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[ - ] Is anyone else experiencing increased work anxiety as they age? It's a bit odd since I gain more experience year by year. But for some reason, little stuff is getting to me more and more. As budgets and timelines keep decreasing it's harder and harder to do projects and do them well. I end up taking on all this guilt and blame that I can't find great vendors to complete these projects and I worry that my coworkers think I'm bad at my job. You always find someone who can help out at whichever budget level. But it's just an increasingly crappy process and I really wish I could have a zero stress job. Does that even exist? Anyway, that's my whining for the day. CSB I know. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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I just turned 56 and was experiencing a lot of work anxiety before I switched from private practice to the public sector. In my old position, part of it was "is this what I want to be doing in 10 years?" I had to make the leap for my own peace of mind. There are still stressful days but I feel like I'm in better control of my destiny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Yes! And following this sinch I need some moral support. Im 42 - have been in my industry for 20 years, and feel like more of a fraud with every passing year. Have actually started therapy specifically to discuss work anxiety. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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OP: Is the therapy helping? I'm a 100% single parent, so I can't really do a career switch without taking a salary dive which just doesn't work. I'm wondering if I need to just leave NYC, but we have such a great community here that starting over elsewhere seems tough too...especially when I'm not sure just how much of a financial advantage it would provide. Oh what I'd give to throw a second income at my life. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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NP: I'm retired, I'm still anxious. I think anxiety drives me to try new things, to challenge myself and I've just learned to accept that being anxious isn't all bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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The therapy is helping, but its not a cure all. I have more tools to use to talk myself down after a bad day, but I still have bad days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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not sure how old your dc is, but one of the great things about NYC is that tweens+ can get around the city by themselves easily and the schools offer tons of after school activities. also, if you go from community to no community, you might get really depressed and sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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OP: He's almost 9. I really want to stick it out here. I love NYC, rats and urine be damned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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Do "good enough". I think as we get older we expect a more perfect performance...good enough, is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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OP: I like this. I really need to get comfortable with 'good enough.' I always worry that I'm not nailing everything perfectly and honestly, I'm making ads, I'm not curing cancer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:16 PM Flag
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Do "good enough". I think as we get older we expect a more perfect performance...good enough, is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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Sorry..meant to go with the anxious thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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Yes. Ageism is huge and somehow no one is getting slapped for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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THIS. I'm an HR executive and it's real and it's active. It's becoming a larger topic. I left corporate world to start my own company and to start a side hustle. It's not feasible for everyone but I felt that if I didn't start carving out work on my own terms I'd be left on the curb for some silly reason because of my age. I quit corporate world at 42. Was offered new opportunities but honestly, I can't live with this sickening feeling in my stomach that one day someone is going to rip everything out from under me because of internal politics and well I'm "old" so let's get rid of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:56 PM Flag
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I worked for a major media company in NYC and my co-workers were getting kicked out the door as soon as they hit 50. You never saw "older" people in the hallways or elevators, not that 50 is even old. I was 40 and felt like I was the grandmother of the company. Have since switched jobs and its such a relief to not be the oldest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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OH MY GOD YES. 47 years old and have been at my company for 21 years and I get so anxious these days over the day-to-day things I've been doing for decades it's CRAZY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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Anyone else struggling with being a leader as you get older? When I was young, I was a worker bee and that was fine for my personality. In order to make more money, I have to become an authority figure, which is not something I'm comfortable with (in my 40s). Feel like I don't deserve to be in charge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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I remind myself of this: There are fewer days ahead of me than behind me...do I really want to waste those days in constant ruminations? This may cause more stress..though! Just don't waste your emotions, find something you love and do more of that...I've found that to be the best release of anxiety. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks for this. But when you say 'find something you love' - do you mean outside hobbies? I have to work. And I have over 2 decades in this industry, so I don't see leaving it and being able to pay my bills. How do you deal with the stress of work when you know you can't really leave it? Meditation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:15 PM Flag
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This sounds cliched but start taking some classes and find that thing that is your thing. It could be photography, playing the cello, working for the local Sierra Club. If you have other areas in your life where you can develop that nonwork part of yourself, I think that helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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OP: Good idea. I've been meaning to start taking some cooking classes. I think I let the whole single parent thing stop me. Hiring the sitter + cost of classes and then being away from my kid just makes doing things for me a bit more challenging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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Do something on-line! Just find a YouTube video series you like and cook through it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 02:19 AM Flag
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OP: That is a great idea. No sitter and I can do it whenever. Not sure why I didn't think of that. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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i hear you. but that same awareness that you are closer to the end of your life than the beginning- its a bit anxiety provoking in itself! lol. but yes, you need to have perspective to focus on whats truly impt and to value how you spend your waking hours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:17 PM Flag
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Yep, but I've learned to think about that as a way of cutting through bullshit..! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:58 PM Flag
[ - ] What basic beauty service (facial, manicures) do you feel like "everyone" does but you can't be bothered with? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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Basically everything except getting my hair done and pedicures during the summer months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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Facials, manicures, pedicures, hair coloring, waxing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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manicures, but i also do not bother with makeup or blow drying my hair. so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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facials (only once in a blue moon) and blow outs for events. I do my own hair and keep it simple [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:24 PM Flag
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I only get my hair cut and colored, but that’s normal for my crowd - people here seem to go in for a lot of grooming and makeup. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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I do my own nails and pedicures because I do a better job, also never get my hair done because when I have, it's been meh. I do get weekly massages though, but I guess that's not beauty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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I've never had a manicure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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I had one once, but didn't care for it at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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I've never had a facial or paid for a blowout [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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Facials are a total waste of $$ and time. Blowouts to me are so wasteful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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I agree about facials as there is so much you can do at home easily. Blowouts though are a special skill, especially depending on your hair type. I have a head full of curly ringlets that I love, but when I want to wear it straight, I can blow it out myself and then flat iron it which takes forever and always comes out very mediocre to bad, or go get a blow out in a third of the time and it looks amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:43 PM Flag
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But it's still a splurge because you want your curly hair straight. I agree blowouts are good for events and such, but just for the fun of it it seems very wasteful to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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manicures. they last less than a week and are toxic! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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they now have non toxic long lasting polishes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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I've never been to a derm. Bought some Retin A online and everything else is non-prescription. No facials at salons, but I do masks at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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Figuring out how to put on makeup correctly. I know I could just hire someone to show me one time and I'd be good to go, but instead I just slap on mascara from Duane Reade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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I desperately need someone to show me. How do I find someone who will be interested in teaching me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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All of it except bathing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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botox and lasers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:30 AM Flag
[ - ] I’m a SAHM and I’m very awkward socially. What do I do when I have play dates with nannies? Any tips are welcome. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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Talk with them like they are human beings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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Depends. I've known some nannies who get paid extra for playdates because they know I'm going to leave DC with them. Other times I've told nannies that they're free to leave if they want. If it's a nanny who I "know" sometimes we just "trade". Also this depends on if I'm going to their house or if I'm hosting. I think it would be awkward for me and the nanny to hang around together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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Op: this is exactly what I want to do!!!!! Thank you so much. I really want to offer to pay the nannies to watch my dc too. I can really use the time to run errands. I don’t know how to ask them because I’m so awkward. What do you say to the nanny that I want to do “pay extra” or “trade”. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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You talk to the nanny's employer first (at least that is what I would do). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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Oh. Great! Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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I usually talk to the parents first. Most nannies are happy to get some extra cash, especially because a playdate means the DCs are entertained and it's a lower maintenance day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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I sometimes had playdates with SAHMs when I nannied: just be yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:59 PM Flag
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Try to be friendly, nice and engaging. Talk about the dc. It should be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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I want to add: I have trouble talking to other moms too. It just happens that I’ve just started to arrange play dates and all of them are with nannies. I have trouble talking to anyone. I guess I’m asking what do you talk about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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I’m honestly so awkward that I don’t even talk to moms other than say hi. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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Former nanny - you remind me of a couple of moms I met: I guess my smile & freckles were disarming, LOL. I just started talking about what it was like to move to NYC and things like that, and they started talking more as they got to know me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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Remember they are more nervous about meeting you than you are about meeting them. Ask them what they want..and then respond. I usually say something like: I'll be in the kitchen if you need me (I take playdate time for food prep.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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Former nanny - good point, because they don't know who you're close to. I repeat, just try to be yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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Talk about kids, how long they've been with the family, what they're doing for holidays, the weather. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:19 PM Flag
[ - ] My 3 close friends and I all got married within about a year of each other. Fast forward 10 years, and none of us are really happy in our marriages. One DH is chronically underemployed, has substance abuse issues, and is in debt; one DH cheats when he travels and they are in a sexless marriage; one DH is a controlling jerk but they are rich; and one DH fell out of love and now they are divorced. Which one would you rather be? Are you/your friends happily married? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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I'd rather be the one who gets divorced. DH and I are happy, friends are a mix, everyone seems to have ups and downs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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Pretty much. We had one set of friends who were married the day before us and were disappointed when they divorced years later. Otherwise, it seems most have stayed together with normal ups and downs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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Yes. I can't say that I have a secret formula, but we married in our 30s, we lived together for 2 yeas before marrying, we have similar values and we enjoy one another's company. We have realistic expectations...it isn't his job to make me happy, e.g. Married for 20 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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np: I have these exact stats :) and we have been together 21 years - married for 17. I do say sex is really hard - I desire getting off and having sex. My husband has held up his looks but I feel less sexy as I've aged plus there is no more spontaneity because I have a tween and teen at home that stay up late or are home when we can have sex and we live in an apartment. I have to make an appointment with DH - where I go to work "Late" for an important meeting so we can do it after the kids leave for school. You have to F*ck, communicate, and compromise to be married for a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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We are happy but we met and married a bit later in life. We knew what we wanted and I think married for the right reasons (friendship, chemistry, common values and shared goals). I know that happiness is not guaranteed but I think we will likely go the distance. Our friends and family members are a mixed bag -- about half divorced within first few years and other half seem to be happy partners for life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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This. I'm PP. I think getting married for the right reasons would be as much a key as anything else. Many of my friends married because they felt it was "time". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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We have plenty of issues, both of us. That said I really believe DH is a good, decent person. He is a responsible,highly involved loving father. I married him for these qualities and that is still what matters most to me. I think it’s impossible to predict if anyone’s marriage will last, but I will always value these qualities whether or not we stay together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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Np: that is amazing, and would probably keep me in the marriage. Congrats on finding someone like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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Not sure on that front but thanks. He’s not always nice to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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I’m pretty happy - would prefer he didn’t fart in bed but what can you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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You're making light of her sadness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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She's just answering OP's question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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Just acknowledging how fortunate I am. We have our issues, like any couple, but he’s a very good egg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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My friends that are married seem happily married.....I struggled in my marriage in the beginning (I was also the first of the group circle to get married) but dh and I have worked through our issues and have renewed our commitment to each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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I think marrying someone you like, admire and respect is very important. Not for his looks, his money, his background...but someone whom you genuinely like, admire and respect. And, don't sweat the small stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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I think marrying someone you like, admire and respect is very important. Not for his looks, his money, his background...but someone whom you genuinely like, admire and respect. And, don't sweat the small stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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There are 8 of us from college. One had a starter marriage to a guy we met in college that ended in divorce in a year, she met and married her current husband right away and they are very happy. One only got married for the first time two years ago (we are all 43) - that couple is childfree and very happy. One other couple is white knuckling it, they will stay together but it's been a struggle for her because he's sort of asexual, aromatic. The other five of us are all married to guys we met in college and have been for nearly 20 years. All of our marriages are secure and probably for the long haul and happiness ebbs and flows with what's happening with life, jobs, kids, parents, inlaws, etc. Pretty normal stuff. No big outliers with respect to addiction or abuse or adultery, thank goodness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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But is anyone like HAPPY, romance novel happy? Probably not. That's not real life. We all seem to have good enough lives and marriages and that's a good thing. I think society has sold women a bill of goods expecting their husbands to be their everything when that's not realistic. We are all human and nothing is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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I'm curious to know the ages of everyone when they got married. I've been advising my DDs to not marry until they're 30. Or not to marry at all. I'm fine with them having kids any which way they like. It doesn't have to be this traditional made up business. I honestly think marriage is a bunch of hooey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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I'm the 8 of us poster above. I got married at 25. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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Do you wish you married later? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:15 PM Flag
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Hard question. I love my life, my kids, my husband... but I absolutely missed out on the crazy early adult years because I essentially was out of the picture from college on. That said, I see women in the late twenties and early thirties struggling to meet nice guys and getting more depressed when others get married and have children and I would not have wanted that to be me just because of a vague thought that the grass might be greener. It's so personal, I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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cant even imagine. i was bar-hopping with friends. 25 year old men are not marriage material yet. I was casually dating at 25, and men that age are generally terrible at talking through any issues. At 25 you are barely living as an adult. 3 years ear;ier you were a college kid. Come on. What is the rush? The people that marry at 25 are bored by 30 and thats when life gets more challenging - work, responsibilities, money, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:37 PM Flag
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I'm not trying to convince anyone to do something, just sharing my experience. In retrospect, I missed out on the years of dating jerky guys but traveling more. I missed out on being able to pick up and move anywhere and think only of myself. But my husband and I essentially grew up together by going through these years together. We struggled with miscarriages, but still had kids at 29, 31 and 33, and I'm glad I didn't figure out that problem when I was 35+. Pluses and minuses in everything but altogether, it's a good life and we are happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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I'm happy. Our lives aren't perfect at all. Sometimes things are hard, but they are things that would be even harder if we weren't married. Thank goodness we are married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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And my closest friends are happily married (3 friends) and one friend is sadly widowed but was happily married. Also to answer your question, I would rather be the divorced one of the ones you listed above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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wow. i suppose the least hoorible option is rich w the jerk? lol. but no, none of these sound good. sounds like there was a feeling of peer pressure to settle down in your frind group so people didnt plan well. I married at 35, been married 15 years, very happily. I know a few people who divorced, but most people i know seem happily married. Im in NYC so no one i knoew was married before early 30s. Any younger, and it is riskier. Also, friends didnt have kids until late 30s-pushing 40.Its odd that in your circle the men were not great partners. Whhy was there such a blind spot? Were you all big on planning "the perfect" pinterest wedding, wanted kids young, what?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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Controlling rich jerk--get divorced and get some $. Done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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I have a few divorced friends and all are in relationships. everyone we're friends with have a normal decent marriages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Are you getting yourself anything for Christmas? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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Ha, probably wrapping a couple of small things for me and DH. DCs asked us why Santa never brings us anything! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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You were too naughty this year! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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Some days off, which I need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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Yes, mostly a few stocking stuffers from the MoMA store and some nice chocolate. I did treat myself to some La Mer yesterday, which I am counting as a holiday splurge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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A new pair of Vans that I've been wanting; put off buying for a few weeks so that they'd be a Christmas gift for myself (seemed more fun that way). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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I do this, too. :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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Yes, just ordered an Icebreaker hoodie which I would normally not buy because it's too expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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I love scented bubble baths. That nightly bath is my favorite ritual...so that. (And, I know some people think baths are unhygienic,but I don't care!). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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NP: DH loves baths too. Takes one every Friday night. I don't think they're unhygienic, I just can't sit still for any period of time unless it's a movie or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:43 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:08 PM Flag
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I don't think so, I guess I'm too depressed to really want anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. Maybe you can find something that does make you smile a little. Try even if it doesn't seem worth it. You are worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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Last night I saw a post here (I think it was here) where someone bought an art book about the artist they loved and framed some of the prints. The artist I love is also $$$$$$ and way out of my price range. His stuff ends up in museums. So I am checking out the Idris Khan book on amazon right now. I really want it. Thank you to whoever posted the thread about calendar pictures last night, and whoever responded about their art book. Brilliant! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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Ok I'm going to look for that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:18 PM Flag
[ - ] We moved to the suburbs and it has been hard. A lot of the moms grew up here or have lived here a long time and have no interest in making new friends. I get it as they are busy and already have their groups. But I'm really trying. A few months ago, I threw a dinner party and not a single person who came has invited us to anything. I have made a few friends, but the constant rejection from the other moms is really starting to take its toll mentally. For those who have been there, how do you handle it? I wish I didn't take it so personally, but I am. And I've never had a problem making friends, so experiencing this now is really throwing me off. 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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Is there one who you're a bit closer with than the others? If so, grab some coffee and just be open/honest about how you're finding it hard to find your people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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OP: The only people I'm close with are the other people who have recently moved here as well and are somewhat experiencing the same thing. Granted, I'd heard about how difficult this place can be, but I didn't fully get it until recently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:26 PM Flag
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Can you cultivate those relationships? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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OP: Yes! These friends are great and I am truly thankful for them. Is it that eventually the moms already here get worn down and eventually warm up? It just feels so fake to keep making small talk at sports with the existing moms to know that they have no interest in any friendship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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It's annoying, but not everyone is going to be friends with everyone. Some might eventually warm up, but you should focus on the good friends you've already made :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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NP: I've always written off moms as potential friends just because they happen to have kids. Find people with shared interests outside of the fact that they have kids. If it's not clicking, don't force it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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^^to clarify: "written off the idea." I don't write off people generally! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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NP: so it sounds like you have made some nice friendships but separately are dealing with the sting of rejection from other moms. Based on the fact that your town has this reputation there is probably no way to game the system unless you, your spouse or your kid become wildly rich or wildly famous. And then it would be fake anyway. I live in the suburbs and I focus on my family and a small circle of friends who are nice, decent people. I ignore those who would be inclined to ignore me. No sense in giving them any power over your life or happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. Is this Westchester or New Jersey? I think it varies by town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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OP: I don't feel comfortable saying as it is a relatively small town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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It is Bronxville, isn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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I was thinking the same! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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If Westchester, it could really be any of the smaller towns- Bronxville, Edgemont, Rye Neck, or Pelham. I live in one, and new people, kids and adults, don't have an easy time settling in. It's not right, but it's how life is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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Can't be edgemont...there is a newcomers club, and the schools direct all the new parents to join it as well as use the facebook and social media pages for parents. The schools anchor the town, and they really organize tons of things for new families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 06:47 AM Flag
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Is Bronxville like this or known to be like this??? That's the one place I was considering if we moved out of the city but this would put me off! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 04:35 AM Flag
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Bronxville definitely has this reputation and can be like this. It helps a lot if your kids fit in well at the school and do well in popular sports there. You can also join one of the country clubs and church there to meet people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 06:41 AM Flag
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Join a church or other structured religious institution. Become active in a committee which does something you enjoy. I'm not a "let's have coffee" kind of person, but doing something with like minded people helps me to build bonds. I don't think it is so much rejection as it is easier to hang with people you've known for a while than to reach out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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OP: This is a good point. I'm already extremely involved, but maybe it just takes more time to get that comfort level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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You're on the right track, then! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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If may not be you. I think that mothers have particularly full lives, and friendships with new people fall to the bottom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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+1000 I'm super dull and I've lived in the same place for forever. I have family, childhood friends, college friends, work friends, and friends from kids' schools and activities. I don't have time for the people already in my life, so even when amazing new people move here, I just don't have time. It isn't rejection. That said, I wouldn't accept an invite to a dinner party and then not include the hostess in some way in another activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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OP, this sucks. Had - and still have - this experience when we moved to city 5 years ago when oldest started middle school. To some extent, had to make peace with it, yet can still hurt when you know you are the only couple of the parents in your kid's friend group not invited to x, y, and z holiday party, etc. it is hard in the sense that many friends of older kids advise, "be friends with the parents of your kids' friends." But DH and I keep plugging along and appreciate the friends we have made and try not to compare it to the community we left behind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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op, have to confess that some moms started to be more friendly with me when i ended up becoming an officer in the high school PTA group. before that, they might smile in passing, but that was the limit. while i am onto to the reason for the change, a few of these parents have ended up being nice and we have become friends. keep on and good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:59 PM Flag
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how long have you been there ? I think it takes a while to feel settled. and also people are already set in their ways. don't take it personally just be patient and see what develops [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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Something else to consider: The fact that the moms you know now are moms who grew up there might be a sign that these women aren't open to much of anything new...and that would include a new friend. I have some acquaintances who have never strayed very far from where they grew up and while they are nice people, they aren't open to new experiences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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Moving is very hard and it's super hard to make new friends. Harder than people realize. I wouldn't take it personally OP. You need to realize these things won't happen over night and you will need to stay involved to constantly meet new people. Gyms, youth sports leagues, the grocery store just stay in front of people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Moving is hard, but some places aren't welcoming. We move every two years for DH's work, and there is only one place we have ever left early; it was in Westchester when DH was based in NYC. The next time we had to be in NY, we moved to the city, and it was great! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 06:50 AM Flag
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This was me 16 years ago. I didn't even have kids yet. Nothing really changed, honestly, I just found my place in other ways. I'm super busy now and have a few close friends from town. It was hard. Do you have DCs? Have you been able to meet any like minded ppl from their friend group? It's not you, promise. It's a weird culture out in the 'burbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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while i cant relate to the suburb/moving aspect, because i'm in NYC, i know how hard it is to try and make new mom friends. I do host a lot of playdates, etc, and rarely is it reciprocated. I try to go to the school events and its a good time to hang out and chat. Dont focus on the people who dont respomnd, but remember the one who does. ive made the mistake of not realizing when a mom was trying to make friends with me because i was so focused on a group of others that excluded me. You are in a vulnerable position now, and others are not thinking to exclude you, but are trying to keep their own lives afloat. I try and remember that. I wouldnt give up with the invites. I keep hosting group playdates for the kids and it helps. Maybe keep it casual- not a sit down dinner, but a buffet/chili/taco night or something. Keep it light, and maybe do an invite once every 6 weeks. Maybe others disagree. I think you have to give more than take when you are the new on in town. You need more from these new friends than they do from you. Its true. I feel like you need to bring something to the table, instead of just being needy and projecting that you want friends and you want them now. Be a person that brings something fun to others lives and maybe they will be more giving. Honestly, you have only your pride to lose here. If you sit around feeling dejected- youve gained nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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Do your kids go to a local school? The best way is to volunteer there and meet some moms this way, they don't have to live 2 houses over, but you will find some geographically close friends. It's often difficult to make friends with your neighbors, sometimes people don't want this for privacy reasons, they want their space, sometimes it's older established residents vs. newcomers or some other differences. If school thing isn't working out, then there is some problem with the entire area and it sucks. I would seriously consider moving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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When you are a transient it's way better to live in areas full of transients. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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Do you have kids in the local school? Are you friends with your kids' parents? Sometimes that's a good place to deepen friendships in the burbs. If you have older kids, it can be harder to use this method though, since kids are so independent as they grow up. I would suggest forming/joining a local group so you find friends with shared interests and take turns hosting. Some friends I know have done baking, cooking, book, hiking clubs or rec sport leagues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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I suspect that at least some of these suburb-hating posts are written by realtors who don't want people to move out of the city. We moved from Cobble Hill to Westchester with two young kids and, sure, it's hard to make friends here but it was also hard to make friends in Cobble Hill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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I cannot imagine a realtor thinking, "I know how to hang onto my clients - I'll write a post on UB about how lonely the suburbs are!" People may be doing it for their own amusement, who knows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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You threw a dinner party and people came! Great! Now invite them again! Throw a holiday party or invite them each one on one to lunch or to join you for some shopping or for a family outing to see santa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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i think maybe more one-on-ones or 2 moms at most- with whoever you connect with- could be better at making a connection. Ask yourself if you really WANT to be friends with them, or if you just want froends. Maybe this group isnt your scene. Find the people you have things in common with through a hobby, maybe? Joining A committee REALLY helps, because you have scheduled meeting times and sometimes meet at peoples houses. You get to know each other as you workk on projcts together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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I would keep myself busy and try not to deal with them and focus more on people who seem open to friendship. You can’t force these things and I usually want things to happen organically anyway. Maybe meet people through ECs? It may take time. Even in Manhattan, it’s taken me several years to develop some friendships. You don’t want fake ones anyway. There are moms who ignored me and acted like she didn’t know me and then years later are all friendly as if they never forgot me. So many people are disingenuous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 04:25 AM Flag
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I can say with confidence that she's not talking about Larchmont. Perhaps it's all the expats, but we've been floored with how welcoming this place is and how easy it's been to makes friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 05:00 AM Flag
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I think Larchmont and Edgemont are the most diverse (if talking about westchester), so that makes sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 06:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone ever had their upper lids done (blepharoplasty)? How was the recovery? Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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I had mine done around 48 (I'm 56 now). Had my dad's hooded eyes and just looked tired all the time. So glad I did it. Recovery was very easy--I went to lunch with my friend two days after I did it (had to wear sunglasses because my eyes looked bruised) so I must have felt ok. Went back to work wearing a little concealer for bruises after 1 week, if I recall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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OP: How bad were the bruises? Like purple/blue or more yellow? (if you can recall) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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I think they were more yellow by the time I went back to work. I don't recall that it was really hard to cover them up. Doc had me take Arnica (sp?) beforehand which is supposed to help with bruising. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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My friend just did it and in addition to bruising and swelling she has harsh red scar lines. Fading after 3 weeks but still obvious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 03:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Best day spa for a staycation in NYC? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:44 AM Flag
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Greenwich hotel Shabui spa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:44 AM Flag
[ - ] This may be a really silly question. What age or grade are your kids, and how late do they stay up? We moved from the Oregon to NY, and my kids have a lot more homework. For two of them it's because they went from elementary to middle school and also feel they learned different things before. They and almost all of their school friends stay up a lot later than most of their friends back home. I acknowledge everyone is different, has different needs, and many go to different schools but am curious. My middle school twins are up until 10pm every night, mostly doing homework and after school sports, and both need to be up at 7am. My high schoolers wake between 6:30 and 7, have different commutes, and are asleep by 10PM and 12AM on most nights. On weekends, half of my kids take an afternoon nap both days. Too little sleep, right? How does everyone else manage?? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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this is the new normal, sadly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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I remember staying up late on some nights in middle and high school, but the daily late night seems hard. My kids are obviously overtired. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:32 AM Flag
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Do you have 4 kids? Why did you move with four kids to NY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Because you didn't give her the message. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:07 AM Flag
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Primarily because of our careers. It's working out, more or less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:24 AM Flag
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We have one middle schooler and one high schooler and they basically have the same schedule as what you describe (in NYC). We tend to let older dc (now 15) to decide when to go to bed. We both teach at universities and are well aware of the fact that college students have the craziest sleep habits (also eating and sometimes hygiene as well!). No naps on week-ends but they would sleep until noon if we let them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:54 AM Flag
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On weekends, I never wake the kids up, except one for sports practice. The latest they sleep in is 9am, but one takes a nap. Another wakes early and naps, and the other two wake early and go to bed a bit earlier, or just sit around more, as if lethargic. So I guess my kids aren't getting a crazy small amount of sleep then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:27 AM Flag
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In middle school it was lights out for family at 9/9:30. We were unicorns but sleep is important [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:26 AM Flag
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So important. But if the kid gets home from school sports at 6 and has homework, needs to eat dinner how do you get it all in?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:47 AM Flag
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Maybe they’re up at 5 am? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:14 AM Flag
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Our DCs are only allowed to do two hours of homework a day. We've taught them to use the syllabus to plan ahead for larger papers and projects, and if there's a basic daily assignment they don't get completely finished, that's fine. They are comfortable now with handing in an essay or paper that is proficient but not perfect, and with telling a teacher they ran out of time if they don't get the whole thing done. There are occasional exceptions, of course, but with reading the textbooks over the summer and spending a focused 4 hours on homework every weekend, it's all pretty stable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:04 AM Flag
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^np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:06 AM Flag
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Really? What school do they go to? My DC would never go for that. She is a perfectionist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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You can't call yourself a unicorn. It means you are this perfect thing only in legends. You were a helicopter mom. Or an outlier. Or rare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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10th grader aims for 10pm but depending on work it could be as late as 12/1am (but that's rare) - she is up at 5:50am. On saturdays she sleeps at least until 10am - I wake her up at noon if she is still asleep. Sundays, I wake her up at 10am if still asleep. She is not getting enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:20 PM Flag
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8th grader goes to bed around 10:30 and gets up at 7:00. She goes into school early to get some extra studying done. She's in a math club on Monday afternoons, and drama club on Thursday afternoons. She otherwise does homework between 3:00 and 7:00 pm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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wow, four hours a day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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I continuously battle with this, but my kids (6, 8, 10) have sports until 8pm 3 nights a week so on those nights they're in bed around 10:30 or 11pm. Other nights I try for 9, but it's still usually closer to 10pm because they sit in bed and talk and I can only do so much to force them to sleep. I basically try to not schedule anything early on the weekends so they can sleep in. I've just come to accept that we're all pretty much night owls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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9:15/9:30 for my middle-schooler who wakes up at 6:30. It isn't quite enough sleep, but I cannot get him into bed any earlier. He tends to do his homework right afterschool and activities and practices are usually around 6/7 - then home for a shower and bed. If he has a big project or test or late game, bedtime sometimes goes to 10, but he is a disaster in the AM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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I'm from Oregon too--now in nyc and I'm amazed by what my kids are doing in schools here. And my kids really need more sleep too. Both sleep in on weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:20 PM Flag
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my dc has never needed a ton of sleep. now in 9th grade but for years has gone to bed at 11 and gotten up around 7:30. sleeps in on weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 01:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Best bakery/cake shop to buy treats for a Christmas party in Manhattan- ideally above 59th? TIA 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Eclair bakery in 53rd/2n is amazing or buttercup bakery on 2nd & 51st [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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Veniero bakery on east 11 th street. Classic Italian [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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I don't live in NYC anymore and would sell my soul for a Veniero's lobster tail right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:58 AM Flag
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thats my favorite too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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Hungarian Pastry Shop up near Columbia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:50 PM Flag
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Two Little Red Hens on 86th and 2nd always has a line going around the corner on Thanksgiving & Christmas, but remember to reserve well in advance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] What are you getting DH for Christmas? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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Nothing. We don’t need or want anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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This. We feel a little grinchy about it, but last week we tried to think of anything that would make good xmas gifts for each other, and neither of us could come up with anything we were more than "meh" about. We also agreed not to buy anything in 2020, so we could have some gift ideas for once! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:22 AM Flag
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Nothing. We get stuff when we need it all throughout the year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Same. We usually try to see a few movies over the holidays. Before DD, our big excitement was going to a concert on NYE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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Same here, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 11:52 AM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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we don't do gifts. we're going skiing as a family trip for the holidays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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Golf clubs, new underwear, couple of books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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We are getting a maple sugaring evaporator (Vermont mom) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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Gardening stuff, jelly beans, a dna kit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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We bought each other a trip to Mexico between Christmas Eve and NYE so that was our main gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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Books, new jacket, theater tickets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Nothing. In both of our families, Christmas gifts end at high school graduation. Adults contribute what they can to a family fund all year, and then at Thanksgiving we find out the total and all propose charities for donations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:33 AM Flag
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Admirable. I avoid all shopping in December. The frenzy and Black Friday mayhem are awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:40 AM Flag
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np. ITA. If it weren't for DCs, I would not buy anything. It's so wasteful, esp the stocking stuffings and adult presents. So many candles, lotions and other stuff that will go unused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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I appreciate this - what are some charities you've done in the past? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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Flannel pajamas to lounge around in during the winter evenings. Hygge! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:53 PM Flag
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Funny how I never cared for PJs as loungewear. If I'm not dressed to go out, I find jeans & sweats much more comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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We usually buy each other gifts every other year. Last year we bought a new sofa instead of gifts. This year we are doing gifts but keeping it under $200 each. Sometimes we skip our anniversary too. Never do Valentine's Day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:08 PM Flag
[ - ] What is your best tip for increased productivity? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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To do list that is not too ambitious . Whether it is work or personal items that need to get done , write everything out in a list w estimated time allotments . I find it satisfying to check things off a list [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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+1 and make sure to set goals within the list. For example, if it's a work list, do the imperatives and then decide that you're going to get 3 add'l things done and just plow through them. If at home, just keep going through the list when you have time. Checking off is important! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 10:00 AM Flag
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Please ask this tomorrow morning again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:21 AM Flag
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Work harder. Stay off UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:41 AM Flag
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I love Planner Pads...it seems like a hokey system, but it works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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"Slay the frog" aka do the most dreaded task on your to-do list FIRST every day, so it's not looming over you. Designate a time to check and respond to emails - maybe twice a day, depending on your job. Listen to a podcast if you have something monotonous to get through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone hate holiday cards/gift wrap decorated with sparkles as much as I do? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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You need to quantify if you want an answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:41 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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glitter is the herpes of the crafting world [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:47 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel terrible--recently found out that someone I know (family friend growing up) as a child with cancer. I haven't written them yet (it's been about a week). Is it too late to step up? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Never too late. Promise. xo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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Not at all. Be concise and sincere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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Nope. Do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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Of course not, they will be dealing with this for months, years... Sometimes I feel paralyzed when I can't find the right words but saying *something* is always better than saying nothing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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ugh, never too late. In some ways I think it is better for people to come forward in waves, so they have consistent support. What kind of cancer? Just so devastating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else’s Alexa going a little nuts tonight? Both of ours have been lit up and making random noises since DH and I got home. Otherwise functioning normally. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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Mine has started lighting up when I walk into the room. Creepy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Mine started glowing green. Turns out that means there are notifications. Just clear them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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Op - thanks, will try that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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How do I clear them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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Like the car or the dog, Alexa is happy you're home! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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Speaking of Alexa, I love this SNL "Amazon Echo partners with AARP" skit! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Best office Secret Santa gifts? What do people actually want that is under $25 and not a gift card? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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Lotion, thermos, potted plant, smartwool, tea, calendar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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Canned ham [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:34 AM Flag
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Spam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:43 AM Flag
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Lotion is the worst! People are particular about their brand and scent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 11:27 AM Flag
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10ft long phone charging cable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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10-meter-long HDMI cable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:34 AM Flag
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Maybe a S’well water bottle ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Why, I don't see anything special about those bottles? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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Lottery scratch tickets [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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A "good morning inc" desk calendar. So many fun ones. A small Christmas decoration for office or home if they celebrate. S'well coffee mug. Ear muffs. Small picture frame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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Swell thermos [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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Bombas so ks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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Costco has sheepskin slippers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Adult coloring book [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Happy Socks - https://www.happysocks.com/us/. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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Surprisingly, games were the most popular at our White Elephant, like handheld Tetris, Skip-Bo or Cards Against Humanity. Works for parents and Millennials! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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Reusable items like tote bags and straws — things that make people feel green but which they might not spend money on for themselves [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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Agree on socks, cute coffee mugs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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Am I the only one who thought that a Secret Santa gift of socks didn't show much thought? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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candy, bottle of wine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know what’s happening east side downtown right now ? I’m hearing and seeing a lot of fire engines all at once 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Check citizen app [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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check out citizen app [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Probably a fire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Waiting for dd’s second try at the ISEE. Hoping scores go up. Are the scores typically the same the second round? Hope they don’t go down! 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 12.10.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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You post about this incessantly. What is wrong with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Hi OP—I just posted wondering if anyone has their child retake the ISEE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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Yes, it was worth it because dd was more relaxed the second time around. I suspect the average scores will stay in the same range. She has some percentiles in the upper range that could potentially go up but also some in the lower range, so stanine could go down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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dc took again and two scores went down, one went up and one stayed the same. I'm bummed since dc thought the second test went well. I think we are going to send the first set of scores. They aren't stellar but looks more solid across the board I think [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Are you the one with the on seriously low dipping outlier? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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or: no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:06 PM Flag
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What are the scores? Is this for the Lower / Middle / Upper test? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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or: for lower. got 6s across the board first time. went down to a 5, 5, 7, 6 second time. Guess I'm sending the first round and crossing my fingers. We prepped but dc is not a great test taker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:07 PM Flag
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At what score level would you decide to re-take? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:54 AM Flag
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I would retake unless you have all 8s and 9s. Doesn't hurt to see if the scores can improve. Would definitely retake if there is a 6 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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9,9,7,8 and have not re-taken. The 7 is with just 3 wrong. 8 is with 1 wrong! Seems hard to get a 9 on the math sections, and my child is very strong in math. I'm thinking these scores are good enough... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:37 PM Flag
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OR above: I wouldn't retake with those stanines! Those are excellent. I should rephrase, "unless you have mostly 8/9s", not all. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:20 PM Flag
[ - ] How important is for you to have a cell phone number with a 212 área code? 43 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Hey Elaine, hows it going? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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I’m the op and I’m male [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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Same character, but I’ll call you Elias. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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He's an Elaine. There's nothing wrong with a man being analogised to a feminine character. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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True. Just didn’t want to offend him personally as he was quick to identify as male. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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They always are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:35 AM Flag
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Who is Elaine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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Seinfeld character who preferred the 212 area code. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Seinfeld show was pre-cell phones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 09:45 AM Flag
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She was offered a 646 number for either a new home phone or a second phone -- I forget which. This was before 917 for cells. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 11:35 AM Flag
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Same 212 desire, just different technology. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 11:57 AM Flag
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Millenial mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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Np. I'm a Millennial (38 years old), and grew up watching Seinfeld. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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You're *barely* a Millennial. You're on the cusp on Gen X. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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917 is better. When I see 212, I assume it's a robocall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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This, or someone from a landline I don’t want to talk to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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This. 212 cells are strange. You want a 917 cell and a 212 home or office [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 06:49 AM Flag
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I always assume a 212 is an important call from a legit business -- like doctor's office or school. I'm usually right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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Yep. I will never give mine up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:58 PM Flag
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I only know one person w a 212 cell number [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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I got lucky to get one a few months ago and immediately port it to my cell phone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Dh and I both have one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Np: when did you get your cell phones? even in 1996/7 I don't know anyone who has a 212 cell [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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área??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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You can get them, you just have to call and if one isn't available that day, wait two days and call back. That's what I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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it was for setting up our work number years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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i only know folks with 917 and 646. I also assume any 212 is a landline or a robocall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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For personal use? Not at all. For business, maybe a little but most people have 917 or 646 — it’s not really a status symbol. Now if you’re talking about 347 or 929 ... then maybe I could see wanting one of the three listed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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I have a 347, what's wrong with it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:04 AM Flag
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Nothing “wrong” with it except it doesn’t have the Manhattan cachet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:14 AM Flag
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When it comes to cell phones, 917 > 646 > 347 > 929. Of course none of this really matters [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 11:39 AM Flag
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Everyone I know in Westchester has a 917. I do not think that is a NYC number. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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Poster with 347, never knew that. But then I live in Brooklyn and don't care about Manhattan cachet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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OR: I don’t care about it either — but there was an article in the Washington Post awhile back about people paying BIG money for certain area codes for businesses (especially true in California.) For lawyer or accountant, it might make a difference to some. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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np: Some people want a certain area code for business so you look more connected to a geographical area. I know a legal recruiter who maintains a 415 area code (San Francisco) even though she lives in another part of California. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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I've had a 917 cell number since the early aughts. I live in Brooklyn. I know people in Manhattan with the same cell area code. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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Important enough that I got one. I don't have a landline anymore, so it's an identifier. There are some robocalls now that have 212, but that's true of every area code. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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Why would anyone care about something so silly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 05:00 PM Flag
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"status" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 06:15 AM Flag
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I bought a 212 SIM card off ebay about 10 years ago for my iphone. I still get comments about it like wow how did you get that?! Honestly it's almost zero importance at this point but I think for my work (investment banker) it connotes a certain gravitas being in manhattan. At least it conveys my location very clearly because literally everyone knows 212. It cost like $10 and i got to pick the number. Certain numbers were very expensive like (212) XXX-6666, if you have three or four identical numbers those cost the most. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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I have one and love it. There used to be kind of a halo with people wondering how I got it. It’s not a big deal any more but I will never give it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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