't you know your DH actually has to work at a job while you drink coffee all day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:40 AM Flag
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and UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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He's still a PARENT - when he's home he can change a diaper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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If he's rushing out the door for work and your not going anywhere than you need to change the damn diaper. Its another story in the evening. I am a SAHM and would never ask this of DH in the morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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but that didn't seem to be op's sit'n; I agree and my dh is out the door before anyone wakes - but still, it's OFF HOURS and that's when BOTH parents should parent imho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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Why couldnt you change dc? What were you doing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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with older one trying to get her brush and how about me getting dressed not in a rush? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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What were you getting dressed for? I'm a SAHM and sitting here in my pjs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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I'm sorry, I'm a SAHM and I just cant sympathise with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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I"m a sahm and sympathize. I sometimes ask my dh when the last time was that he changed a diaper and he won't be able to recall exactly. It isn't unreasonable for him to change a diaper or help out a little if he has the time. Should he be late to work to do it? No, but it doesn't sound like that's the issue. Wohm change diapers before they leave in the a.m. I am pretty sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I'm a SAHM and don't have a sitter to relieve at all so suck it up and consider yourself lucky [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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bitter huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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i begged him to this am and he finally took sympathy, but i honestly think only b/c we had great sex last night and now I'm sore. weird, i know, but he never helps any other time, just sits and reads the paper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:02 AM Flag
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wow, 1950s dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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'fraid so. but, it was great, i'll admit it. maybe i should be 50's mom and w/hold until he starts helping more. can't get much more passive-aggressive than that, huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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I'm a WOHM and I change diapers in the a.m. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:11 AM Flag
[ - ] wohm: what are you wearing today? can't figure out what's right for this weather (and 11 wks prg -- nothing fits; bleh). 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 05.22.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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gray slacks, white tee with a pewter cardigan, black loafer type shoes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:10 AM Flag
[ - ] HELP!! My DH is in the music industry. He is musical director for a concert at the National Theatre in Washington DC. Pres. Bush is attending and it's Black Tie! I'll be 14 weeks pregnant by then so wearing any of my usual formal gowns is out. Any suggestion where I can get a dress for a black tie, without breaking the bank?? I'd even be willing to rent a dress if possible! TIA 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 05.22.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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BORING! WTF? Why do you think anyone would care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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np: wow, had your coffee yet this morning? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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Stop being so snarky!! The OP needs help finding a dress, that's what these message boards are for! Go have another drink and wollow in your own bitterness! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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np: Don't give her credit for being snarky. Snarky implies clever and amusing. She is just mean. That said, op can't help. Maybe ask some of your friends if they have any maternity dresses that migth work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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I feel bad for your dc today [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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1st? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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OP: no 2nd pregnancy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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oh, you get bigger much faster with 2nd. what about something from one of those consignment stores on the UES? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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just go to Bergdorf or Saks and ask salesperson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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np: they don't have maternity departments at those stores *and* they're very expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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liz lange [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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WHat are you talking about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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wow...you sound lovely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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if you have many formal gowns, don't you know where to buy a dress for a black tie event? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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OP-yes, but my body shape is weird right now... Boobs are huge (DD) and since it's my second pregnancy I'm starting to show already... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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I'd go to Maternityworks, on 57th Street -- it's the outlet for A Pea in the Pod, Mimi, and Motherhood, and the last time I was there they had a number of beautiful evening gowns (Pea in the Pod brand) for not very much ($100 or less). I'd also try Macy's, which basically carries the same brands as above, but often has lots of stuff on sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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or above: also, I was in this situation with last pregnancy (now 11 wks w/#2...) and ended up getting an amazing dress at a DVF sample sale (a DVF maternity dress). The dress wasn't long and ended up being very versatile -- I actually wore it casually, with a long cardigan over it and boots (but it looked perfect at the event, with high shoes and jewelry, etc.). DVF dresses aren't *that* expensive -- so perhaps try them (call the Meatpacking District store and make sure they carry the maternity line). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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OP- Thank you so much... I'll try there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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I got a really beautiful maternity dress online at Nordstrom.com for very cheap. It was on sale and I love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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Ooooh, thanks! My MIL used to worked there for over 25 years and she still gets her discount too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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I would try loehmanns for an empire waist gown [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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OP- Good idea! Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:57 AM Flag
[ - ] HELP!! My DH is in the music industry. He is musical director for a concert at the National Theatre in Washington DC. Pres. Bush is attending and it's Black Tie! I'll be 14 weeks pregnant by then so wearing any of my usual formal gowns is out. Any suggestion where I can get a dress for a black tie, without breaking the bank?? I'd even be willing to rent a dress if possible! TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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Do you really care that GW will be there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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BORING! WTF? Why do you think anyone would care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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Is this going to be your answer for everything today? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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STAMP! WHAT'S WITH THE LONG F'ING POSTS? WRITE A LETTER AND PUT A STAMP ON IT! YOU'RE PERSONALLY KILLING UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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no, you are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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Just go back to bed and try again tomorrow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:40 AM Flag
[ - ] Does this place still suck or has it gotten better? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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still sucks, I dont care what anyone says [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:32 AM Flag
[ - ] SAHMS, what do your kids do in the morning? I feel like my 3 yo can't find any way to entertain herself except to grab everything out of 16 mo's hands and otherwise harass sibling. And yes I've posted before. Do we need more toys or something? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 05.22.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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not in preschool? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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op: she'll be 3 in a month. she's in preschool 2 days a week (3 in the fall, thank god) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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tv time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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I have same ages and we get out of the house a LOT! The minute we are out the door everybody feels better. Hard with all this rain though. Playdoh is good, just make sure you have enough for both kids. You don't need more toys, you need to engage them more. Can you get all 3 of you on the couch and read books together? Older one needs to learn to share, but also needs positive attention from you. I posted the other day about letting them have more alone time (with you watching, but not noticeably). I know it sounds weird, but my older one is so nice to his little sister when I am not around. It is all competition for mom's attention. Also, the more responsibility I give the older one the more he rises to the occasion. Try to rethink your parenting with the 3 yo. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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I hear you, but the problem is that when I am not around, the aggression begins. I am far from a helicopter parent, would love for them to be able to play nicely together, my total fantasy. As for engaging them more, I do, but I don't think it's too much to ask to have a cup of tea and brush my teeth before totally diving into the day, y'know? It really feels like older sib can't be nice for 5 minutes, which is all I'd really need. It's exhausting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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I truly think that you and the 3 yo are in some sort of power struggle and you need to rethink how you are approaching this. How can you get some positive energy going? How can you get her involved with the 16 mo in a way that is not punitive? Can you get any alone time with the 3 yo? I know this is hard - I don't have any help either. But a little more work with the 3 yo will pay off down the road! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:40 AM Flag
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how about giving her some positive attention? It sounds like you expect a 3 yo and 16 mo to just play nicely together which is kind of ridiculous. Do you ever sit down with the 3 yo and read, play a game, teach her how to write her name, etc every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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i don't "just expect that," and of course i spend time with her. i do, however, expect a few minutes here and there where it isn't acrimonious between the two of them. doesn't seem like a lot to expect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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no, she actually needs some of your attention [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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Please don't be nasty. Of course she gets my attention, and yes, both good and bad. Some of the suggestions here are good ones, ladies, and I appreciate them. To those who think they need to tell me my child "actually needs some of my attention," as if this would be a eureka moment for me, I guess you just need to find some way to feel superior to others. Blows my mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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this is why it is a bad age difference - many 3 yos are not capable of what you want him.her to be [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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eh...this is irrelevant. My 3 yo is like this with the baby too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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jmho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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that it's a bad age difference? how is that helpful? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 07:44 AM Flag
[ - ] I was just over at the other site: no question it is more user friendly but no one is there on schools board anyway. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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Can you please share what the other site is or how to get to it? TIA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do random people think it is perfectly okay to make comments on how big I am?? Yesterday a woman told me that at least I don't have to worry about being pregnant in the summer (I'm due in September and when I told her that she just stared at me) and told another woman asked when I was due and then just said, "wow, you have all summer to go?" I am NOT that big. I just had an OB appt and I made them measure my bump after they weighed me. I am completely in the normal range and I still work out so I've only gained in my stomach and chest. I'm so annoyed at all these comments! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 05.22.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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^^today another woman - not told (I'm just SO mad!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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LOL! I had someone tell me they thought I was going to give birth any day and I was just over 6 months! I thought it was funny. Just don't let it get to you. People are idiots [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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OP - I also had a guy tell me that surely I was going to have a baby in July or August (b/c he knows way more than my OB). You are right - people are idiots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:30 AM Flag
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because pregnant women fall within the public domain. people feel they have the right to touch you, give you advice, comment on what the future holds for you. I agree. It is very annoying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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but you ARE huge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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i got that all the time too and didnt think i was that big. i measured right on target. some days i wanted to just cry after people made their nasty comments. people are so ignorant and have no idea how horrible they are being. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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I would never actually say anything, but I'm always shocked at how big women get. it just looks alien. I have a picture of myself in my underwear when I was 8 months, and I can't believe how big I was! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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^^unless you are Nicole Kidman - chick looks like she has gained <5 lbs at 7 months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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No more so than the people who post to 20 boards - chill out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:40 AM Flag
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obviously you are that big! I didn't get any comments about being big until 8 mos [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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I was the same - just huge at 6 months and total strangers were always saying weird stuff. Just try to smile and ignore it. They're rude but in a way they mean well. And a year from now, everyone will be commenting on how adorable your baby is and how great you look!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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I'm the same way - I'm due in August and can't walk down the street without a security guard or doorman asking "how are you feeling today?" or making another comment. Even work colleagues, "When ARE you due, again??" So try to enjoy it. You'll get seats on the subway for extra months. Take them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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I got this too. My fundus (that's right? Its been a while) measured right on target and I'm not a big person. It was just that I carried verrrrry far forward so I looked like I was ready to blow very early. Also showed very early. You are just going to have to learn to laugh about it. Nothing more you can do. I embraced it. I liked being pregnant and just really let hang out. I started getting a kick out of telling people "actually, I've got another couple months" and watching their jaw drop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:54 AM Flag
[ - ] Friend took ambulance to hospital last night - they told her she was having a panic attack and gave her benadryl then sent her home. She crying and doesn't know what to do today. Obviously cna't get in to see a therapist or psychiatrist today - don't know where she should go....any suggestions? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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can the ER give her a referral? They must have some sort of system set up for emergency cases [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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She could call her GP. He might be able to help or get her into a specialist faster than if she calls on her own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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if she is really unable to function she should go to the emergency room where i psych will evaluate her and may even discharge her home with meds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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that happened for me. She'll have to be really honest with them about how bad she feels. Really, really tell them "I feel like I'm going crazy" or can't sleep, or can't function etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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^^^also could work if she just calls GP and tells them what is going on and tells them that she feels like she needs something to get her through. They'll prbably give her Klonopin. Its very fas acting for panic attack and prety safe if you are not someone who abuses substances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:59 AM Flag
[ - ] I hate pediatricians. They freak us out and make us paranoid that our children are not developing right. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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mine doesn't. He is very reasonable. Maybe you need a new doc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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not mine. love her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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really? Your peds dont ask how many words dc are saying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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first OR of course they ask those questions. But that doesn't throw me into a panic! DCs develop at their own rate but within basic guidelines usually. They are just trying to make sure everything is ok. If it's not, wouldn't you want to know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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sure she asks, but she never commented on it. one of my kids is adhd and she didn't encourage a diagnosis until he was 5 or 6, and never suggested a course of treatment, rather just gave us information and support, letting us lead the way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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Actually I've almost never heard this to be the cause. They are often cautious to the extreme, often miss developmental issues (because they are not specialists in development like a Developmental Pediatrician is) and they are taught to calm parents at all costs. If your Ped is telling you that something may be going on with your child, please listen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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^^case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 AM Flag
[ - ] How old is dc and how many hours of tv does he or she watch a day? Me, 4 yr old , 2 hours. Too much? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:20 AM Flag
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11 and 8 about 1/2 hr a day. when they were little I bet they watched 2 hours a day, at least. they just aren't into tv (or even the computer) now. whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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I am soooo jealous of you right now...np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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well we are supposed to be a media free family but that doesnt really work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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6 and 8 and about 2 hours a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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4 yo watches maybe an hour (if rainy day), but usually less (one program). 8 mo, none, although I have the TV on in the a.m. I've DONE 2 hrs but don't feel good about it, fwiw [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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Mine is three and about the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:34 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm 34 yo, my mom, her sister (maternal aunt), my dad's sister (paternal aunt) have all been diagnosed with breast cancer in the past 5 years. My grandfather (maternal) dies of colon cancer. Am I doomed to get breast cancer? Should i think about getting a mammogram soon? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:20 AM Flag
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wow. I'm sorry. I would talk to your doc about it but they very well may want you to get diagnostic tests earlier than normal. Hope you avoid it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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OP: Well, the good news is, so far they all seems to be doing well (except for my grandpa). Mom is technically in remission! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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that's great. Def something to ask your doc about though and maybe even find someone who specializes in cancer prevention. GL to you and your family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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i think you really need to go to a breast center and get genetic testing. do you have sisters? are they ok? you should definitely start mammograms or ultrasounds (because mammos may not be effective in younger women) at 35 the latest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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OP: I have an older sister, she's 39 and so far okay. Any recs of places to go in NYC? I have United insurance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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i don't know for sure--i know that beth israel and hackensack are big breast places. the name dr. axelrod in beth israel rings a bell. also memorial sloan is always there too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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^^^^oh, and I'm still nursing (almost done) so I think i have to wait a bit after that, right? I've been pregnant and nursing for the past 3 years and I just realized now I'm 34 and have to deal with this somehow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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probably, but i would still make an appt now--genetic testing has nothing to do with nursing. but it might affect imaging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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i would not do the genetic testing unless you are prepared to take action based on the result. but definitely talk to your dr about a mammogram and ultrasound. usually high risk women start at 35 instead of 40 anyway, you're just about due. good luck to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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colon cancer runs in my family so I had a colonoscopy in my early 30s and they found 3 polyps and one was advanced percancerous so if you are at risk get checked! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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omg yes you're overdue - call today! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. My mom just went through a breast cancer diagnosis: surgery, port for chemo. And, now has found out that it has spread to her bones, lymphnodes, liver, and lungs. It's so hard and scary. I would ask for a Rx to get a mammo from your GYN. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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